Posts tagged twitter

helenvaughans:

can-i-make-image-descriptions:

internetkatze:

sapphosdickandballs:

bee-leaving:

creaturey:

expiredcheese:

ok this tag really got me

…girl

immortalizing these tags

When me and my brother were toddlers and we spilled anything liquid, my mom would singsong, “[Name] Valdez! [Name] Valdez!”

Eventually, as we grew up, this morphed into just saying “Valdez!” whenever we spilled something. As far as I was concerned “Valdez” was just a word for “oops!” specifically in this context.

It wasn’t until I was probably a teenager that I discovered she was referencing the Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989.

[Image IDs: Image #1: Tweet from verified user Nicole Cliffe (@/ Nicole_Cliffe) reading: If you normalized something (non-awful) because your family did it and then realized it was not, in fact, normal or remotely common, I would love to hear about it.

Reply from Morgan 51 Finkelstein (@/ momofink) on 08 Sep 20 reading: the villain in my bedtime stories was always the President of the Homeowner’s Association and I was sooooo confused when no one else had heard of him

Image #2: Tumblr tags from you-held-the-door reading: #when I was kid my dad and I would play that game at the playground where the kid stays up on the climbing structure #and the adult stays on the ground to chase the kid #usually the adult is like a monster or a lava monster or something #but my dad always pretended to be george bush

Image #3: Tumblr tags reading: #my dad never let me roll down the windshield when we were on highways #because and I quote “the car is going so fast that the wind can topple cars” #and I just never questioned it until years later #turns out he just didn’t like the noise

#also another thing: #you know that game grown ups do with young children where they chase you around #and go “oh you’re so cute I could eat you up! I’m going to eat ya!” that kind of thing? #well when my parents did that I used to go “no you won’t, you guys love me. also I’m you’re only child.” #then my mom would go really silent and fake being contrite and tell me that #actually no I had an older sibling that they cannibalized. #I only survived because I was a cute baby and they waited too long and I got too big to fit in the pot anymore. #and it would make me really angry because I knew she was lying but I had no way to prove it #and mom thought it was the funniest thing ever #anyway I only found out in high school when I was trying for a “lol so relatable” type of joke with my friends that apparently #having a long-running joke that your parents had a dead first child that they cannibalized isn’t a common thing that other families also do #mmari rambles

Image #4: Tumblr tags reading: #my family has a phrase for when someone eats most of something and leaves less than a serving of it left #(usually done to avoid having to throw it away. like leaving less than a cup of milk or just crumbs in a bag of chips)

#we call it ‘buddyfucking.’ bc ur fucking ur buddy over #apparently it came from my dad’s time in the army #Anyways. i quickly learned when i went to college that when most people hear 'alright who buddyfucked me’ #they do Not think i am asking who left one square of toilet paper on the roll without changing it /End IDs]

tacticaltaxonomist:

thepioden:

seananmcguire:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

veshume:

astro-egg-celent:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

I want a dachshund or other small dog because it seems like a good middle ground

Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but please do think it over. Dachshunds (and many other small breeds) actually require quite a lot of activity and exercise (mental and physical)*. If those needs aren’t met, that can cause so many difficult behavioral problems. They’re working dogs, after all: if they aren’t given a job, they’ll find one themselves (and it’ll be likely something very annoying or unpleasant to you)

*yes, it does depend on the individual dog, but the general tendency points to those breeds being high energy

#tons of small breeds were made specifically to hunt small fast animals so like. don’t get a small dog thinking it’ll be easier#dachshunds were bred to hunt badgers. do you want a dog with the need to hunt badgers or do you want a little dude to hang out with#if it’s the latter just get a cat

Also, a lot of people who do like cats want a Maine Coon because they’ve seen pictures of mine or others’, and they’re majestic! Huge!! Fluffy!!! Such a good kitty!!!!

Maine Coons are dog-smart, and basically tiny thumbless toddlers who will never grow up. They have long memories, they hold grudges, and they want things the way they want them. What you want is probably not a Maine Coon. I love them, but jumping from “cat” to “Maine Coon” is like jumping from “dog” to “border collie”. Don’t do that unless you know what you’re getting into.

If you think you want a Maine Coon but what Seanan has said above does not appeal, what you probably actually want is a Ragdoll, or actually actually a domestic longhair.

