I really like how fervently Japanese scum villain fans have latched onto bingpup it's almost like he's the real main character and human binghe is the au instead

y'know I think that if Liu Qingge actually did tell Shen Qingqiu (SY version) that he was lonely and asked him to be intimate with him, even just for tonight, as speculated in the Airplane Q&A, Shen Qingqiu would go for it.

like probably not after he married Luo Binghe (because infidelity), and at first I think he'd blank in shock and he'd need to quadruple check that he had correctly gleaned Liu Qingge's (extremely blunt) meaning, but after that... yeah. I think he would

because I think he'd want to, because he is attracted to Liu Qingge, he's just repressed about it. so I imagine his thought process would go:

-oh no I'm straight I can't sleep with Liu Qingge

-also this would be a terrible ethical violation because I'm his shixiong

-although as fellow peak lords we're basically equals so that probably doesn't matter so much

-I mean he is asking me after all it's not like I'm perving on him or anything here

-wow this is so deeply sad for Liu-shidi who has turned to me of all random people in his hour of need, only to be rejected

-is he sex pollen'd? he doesn't look it...

-I'm sure lots of people would jump at the chance to be with someone as handsome and capable as him! does he not know that? are people not jumping at the chance to be with him?

-I guess not if he's lonely?

-how incredibly stupid of them! the incomparable war god of bai zhan is a catch!

-this really is too tragic to tolerate. I can't possibly turn him down now, what if it's a blow to his pride that he never recovers from? a man needs his pride! gay men even more than most probably! that's what that whole gay pride thing is about, right?!

-so in a way it would be homophobic to reject him

-and well if it's just for one night... I mean, the truly heterosexual man should be comfortable in his sexuality... obviously I find the idea intolerable, however, it might be even more intolerable at this point to turn him down. for basic decency reasons that would compel anyone, not just me

-there are probably lesbians who would make an exception for Liu-shidi I mean just look at him

-and who is more confident in his dislike of oranges, the man who has tried one and confirmed his distaste, or the man who has never eaten an orange in his life? in a way, isn't having sex with Liu-shidi this one time actually the straightest thing I could do?

-(has sex with Liu Qingge)

-(enjoys it)

ALT

this is why scum villain is level 4 yaoi

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by a rare wife plot.

And it actually is a rare one because Airplane didn't even write this one down! He toyed with the idea before ultimately dismissing it as being too controversial for the tastes of his readers, and adapting only a few of the same elements for a subsequent chapter of PIDW.

But apparently the System can pull inspiration even from the author's thoughts, especially when there's nothing to contradict the concept and even a few threads of it still to be found in the original, and somehow Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of this previously-unwritten plot bunny.

The core concept was a cuck scenario, of all things. One of the Luo Binghe's wives gets afflicted by a poison that can only be cured by dual cultivation, but specifically can't be cured by by dual cultivation with anyone who has mastery over demonic qi. Something something conflicting energies, something bullshit something. Peerless Cucumber would have ripped the chapter to shreds if it had actually made it to publication, not just for the insult of implying that Luo Binghe should let one of his wives sleep with someone else, but also because why would Luo Binghe -- able to use both kinds of cultivation -- somehow not be able to keep his demonic energies from influencing the situation just in this one case?

Well it turns out that in his specific case it's because sex gets him too worked up to keep things strictly separate, and the degree of control required to treat the affliction whilst dual cultivating is extensive enough that even a little slip-up would be fatal.

Of course, in the actual chapter of PIDW, this same plot device was altered and used to create a harem orgy where Luo Binghe oversaw several of his wives "treating" one another's "afflictions", but Shen Qingqiu just had to go and get a fatal of dose of the more severe version (he didn't realize the risk, because again, this version didn't even make it into the novel).

Anyway, of course this ends up with Shen Qingqiu trying to figure out another way to cheat death, while Luo Binghe goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that he's just going to have to let someone else fuck his husband. This leads to an argument because of course Shen Qingqiu's not going to cheat on Luo Binghe, and he's especially not going to force one of his martial siblings to sleep with him, come on now, and Luo Binghe trying not to cry tears of blood while bringing himself to explain that a fair few of Shen Qingqiu's sect siblings would be happy volunteers for this task.

Shen Qingqiu's just like, well of course you think that, for some bizarre reason you think everyone wants to sleep with me. Bias is what it is. Really it's flattering Binghe but obviously every other person we know is straight, that's just statistics, and everyone in the entire cultivation world knows that Qi Qingqi would sooner chew glass than have sex with a man!

Luo Binghe, weeping now: Shizun please. This is serious. I need you speak words that make sense in the order you're saying them.

They argue, they reach an impasse, the clock is ticking. So Luo Binghe reluctantly turns to the most reliable source of information (outside of himself) on Manipulating Shen Qingqiu to Do Things That Are in His Own Best Interests -- Shang Qinghua.

At first Shang Qinghua is like, well I'm flattered Junshang but I don't think I could shoulder the baggage of fucking Cucumber-bro for you. But then Luo Binghe is like no I need someone who is way hotter and more capable than you, if Shizun is going to fuck someone else at my behest they're going to be TOP TIER so that when I fuck him better afterwards he's really impressed with me. Liu Qingge, obviously.

Not Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua asks? (He'd take the insult a little more personally but honestly he's just relieved that he's not being asked to navigate this social minefield.)

No, Luo Binghe says. He's not 100% sure he could beat Yue Qingyuan in a fight even to this day, which in his mind also translates to not being 100% sure he could do sex better than him either, so Yue Qingyuan is an emergency last resort. He's way more likely to cry on Shizun too and Shen Qingqiu is into that shit, it's too risky.

Alright, says Shang Qinghua, and he thinks about it, and then he comes up with the beautifully simple solution:

Luo Binghe has to fuck Liu Qingge first.

Because of course the crux of the issue is that even with permission, Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to cheat on Luo Binghe. But in the twisted annals of his mind, Luo Binghe himself is still entitled to a harem, even if Luo Binghe is also happily monogamous in this life. So if he shacks up with Liu Qingge first then Liu Qingge essentially joins Luo Binghe's harem, at which point of Shen Qingqiu sleeps with him it's not an affair, it's the gay version of those fanservice-y 3P scenes that the wives in PIDW did. Shang Qinghua translates the concept as best as he can to Luo Binghe, who -- though slightly dubious -- must accept that so far Shang Qinghua's wisdom hasn't steered him wrong with regards to his shizun's eccentricities.

Luo Binghe's mission: seduce Liu Qingge, or at least convince him to have sex, or possibly to lie and (convincingly!) tell Shen Qingqiu that they had sex. That last one is the longest shot so he'd probably going to have to just fuck him (Luo Binghe still underestimates how willing his husband is to believe that just about anyone would have sex with him).

Shang Qinghua's mission: convince Shen Qingqiu that he owes his husband steamy threeway gay sex or something so that this plan he pulled out of his ass doesn't backfire and get him killed.

Re:daily poll have we ever considered that Liu Mingyan (perfect wife for Binghe) is sqq's gender goals and Shen Qingqiu (always calm and collected perfect pretty boy RPF fodder) is lmy's gender goals. I think that would be a good dynamic

Mod @iamwestiec here with a fun little Friday surprise:

Lan Qiren FUCKS Flash Exchange

M & E-rated flash exchange

• Tag Nominations Open Now!
• Sign-ups Open at 6 PM GMT
• Noms & Sign-ups Close Apr 28
• Works Due & Revealed May 5
• Creators Revealed May 9

AO3 Collection & Rules | Tagset