i keep shaking the magic 8 ball but all it says is "LOL YOU'RE FUCKED"

I’ve been laughing at “fuck this lemon you take it” for several minutes

take this papaya from my cold dead hands is sending me again oh my god

badminton is dont hit the fucking ground you stupid disgusting baby bird

every day this post has more responses that make me lunge back in my chair with the most unnecessarily loud cackle

Hockey is I’m gonna launch this peppermint patty at you and the only way to stop me is violence

curling is my two friends and i really want to put a watermelon in that exact spot, but the floor disagrees

relay racing is "here, you take this leek"

The idea of “but everyone knows that” needs to stop.

I saw a post about someone chiding Millennials for not knowing about JKRowlings transphobia, and asking how it is at all possible that people can exist in the world and the internet and, you know, not know.

Which I mean, I get. It is so present in so many of my online spaces that it seems astounding that someone could simply be ignorant! It feels impossible!

But let me tell you a story:

I went on a girls trip with a bunch of friends. All of us are rather incredibly liberal and all of us are incredibly online.

One girl would not stop talking about Harry Potter.

At one point, another girl asked her why she was ok with supporting it, and she had no real clue that JK Rowling was at all transphobic. She had heard that she likes to support Lesbian causes and thought “oh ok cool!” And that was it. She was AGOG with the news and rather horrified.

I must once again emphasize that she was an incredibly online person. She’s a foodie and a restaurant blogger.

Later in the trip we were picking restaurants and I suggested one I found on Google, and she gasped at me. Actually gasped, asking how I could ever be okay picking that one.

The shock must’ve been on my face, because she then told me all of the shitty things that restaurateur does. He abuses staff. Underpays them. Fires them on a whim. Is known for being one of the worst people to his employees in the entire restaurant business on this coast.

And she was so shocked I had never heard of this. Because in her mind, I was just as online as her. And in her online world, EVERYONE knew about this guy.

So I think the moral of this story is: always approach the other person with some empathy. Even online people, even people you think MUST know about how bad people are, may not have heard. It may truly be just them being on a different sphere of the internet than you.

So be gentle, be kind when letting people know they might not have heard about the cancellation of XYZ person. Don’t assume that everyone knows all the same info as you.

By all means, let them know so they can make informed decisions, but being kind will go a lot further than attacking them for some info they might not know yet.

its really annoying that its like apparently impossible to explain to men that "sexual assault is not the Default State of women in distress and it's ReallyFhucking Stupid that this is literally the go-to when writing a conflict involving a woman" without it being interpreted as "writing about rape is bad and all suggestions of it as a reality for some women must be avoided at all costs" like i mean really really really annoying

like there are stories involving sexual assault where its inclusion gives you a more intimate understanding of the world and characters that would be objectively diminished by treating it with kid gloves and whitewashing it out of existence. and there are stories involving sexual assault where its inclusion makes it Incredibly Obvious the guy writing it just cannot fathom any scenario in which a woman could experience a struggle of Any Kind that does not ultimately involve rape .

the boss fight version of this is when its both and the inclusion of sexual assault is necessary for the reality of the situation to be portrayed with any sense of honesty or integrity but also the way its presented is in such poor taste that it feels like youre being held hostage by the most obnoxiously self-important nerd on the entire planet

Matching manicure with stone crab

Whenever I hear a woman actually express the sentiment "I don't want to lift weights because I don't want to get bulky" it takes me by surprise. Like I have to remember that is not just some cliche and is in fact an opinion popularly held.

And like, it takes much more than just touching a weight to get bulky. But ignoring that part, you don't want to look yoked? You don't want to look shredded? Muscles? MUscles?

Okay Tumblr I know gym selfies are a cardinal sin, but they're not mature content. Do not flag me.

The standoff with agents happened on Jan. 8, one day after an ICE agent shot and killed Renee Good in south Minneapolis. Wooten’s refusal to comply with ICE was captured on video and posted to Facebook. 

The agents tried everything to intimidate the guard.

 “You can’t come back here, bro,” Wooten can be heard in the video saying to an agent wearing a mask and sunglasses. “I’m talking to your manager,” the agent said. Wooten responded: “No, you’re talking to security, I’m in charge.”

ICE left empty-handed. Wooten said he just stood his ground, “10 toes down.”

“I was doing my job like I’m supposed to,’’ Wooten said. “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. I just want to make my family safe because I’ve been here three years.”