Hello there. Been a minute since my last journal and just wanted to let people know that I am glad and appreciative to all that favorite and watch me for my works. I started writing to get things off my mind and actually developed more of a love for the craft to help increase my writing capabilities. Hell, people even paid me to write smut for them. That is hell of a wonderful thing.

However, some bad news. I am in a minor crisis mode. To not dive too deeply into detail, I have been through a bout of bad luck involving my place of residence. One thing breaks, than another, then another, then a pipe breaks, and then shit gets ruined, and oh whats that? More shit to deal with. I think I reached a point of balance a week or so ago and then during a rainstorm, water rushed into my bedroom due to a foundation issue. I never have been so angry and bitter and just mentally fatigued that I want to scream and honestly strangle the previous owner of my place. The hidden issues that are now making themselves apparent. Thankfully, I can do some fixes myself to mitigate cost but fuck, I do not want to wake up to hear something dripping behind the walls or hell, I reached the point of my brain thinking that I am hearing stuff. Plus getting hit with unseen costs. Like, I can handle that shit, but overtime my brain has fried and honestly writing has been so very hard that I have to pause.

I guess this is more of a venting post, but just know I will eventually get back to it but it will be slow going. I think I had been burning at both ends for so long that finally it came to a point where I just want to smoke something and pass the fuck out. Hell, there are moments when I just look outside and think "Hey, that asteroid is coming early."

I am sorry I am not as uplifting or friendly as I have been. I just am tired. I just want to wake up without worry that shit will collapse. I just want to rest without that feeling of anxiety creeping on me as I come back from work, pausing as I open the door because I have to brace myself in case I walk into water dripping from the ceiling with rotten sheetrock giving way (believe me, that was not a fun time. I think I didn't eat for two days because I barely remember that.)

Anyway, thank you for allowing me to vent. Again, I do appreciate your kind words for my stories and hope that this funk will pass.

Please try and find positive moments in your life. Its surprisingly powerful to keep on keeping on.