DHL Express = Comedy Show in 11 Acts
DHL Express = Comedy Show in 11 Acts
If you still live under the crushing illusion that life must be flawlessly planned, executed and controlled in order not to collapse, I recommend a new form of therapy. Forget yoga, meditation, one week in Bali. Just try DHL Express.
Within days you’ll learn a liberating truth: you can FFFF up at EVERY stage, mishandle EVERY process, stumble through EVERY possible scenario, and yet, nothing truly collapses. You survive, you carry on, you even “thrive.” Life’s margin of error is far larger than you think, and DHL is here to prove it.
My own "express” enlightenment:
Day 1–2: Drop off package for "1-day delivery". Nobody at the service point. Second attempt works. Package still not picked up until the end of the second working day - The show alreay began to unfold.
Day 3–5: Promised contact for customs clearance. No one calls. I call them. Told to send a one-line email despite of my clear doubt stated that they may need more info, but yeah insisted on "that's enough!" Next day: “problem.” and " we will reach out". Silence. Call again, rude answer, different requirement. Why not say this in the first place?
Day 6–9: Finally, package released after €30 ransom for my used 5-year-old glasses. Already nine days in.
Day 10: “Wrong address.” No call, no explanation. Delivery delayed again.
Day 11: At last, package delivered-not to my address, not to the Packstation I chose, but to some random box 3.7 km away. Genius.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is DHL “Express.” Eleven days of comedy that no playwright could invent. A company that charges a premium for performance theatre, not logistics.
Conclusion:
1) For me DHL is finished, I don't care if you care.
2) I will advise everyone I know to avoid your circus as long as dignity permits.
3) Not out of pique, but out of principle.
Because every euro paid to DHL is a vote for incompetence, disrespect and scammy mediocrity to prevail in society. And that, simply, is intolerable.
DHL, thank you for the absurd circus. And for everything else, my most elegant: FFFF Y!