small and extremely low stakes instance of cops being stupid and corrupt is when they’re parked somewhere trying to catch people speeding and then pull out behind me when i for sure deserve a ticket but then back off when they see my firefighter plates. it happens like once a week.
girl i made bagels!!!!!!!!!!! from scratch :) i started the dough yesterday morning and then it sat in my fridge all day until today when i baked them <3 salt, poppy seed, parmesan, cinnamon sugar, za’atar, ranch
Jan 1 :)
my new years resolutions for 2026:
- finally succeed at making croissants from scratch instead of all the butter leaking out when they bake
- pay off some debt
- get a pet
- have a one night stand with someone who was born in like 2001 because I think it’s funny that I’m beginning to approach cougar age
everyone look at my beautiful new daily planner that i will for sure forget to use by mid february!!!!
tonight for dinner I had a wedge salad and fries and an espresso martini and two glasses of white wine and then I took a plastic cup of champagne down to the beach to lay in the sand and stare at the stars and think about my year. and while I was laying there I kept looking over because the beach was empty but I could see a black lump in the distance sort of in the water and I was like ??? but it wasn’t yelling for help or moving so I was like okay it’s probably not someone dying. but it was still there after like 45 minutes so out of curiosity on my way back off the beach I walked over to see what it was and it turned out to be an enormous great blue heron, probably three or four feet tall, also contemplating his year while staring at the ocean, and I said hell yeah brother
got boy meal at panda express for dinner tonight yay (white rice, double teriyaki chicken, no extra sauce)
Anonymous
How was your Christmas?
It was good! I think the final count was two broken wine glasses, three minor kitchen fires, five instant ice packs, two wound dressings, and 🥁🥁🥁🥁 zero! trips to the emergency room. yay :) also my parents got me a 60 lb weight vest as a gift then my mom was concerned about how heavy it actually was (people have a hard time conceptualizing weight I think) and told me to work up to wearing it all at once then was VERY concerned when I told her that i specifically asked for a 60lb vest because it’s the weight of my normal everyday gear and I want to work out in it <3
and I made a beautiful tiramisu with gold glitter on it! among other things
days of family christmas completed: 0.5
times i was asked to do ems and/or literally put out a fire in the kitchen while my lovingly chaotic family panicked in the background: 4
i just made and ate the most diabolically rare steak like literally what is going on with me lately, I don’t even usually eat red meat but i’ve been having like one steak per week, i think i have an iron deficiency or something