The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds Quotes

“When we do not heal, we allow our worst moments to define and shape us. We lose our ability to see the good in situations and people, enjoy the simple moments, persevere through conflict, and bring our best selves to our relationships.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“Our Society has become so sex seduced that we jump onto any trends that fill our passions and sexual appetites.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“aside from slavery and its legacy, the most destructive force that happened to our community was the crack cocaine epidemic. I don’t believe that people really understand how much we lost to crack cocaine.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“Many of us came from homes in which we did not feel loved during the adolescent years. It doesn’t mean we weren’t loved but we didn’t always feel it. Because of that, we may have searched for love in other areas and that also causes us to show up as clingy and needy in romantic relationships.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“Just as we have conditioned women to believe sex is the only way to achieve intimacy, we have raised men who value sexual pleasure over self-discipline.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“Today, I can see that this behavior made for a damaged, less than whole version of myself. Had I gone to therapy after a break up, I would have been able to delve into why these relationships meant so much to me and the feelings these break ups were bringing to the surface.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“Coming from an impoverished background may cause us to financially live in the moment. Our brain becomes wired to spend and societal pressures cause our lives to dwindle to prove we have money–that we have finally arrived.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“Church is a wonderful place but it also at times it has represented the worst of who we are.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

“Often when painful situations occur, we bury them down in our subconscious believing that if we do not think about them they will not harm us. For us, it often feels less painful if we don't have to think or talk about it. This is the absolute wrong way to manage pain because if we don't deal with our hurts they resurface in our relationships and wreak havoc causing us to harm the people who are closest to us. It may sound crazy but the saying is true that we hurt the ones who love us the most.”
― Nijiama Smalls, The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds