that fictional woman would NOT get pregnant.

#and they would abort it immediately if they did - @listen-to-the-inner-walrus

“No homo” cries the team at the dig site. The head archaeologist sinks to his knees, sobbing. He has dedicated his entire career to the pursuit of homo habilis, an important part of the hominid evolutionary line. All his work led up to this archaeological dig site. But now, his whole life has been for nothing. There is no homo….there is only Australopithecus.

I read this to a group of archaeologists and they completely lost their shit

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can't wait to take him on little adventures

You get home from work. Finally. The sun's already set outside your apartment window. At least your apartment has a window.

You discard most of your work uniform in the corner with the other laundry and click on the TV before landing in your couch with a heavy sigh. The blue light of the TV floods the otherwise dark room.

"Joining us today for an exclusive interview is Red, four time Pokemon League Champion, who also famously disbanded criminal organization Team Rocket at least twice! Thank you so much for tuning in."

Pokemon league champion, huh? You think to yourself. You used to want that. A child's dream - it was silly, really....

You'd heard of Red - of course you have, you don't live under a rock - but this was the first time seeing them up close, no filter. They looked tired. They actually looked about your age.

"Now Red," the reporter continued, "You've already told us about your travels through the world, your experiences as Champion, and your fight against Team Rocket and similar criminal organizations. I know we're almost out of time but there's one last thing we'd like to hear from you - do you have any words for the future generation of Pokemon trainers? Any advice for those just at the start of their journey?"

The Champion waited a moment before answering: "Yes. I meet a lot of people. A lot of people who used to want to be trainers. And I understand, it's not for everyone. But, people say 'Oh, you're still going at your age?' or 'Oh, I wanted to when I was younger,' or 'Oh, I couldn't now, I'm too old.'" Red shook their head sadly. "These people are my age, maybe even younger. They're wrong. It doesn't matter how old you are and it never did. It doesn't matter if you never got a Pokemon from the local professor at ten years old. It's not just for children. It's for everyone. The bond between people and Pokemon is not something you miss out on just because you had to grow up."

Red pauses again, and you realize you're paying more attention to the program than you thought you were.

"Pokemon are everywhere. The world is filled with magic. It's never too late."

"It's never too late..." you repeat under your breath. Something about the Champion's words clicked inside your brain. The world is full of magic....

As if on cue, sounds from within your apartment catch your attention: Rustling in your garbage can, scrabbling inside the wall, clawing at your window.

[INVESTIGATE TRASH CAN: Choose Trubbish]
[INVESTIGATE WALL: Choose Rattata]
[INVESTIGATE WINDOW: Choose Glameow]

Keep reading

You ever find a fic writer that you're just like. Man. I wish you were in charge of canon.

my new humidifier has the option to add essential oils and I had this knee jerk reaction of "ew pseudoscience" until I remembered that "make your room smell nice and maybe have a mild calming effect" is basically the actual real function of essential oils.

i am writing someone an explanation of how fandom acts about devin grayson and why they act that way, and within less than 20 minutes of skimming the devin grayson tag i am so overwhelmed by disgust at people's malice and derision towards her that i have to take a break. the level of vitriolic hatred on the leftist fandom website for a woman who wrote a sexual assault arc rooted in her own experiences of being sexually assaulted is unreal.

for reference and so it's clear how abhorrent the last two screencaps are, she changed her name to distance herself from her family after she was sexually assaulted and changed it years before she even thought about working in comics. she was open about this from the time of her first interview with wizard magazine (in, i believe, the 1990s) and they chose not to publish it because it was "a downer" to bring up sa. the following quote was published on cbr, a major comics website, in 2005:

fascinating that people continue to choose to claim that devin grayson's entire life revolves around her supposed desire to personally rape dick grayson literally two decades later. i can understand why she seems to want nothing to do with dc or its fans these days when people are so giddy and delighted to make her entire existence about their own bizarre obsessions with framing her as a pseudo-rapist.

btw, re: my last paragraph, devin grayson is writing an as-yet-unannounced gotham city related oneshot for an upcoming dc anthology, and she's responded warmly to emails i and others have sent her. she still cares about gotham and its cast and definitely still appreciates her fans. i'm really looking forward to her upcoming work!

it will inevitably lead to a lot of these wildly misinformed people coming out of the woodwork, though. so as you come across people repeating this shit about her, please share accurate information with them.

there's this cake in the bakery at the grocery store I work at that i'm obsessed with because it's supposed to be a cute ladybug themed cake but the way the antennae are positioned over its eyes it looks sadistic. i'll take a pic if I see it today

FINALLY GOT A PIC

my beautiful evil daughter❤️

her name is

Gold Traditional

Was walking around town when I saw a perfect cotton ball of a dog with a big red bow around her neck standing outside a store with her owner.

ALT

Both dog and human reacted to Pocket Kibble as though I had performed a magic trick.

OP: These are notes with a strong sense of being "lively and real" that Chinese netizens can come across everywhere.

she lets me hit because she hasnt memorized my attack patterns

i let him hit cause. uh. well i’m gonna be honest it’s cause i fucked up my parry timing