The actual answer is, of course, multiple of these

I mean the actual answer is "that second image isn't from Rankin Bass Return of the King it's from Bakshi Lord of the Rings" but it's also all of them

You understand the assignment profoundly

IT WORKS!!!!

MP3 PALYER

how many times did dean winchester get knocked up in that fucking show

Years later, you realize what the prophets meant. For most of your life your son was your pride and joy; an academic, who would surely lead the kingdom into greater health and wellness. Until he committed the ultimate act of betrayal.

"You will not take my throne from me!" You cling to your grand chair so hard your knuckles turn white.

Your son sighs. "Dad. Dad it's lead-"

"Of course it's lead! It's a strong metal, signifying the strength of our country- this throne has been passed down the royal line for 300 years, 15 rulers before me-"

"That is not enough time for that many people!" Your son throws his hands up in the air. "Because it is lead! It is poisoning you! Didn't you wonder why grandpa died at 40?"

"Ah, pfoo! That's the ancestral curse."

"It's the throne! The throne is the ancestral curse!!!"

the son successfully convinces his father to give up the lead throne. he lives and rules peacefully for much longer than his family’s previous generations, dying in his third score.

the son, upon coronation, receives his own prophecy: “your daughter will tear your castle to the ground.”

now, this is a bit more of a cause for immediate concern, but unlike kings of old, he decides that the best way to avoid this surely gruesome future is to love his daughter the best he can, encourage her interests, and guide her with a steady hand - if she is to ruin his kingdom, after all, then let it be with iron will and care for the people.

his daughter is not violent at all, will only hunt if they promise the kitchens will cook what is killed and will give some to the people, and only takes a passing fancy in swordsmanship (which he thinks is more to do with the jawline of the instructor, not that he says anything). she loves to study and read, and when she asks to go for further education in a different corner of the kingdom, he allows it.

after one year, she returns, and spends the first week back acting shifty. she is always caught ducking out of corners and hidden passages, whispering with staff, and pouring over old maps of the castle layout in the library, hurriedly covering them up when anyone passes.

he privately gets his affairs in order.

two weeks after her return, the king’s daughter approaches her father with a steely look in her eye and a grim set to her jaw.

“father,” she begins, “what do you know of asbestos?”

An explanation of the joke for everyone who's not German but curious enough to check the notes:

The puppet in the middle is called "Das Sandmännchen" in German, a diminutive of "the Sandman" - which is obviously where the idea of placing him on a poster of the new Netflix show Sandman based on graphic novels by @neil-gaiman comes from.

Das Sandmännchen, having started airing in 1959, is the longest running TV show in the world (according to Wikipedia). It airs a ten minute episode every evening just before 7 pm on the German public broadcasting company's children's channel (used to be elsewhere, also historically there were different shows for Eastern and Western Germany). In each episode the Sandman arrives to put sleep sand into children's eyes to make them sleep peacefully, but they beg him for a story first (in song). That story is usually animated, featuring a number of recurring characters such as Pittiplatsch and Schnatterinchen or curious Piggeldy and his big brother Frederick (both pigs). After the story the second verse of the song is sung and it's time for young children to go to bed. You can assume that every German under the age of 50 or 60 watched Sandmännchen at some point.

In place of the other Sandman characters there are other popular characters/moderators from the children's channel.

Starting on the left we've got

Beutolomäus: the big bag - associated with Christmas, he was a bag for in which Santa Claus (or rather the German Weihnachtsmann) stored the presents for the children. He came alive rather by accident and is kind but rather sceptic. Also from the notes seems to be either loved or nightmare material

Pittiplatsch: from Sandmännchen stories. Pittiplatsch is one of the oldest recurring characters (been around since the 60s) and is a kobold. He is a bit of a prankster, makes mistakes and tends to end his episodes promising to be really good in the future. He shares his stories with a yellow duck called Schnatterinchen, who tends to be well behaved and helps when Pittiplatsch's mistakes have consequences.

Ralph Caspers: A host of science shows for children who want to learn stuff. He has been presenting the "Sendung mit der Maus" since the late 90s but most of us 90s kids probably primarily associate him with Wissen macht Ah!, a show he presented with Shary Reeves in the 2000s and another female host (Clarissa Corrêa da Silva) later, but very recently they announced he would stop. Wissen macht Ah! usually had about five different topics with some connection in a storyline around it that were explained in short films between presentation. Memorable storylines include that time Ralf got eaten by a werewolf or that time they got lost in a jungle behind a red door in the studio and found Ralf's skeleton at the end of the episode.

ALT

Originally posted by fangmich

Bernd das Brot: A depressed loaf of bread who does not want to be here or do this. He's a cult classic. Most of his time on air is spent trapped in a white hell void being forced to act out short sketch comedy while there is no programming on air between 9 pm and the early morning. He also had his own show for a while (which he did not want to do either).

Willi Weitzel: Host of Willi Wills Wissen (Willi wants to know). Another teaching show, usually focused on one topic for 25 minutes. Topics tend to focus on what it's like to work a certain job, or to be homeless, in a wheelchair etc. The show was cancelled in 2010, as Willi wanted to focus on other projects.

Pumuckl: A small kobold who lives with a carpenter, Meister Eder, and plays all sorts of pranks. He was caught by the carpenter when he got stuck on some glue and is not allowed back to the other kobolds because of it. The book series was published in the 60s, based on a radio play, and of course we are referring to an animated tv show here.

Peter Lustig: another science show host, the show was called Löwenzahn (Dandelion, like the flower). He lived in a blue construction trailer and was replaced by Fritz Fuchs a few years ago. Peter Lustig presented the show from 1981 to 2005. Usually the plot shows some topic/question that is then answered in a number of videos, interviews and even songs occasionally. An episode takes approximately 25 minutes. The title melody is quite memorable too.

Notably missing according to notes: Die Maus, a big orange mouse from another science show on Sunday mornings. (Die Sendung mit der Maus - the show with the mouse)

Originally posted by fabaceaeae

oh shit

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.