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Peasant

@1500s-peasant-offical

She/her (Minor)

Gooday! I pray none of you are nobles, because I swear on my last sack of oats I am not paying tax just for speaking in this cursed place. I’ve already paid enough this week! For windows, for salt, and even for being unbetrothed.

Anyway. Since everyone is introducing themselves… here I am.

And before anyone starts whispering, I am a woman, yes. A fair maiden, I'd prefer. But I am NOT a witch.

However, if you behave suspiciously, rest assured I will sniff it out. I have an excellent eye for witches. I’ve found at least seven in my village! Three didn’t even know they were witches until I informed them. They’re welcome, truly.

I’m a simple-minded peasant woman. Give me a roof that doesn't leak, women neighbours who can't read, and a granary full of fresh, beautiful oats, and I can live happily enough. As long as no one sends rats into my house. I fear rats. And I fear plague.

I do hope this Officialverse lot is kinder than my village. Heaven knows I endure enough misery as it is. The least I deserve are decent neighbors

Not witches, not nobles, and absolutely not oat stealers.

Ooc:

Hi fellow neighbours and witch hunters!

So guys, we have to organize a farewell for our seniors soon, and we are going to present a little video, it's based on stuff like life of seniors as a video game, but I couldn't find anything to reference from the internet, so I thought... Why not create my own little snippet and give the editors that as a reference!

So before I send it to my class group, I would LOVEEE to have your opinion on it.

I am not really good at editing, like I have rarely ever edited anything, so I want your ideas and opinions!

Anonymous asked:

♎︎□︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎ ♋︎■︎⍓︎□︎■︎♏︎ ⬥︎♓︎⧫︎♒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ◻︎●︎♋︎♑︎◆︎♏︎ ♓︎ ■︎♏︎♏︎♎︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ♍︎□︎●︎●︎♏︎♍︎⧫︎♓︎□︎■︎

(Translation: do you know anyone with the plague i need it for my collection)

...and why did you think to come and ask me?

Seems kind of suspicious...

But I do know some devil's spawns! I'd be rather pleased to get rid of them!

They live in my granary without my permission or paying rent, they even eat away at my oats!

Here, I'll tell you their contact @the-rats-offical.

Anonymous asked:

Merry Christmas!

I have come bearing a present

-

Merry Christmas!

Pray tell, what gifts dost thou present?

And why dost thou not stay for a while and sip a few cups of tea?

The journey, I am sure, hath been a long one.

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Sure I'll stay for awhile! And tea sounds great

And your gift is well a boundle of stuff! Hot chocolate, a cute plushie, some fruit, chocolate

The journey was far but it's alright I like journeys!

What a surprise, dear! The gifts are fair yet thine thoughtfulness nicer still.

Dost thou know, I have a surprise to share with thee as well!

Now, what tea wouldst thou like to have? Indian milk tea, chamomile, or green?

Doth thou know, what happened yesternight?

An old man in his 70s, ran behind us children, with a stick, screaming at us curses and words too foul for me to utter here!

Our crimes? Playing merrily on the neighborhood streets... Such a blasphemy we commited, did we not?

And that is not it about that wretched slimy vermin, his son is a drunkard through and through, and we even had to have the city guards involved when he attacked us children just few days back!

I'm starting an Officalverse picnic tag game

I had a vision this would go well

We're doing a picnic!

Reblog with what you're bringing and tag some people!

My vision told me to bring plums!

Y'all better bring something to this picnic

I predict @/mothman-offical will bring the best food

I brought Chupa Chups! If you guys don't know what they are, it's a lollypop that you can make music with!

I'm bringing L&P, obviously

thanks for inviting me :]

im bringing jello cups!! (and bug spray)

Im bringing biscoffe cookies and cheesecake thanks for the invite

Some wench hath been stealing my oats! Pray tell me a way to get rid of that despicable witch!

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I'll come down, look around a bit to find some evidence and we'll catch that thief! :D

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I beg you to do so, for I am most woed! Hath it not been for her, I would have been most joyous right now.

Did you see who did It? Can you give me a name or description?

It was dusk, thus not much was visible to sight... But if I remember correctly, it was someone who came seeking a ghost! They asked me about the whereabouts of @ghosty-offical

Though, I did not provide any further information, I remember the entity telling me they are a goddess!

Such swindlers!

Boo
I heard my name so ive been summoned... oh you mean the gods? They stole oats from you..?
Kinda weird thing to steal.

Hello dearie! Long time no see.

Ah, yes. I do suspect the goddess to have stolen my oats. That is because I found my granary HALF-EMPTY just after she left!

Yeah it's been awhile!! I've been on a adventure

And oh yeah they do like to steal things but goddess? Did you only speak to one usually there is 2 more..

Only 1 spoke to me, while the rest 2 stood quietly by. And they looked quite busy amongst themselves, thus, I do not suspect them.

Some wench hath been stealing my oats! Pray tell me a way to get rid of that despicable witch!

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I'll come down, look around a bit to find some evidence and we'll catch that thief! :D

Avatar

I beg you to do so, for I am most woed! Hath it not been for her, I would have been most joyous right now.

Did you see who did It? Can you give me a name or description?

It was dusk, thus not much was visible to sight... But if I remember correctly, it was someone who came seeking a ghost! They asked me about the whereabouts of @ghosty-offical

Though, I did not provide any further information, I remember the entity telling me they are a goddess!

Such swindlers!

Boo
I heard my name so ive been summoned... oh you mean the gods? They stole oats from you..?
Kinda weird thing to steal.

Hello dearie! Long time no see.

Ah, yes. I do suspect the goddess to have stolen my oats. That is because I found my granary HALF-EMPTY just after she left!

The officalverse is just a lesson in surrealism. Satan is a 15 year old girl, a computer and its keyboard and mouse are in a platonic polycule, communism makes shitposts, there's grass yaouri, there's a guy only known as man who we're not sure is human but he has like 4 fridges and a family tree shaped like a ladder, and we're all just people

And EVERYONE is a minor, it's like a requirement

Does this mean I get kicked out in a month 😔

I mean Satan did say it was a requirement... start looking for an apprentice just in case.

And we can't forget a blog literally dedicated to... EGG. And one which is for shipping the officials together.

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