Pinned
a special treat for those of us who enjoy watching sam reich torture his friends and/or employees

Pinned
a special treat for those of us who enjoy watching sam reich torture his friends and/or employees
could you imagine being a man, a sis gender man, who is really into sounding other men. It's just the only way for you to get off really. But one day you meet a man that you really like, and you just connect with him on a whole other level. And you guys finally get to the point where not only are you in the bedroom with each other, but you're starting to get more open with each other too. About all the things like. The only issue is, is that this man is transgender. He does not have a penis he has never pursued any sort of bottom surgery. So he still has the whole set, the labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres. And he also has a urethra. Now he's willing to indulge in your special weird little thing. You're sounding. And you guys finally get to the bedroom and you have your little sounding pole or whatever it is they use. But you realize some thing very quickly. Do you know where the clitorises you know where the clitoris is, but where… Is the urethra? Riddle me this Batman
i've tried answering this ask in three different ways and each time it deleted whatever i added. labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres. Every time i try to find a new angle to work on this answer with i read another sentence that makes me wince so hard i forget 3/7ths of the english language. labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres. i literally am trying to think of any kind of response but verbally i keep repeating it. "labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres." it's like a spell. it's fucking addicting. it's the only way i know a human being sent it because that was for fucking sure speech to text happening right there for a single sentence. labia menorah menorah the majora Little China adequate Torres.
i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.
this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.
anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:
no you don't understand. i do international regulation of emerging technologies for a living. this WAS me stress dreaming about work
Found craigslist image John Baldessari’s painting - EVERYTHING IS PURGED FROM THIS PAINTING BUT ART, NO IDEAS HAVE ENTERED THIS WORK (1966)
c'est business
We must be respectful of all languages
Earthenware dog figurines, China, Han Dynasty, 2nd century AD
what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs
i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names
my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them
framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse
I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.
And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There's no new study that shows that it's unsafe, there's no replacement that's better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.
This is the most accurate vaccine schedule as laid out by the AAP, who have stated that they think JFKjr is bullshit: 
If you have a kid, either download this or print it and confirm with your pediatrician that this is what you want to follow.