I’ll never get over Ilya being like no no, I must set record straight. I want to fuck your son since the literal moment I first saw him at seventeen. It was freckles. And then I fuck him. Repeatedly. For entire decade. He gave up that ass like absolute freak. He is my good little boy. Yes, that is right. Since the markets crash and millennial dream is dead. I hear on radio, then I fuck your son. We grow old together. Lovers.
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DontOffendTheBees’ DBDA Fic Masterpost
Or, essentially, my 2024 Ao3 Wrapped because this show is all I’ve posted on main all year 😅 But it’s nice to be back in the swing of writing and it’s been such a rough year, so I’m gonna take a minute now to bask in the glow of my accomplishments 💛
(please note fic links are to Ao3, and most fics are locked to be visible to registered users only!)
Multichapter Fics:
never fade away (E, 66.3k, ch. 5/5, Charles/Edwin, past Cat King/Edwin, Complete)
My contribution to the 2025 Dead Boys Big Bang, a slow and sad All Of Us Strangers AU (movie knowledge not required!). Featuring gorgeous, achey art by @antichrists-plus1 💛
Art posts:
Poster | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4
A Heart’s A Heavy Burden (T, 41.7k, ch. 4/7, Cat King/Charles/Edwin, Ongoing), co-written with @dear-monday and @tw0-ravens
A whimsical, polyamorous Howl’s Moving Castle AU, written in partnership with Hayley and Lucy and featuring SHOWSTOPPING art by @idliketobeatree!
Art posts:
Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7
Oh, Lonely Bones, Have You Forgotten? (M, 31.9k, ch. ¾, Charles/Edwin, Ongoing, Temporary Hiatus)
A haunting little odyssey of Edwin finding his earthly remains, and figuring out where the hell to go from there. Was hoping to finish this off before the year was out but pain and other projects sadly got in the way! Don’t worry, she will be complete one day, I swear!
Somewhere Beyond the Sea (T, 16k, ch 2/5, Charles/Edwin, Ongoing)
A sweet and magical Payneland Ponyo AU, written originally as a Secret Santa gift and then ballooning WAY out of proportion! I’m so, so excited for how this one turns out! Now featuring adorable cover art by @honorarypines !
One-shots:
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ALTCommon Vampire Bat Desmodus rotundus
A bat found from Central and South America, from Mexico to Argentina. The common vampire bat practices hematophagy, mainly feeding on the blood of livestock. It is one of the most social of bat species with a number of cooperative behaviors such as social grooming and food sharing.
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It’s extremely important that you listen to this with the sound on
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attitudes on this site are so weird. Making Art is essential, holy, almost mandatory to earn your place in humanity, but Consuming Media is the mind killer, base and passive and numbing to the soul. storytelling is literally thee most important thing in the world but if you really like reading / watching / listening to stories as your main hobby then you are sooo fucked in the head. everyone go sit quietly and write a trunk novel in complete isolation and then burn it so no one's mind gets polluted with saccharine fictions.
I think a lot of people are only getting about 80% of what I meant here, so to clarify: if you think communal storytelling is the spark of life, how can you also define the act of engaging with stories as something passive and thoughtless and unhealthy that should only be done in moderation? art does not happen in a vacuum, it happens at the meeting point between creation and observation, and both of those roles are active. the human brain is not a projection screen that simply accepts images, people are constantly thinking and interpreting and reacting to the world around them, including to the art they see.
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is what that person calls themself actually impacting you or are you just micro-policing a stranger's identity in the same way that would make you mad if somebody else did it to you??
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i don't need a guard dog butch i need a bumbling henchman butch. like she's very loyal and wants to protect me but she's constantly fucking up my schemes due to being tricked by children and/or talking animals. shes always going “errrr im sowry boss they escaped the dungeon :(“ and i'm always hitting her with lightning bolts. yeah i’ll say shit like “you’ve failed me for the last time you impudent worm” but i never throw her into my volcano despite her obvious incompetence because all of this is ultimately a sex thing
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'the Character tops' 'nooo the Character bottoms' actually, the Character does whatever makes my dick hardest
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SETTLERS OF CATAN: THE MOVIE
starring TIMOTHY CHALAMET as BRICK
ANYA TAYLOR JOY as WHEAT
and JACK BLACK as SHEEP
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so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig
happy one year of this post. and from the bottom of my heart. i did not know what i wrought
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i bet daniel craig and rachel weisz are engaged in forms of full time kink we can't even comprehend. like if he leaves even one speck of crust on her tea sandwiches she puts him in a christening gown and hunts him on their estate
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Now, who wants to go first?
WAKE UP DEAD MAN: A Knives Out Mystery
2025, dir. Rian Johnson
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MAKE OUT! TONGUE EACHOTHER!!!
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"post without tags?" OH IM FUCKING SORRY #BEES #9/11
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a second bumblebee has hit the flowers
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every time someones says "hey how are you" and i say "good" and forget to add the "how about you?" i feel like i've missed a quicktime event