ouro

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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holy FUCK i have not been paying enough attention because i completely missed this until now!!!

please please please be good it’s been 5 whole years i need this. it’s literally been the largest wait between any tmbg album ever please be good.

please please please please please be good just be better than book. i don't hate book mind you brontosaurus is one of my favorite songs of theirs but it didn't stick in my mind like most of their others do so i just need this to be a banger. tmbg they might be giants
curlychopz
curlychopz

There's no real reason not to make Mario your OTP.


Think about this for more than 1 second and you'll start crying at how obvious it is. He's never going to stop appearing in things (always more shipping content), culturally relevant worldwide (everyone will instantly know and recognise your OTP, saving time and energy for more fanfic and snuggling), smoking hot (this is canon) and there are canonically alternative universe versions of him (who's to say there isn't a version of him that love you and only you?)


I couldn't think of anything better. A slightly overweight but charming and wholesome Italian man who's good with his hands but willing to drop everything to come save me from my evil captor. He's everyone's dream.


Who will be by your side when your dog dies of old age, comforting you and telling you "it's all gonna be okie-dokie!"?

Only mario can do that.


And if physically he's not enough for you (You demand too much, you selfish cretin)? He can transform with regular household objects. Mushrooms to make him bigger. Flowers to spice things up. Cherries if you want a whole team of hunky blue collar men waiting to fix your pipes.


Reader, the thought has me salivating.


Imagine the pasta he can make for you on cold nights. How he'd tend to the animals on the farm and keep the monsters at bay. He'd scare off the gang members you owe several thousand to in an instant, and wouldn't be afraid to crush their skulls under his feet at a moment's notice.


The dream man.


We can ignore the war crimes. And his previous afflictions. Probably drug use? He wasn't really raised by dinosaurs right? And the whole thing about his second adventure being different if he tells it in Japanese is just weird. Ignore that. Look at his muscles.


Mario is tucking you into bed tonight.


Sweet dreams.

masterful posting bd. chopz.