"Obligation [kills] enthusiasm. ... curiosity collapsed under the weight of [duty.] ... autonomy fuels motivation, [and] the moment something becomes compulsory, it starts to feel like work.
[But] almost nothing in life is truly mandatory, only consequential. Freedom [means] recognizing that you're always choosing, and that every choice carries a cost."
I think u should start writing your original story btw. I want to read it.
addition: I understand wanting to wait until things feel Right to write. but as someone who also contends with adhd and The Situations there is not going to be a time where it magically feels perfect to write. "I'll do it someday / later / when..." is an endless delay. you've gotta crack open a document and write something even if it sucks ass because if you don't get your brain used to the habit it's not gonna stick. the time you can start is Now.
"I need to stop starting fandom projects so I stop disappointing people."
Stop treating yourself like you are the workers at a fast food franchise.
Your writing is a hobby, don't let it turn into a source of guilt, shame and frustration instead of a source of joy.
i beat myself up for not knowing enough about my special interests a lot but then i remember the average person off the street has no idea what the carboniferous is and i feel better
are you really bad at it or are you in "good at it" spaces
"are you really bad at it or are you in 'good at it' spaces" has derailed so much self-hate since I read it
this is a load bearing sentence in my psyche and I can't believe it's only 2 months old
Btw if people keep telling you to stretch but never told you how to actually do it right you're supposed to go slower than you think & just hold it until you feel the muscle relax. Like how anal works
Also the muscle that goes up to your temples and gives you headaches is the same as the one that clenches your jaw & it goes down the sides of your neck so stretching your neck helps with headaches and jaw tension. You can also massage it with a vibrator
Stretching as far as possible immediately is not the goal you just bend until it feels tight. It's not supposed to Hurt You Worse. It won't hurt if you're doing it right. Much like another activity
Many are saying "we're on the celibacy website these people don't know how anal works either" I know. That's my secret second lesson
Anonymous asked:
i know gender and sexuality arent exactly the same but “i could survive being with a man” is comphet. “i could survive living as a man” sounds much the same. you’re not meant to live in survival mode. it sounds like you do *need* to transition
cnc-pet answered:
That’s… fair
with 2+ years of hindsight (and almost 10 months of HRT), I want to thank this anon, because I think genuinely this played a significant role in helping me to start transitioning.
I've been so much happier since then, and especially since starting HRT. Yeah, there are new struggles and anxieties and problems to adapt to, but I'm also learning how to enjoy life and find myself and love myself, and it's definitely worth it.
Over the past year I've laughed and cried and been able to look at myself in the mirror and selfies and enjoy what I look like. I've felt more comfortable with my body, and worn outfits and accessories that I've been daydreaming about for over a decade. I've felt pretty, which was not something that I thought was possible.
If you're on the fence about transitioning, please know that it's enough to chase joy. If you think you'd be happier, that's enough. You don't have to have known since you were a toddler. You don't have to be so depressed that you can't bear another day as your AGAB. You don't have to "earn" or "deserve" to transition. It's enough to want it.
Remember that if you want to do more of something, you have to do less of something else. It's that time of year where people set goals for the new year and they have plans and hopes and it's always focusing on what they want to do more of. More studying, more exercise, more crafting, more socialising, more making things from scratch. Okay, great. What are you going to do less of in order to have the time and energy to do more of those things you really want to do?
And if your answer to this is "less doomscrolling" or "less bedrotting" then great, but please think about why you're doing those things. No one's doomscrolling or bedrotting because they don't have things they'd rather be doing. Actually, I'm willing to bet you have a lot of things you'd rather be doing and you spend your life internally screaming at yourself to do literally any one of the many things you want to be doing instead, but you don't have the energy for them all and you can't work out how to prioritize them, so doomscrolling spares you from making that decision. Or perhaps you're burned out from taking on too many projects and you need to rest your brain, so you lie in bed because you don't even have the energy to get started anymore.
This is going to be a really hard pill to swallow, but the truth is you might not be able to balance all your hobbies and all your projects the way you'd like. If you want to finish writing that book, you might have to reduce your daily drawing habit to a couple of times a week. If you want to do yoga every morning, you might have to accept not cooking from scratch as often. If you want to spend more time with your family, you might have to cut down on your yearly reading goal. I'm not saying give up on your hobbies; I'm be realistic with your time and your energy and be kind to yourself. Stop expecting yourself to do more and do better every single year. You don't have to constantly be growing upwards and reaching for the stars; you can be content with where you are, or even cut parts of yourself back to make space for other things in your life to bloom.
Think about what your priorities are and make peace with doing less of other things. Less is okay. Less is not failing. Less is self care.