If you want the middle ground between ‘cat’ and 'dog’ in personality, you want one of the big sighthounds. Greyhounds and up are couch potato buddies BUT now you need the physical infrastructure and financial resources to contain and support a carnivore the size of a small pony that has a seven-foot vertical leap, all the common sense and impulse control god gave a garden hose, and land speeds exceeding 35 miles per hour. So maybe reconsider a cat.

and don’t get a Ragdoll (or scottish fold or munchkin) unless you’re 100% sure you’ll be able to afford years of buying pain medication (and if failing that bad behaviour like peeing places and agression) because these breeds have joint pain built into them.

kinardstits:

misheancolchester:

thesapphictwink:

dankxsinatra:

There’s a scene in very early 60’s Doctor Who where a character falls into a swamp, I think, and they throw not a rag doll, but a card board cut out of the actor. 10/10 they don’t make ‘em like this no more

Originally posted by zombikrumpli

Originally posted by lace-anne

bogleech:

transhuman-priestess:

transhuman-priestess:

zombieofdrake:

haildiscordia:

nitewrighter:

Here’s dril’s candles on a graph for reference.

It’s easy to look at these and assume “well, high crime cities need more police,” but i think that’s putting the cart before the horse.

Police make crime worse.

Police take fiscal oxygen out of the room, away from actual social support programs. The money spent on policing could go to housing, nutritional services, healthcare, civil rights, building inspections, labor rights enforcement, street maintenance, public transportation. But it goes to paying guys to sit around idling Ford Explorers all day and hitting poor people with sticks.

Crime follows poverty in absolutely every single case. Every single “high crime city” is because of the fucking poverty.

trupie:

ectoimp:

that muppet post reminded me, most if not all of the main muppets have twitter pages. Fav has gotta be Miss Piggys, which is filled with selfies and vaguely uplifting text thats also egocentric. all the comments are people complimenting her and being like “YAS QUEEN”

Close second is Gonzos. Which is just…unhinged

savleye:

It leaked that the game freak devs working on Pokemon X and Y put born this way by Lady Gaga in the game code to test the audio and it’s fucking killing me 💀 like I knew they were Gaga stans bc Elesa’s design is inspired by her but this is so funny

doh007:

iwait4youalexg:

Oh!

Thank you all, i needed further explanation - And i do find it might help me!

brightlotusmoon:

findersfeeders:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

mihai-florescu:

Except, critically, at bedtime.

Ravings and urges get miscoded over time. Let’s say you’re thirsty, and you live in a strawberry field. Strawberries contain some water and a bunch of sugar so, over time, you may start to crave strawberries when you are thirsty because you get a reward and some relief in shorter time from the need starting than the trek to the stream. This can happen for every need: sleep, food, whatever.

Trevor Noah has a great tip, that when he craves ice cream at night he breaks it down into parts: I want something cold, I want something sweet. He drinks a glass of cold water then waits to see if he still has the ice cream craving. Usually he doesn’t.

So listening to your body isn’t “follow every urge” but “decompose the urge to discover the underlying need.”

If you always feel like getting cozy in bed you may be: cold, dehydrated, and/or malnourished (maybe a need for high calories that are bioaccessible…not processed).

If you do not feel tired at bedtime you may: need to eat dinner earlier because your body is still digesting, need to exercise or go outside more during the day, get the fuck off your screen for an hour so your brain can enter sleep mode.

Hope this helps someone.

P.S. notice i said nothing about neurodivergence. Not that it’s not a likelihood but the over-pathologization of behaviors prevents us from taking simple actions to improve our wellbeing. Also, these tips are pretty accessible and applicable to most brain variations.

surprisebitch:

X/Twitter might have actually hit the final nail in the coffin this time. It’s no longer a safe space for artists to post art.

I urge you if you know any artists from there, encourage them to make a Tumblr account and post their artworks here!

sorrow-hollow:

becquerel:

becquerel:

i love when people on the internet get denied stuff and you find the most innovative minds of the generation dedicated to making goddamn sure other people get what they want come hell or high water

Okay but I get this. All of you worms who have things blocked on your wifi or whatever and have IbisPaint this is how you do it

Open IbisPaint go to a canvas (any canvas, or make. a new one)

Select the font tool (if you don’t know what or where that is, press the tool icon (normally a paint brush or eraser) and press the T button

From there you should be able to create a text box (writing is not important…). Find the font button and add a new font. I can’t remember what it’s called but you’ll know when you see it

It’ll automatically search for you “free fonts.” Do not follow this. Your app is misdirecting you. Instead search up whatever it is you’re looking for in the search bar, and that should work

Knowledge should not be trapped behind bars, bend and break them until you can grasp it

sadcabbages:

artsyrean:

Damn didn’t know Ralsei had parents

It’s the determination extractor from the true lab

deimostes:

also when i say everyones art style is unique to them no matter the range i think this tweet is genuinely unironically a perfect example showcasing that

ALT

they all watched that tutorial together and yet every richard is different and unique. your art is still yours. do not worry about keeping up a “consistent art style” it will come to you

cannibalchicken:

pocket-deer-belly:

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion:

birdsareblooming:

notfinancialadvice:

This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.

coat bath

tag yourselves i’m the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN

i remade it in the sims 4