Avatar

Professional Disaster

@ardentguilt / ardentguilt.tumblr.com

18+ CONTAINS NSFW (usually tagged
as such) Male Tealblood Rainbow drinker Mindfang.
CURRENT EVENT:
M!A: Cat 1 week
Perma M!A: ability to become a snake at will Mun has written an introductory guide to keeping bearded dragons as pets. j-bonner-books.com

FAQ

18+?

Yes. Mun is a 1994 baby and this is an 18+ blog as it will contain adult themes at times so no minors should follow and i MEAN THIS as there CAN absolutely be real legal consequences.

Any Specific tagging?

Yes. I tag common things that tend to freak people out and will tag things if asked to within reason.

i tag spiders as #spider snakes as #snake and insects as #bug or #insect.

As for me all i ask is that if i follow you that you tag skeletons, specifically human skeletons and skulls as that is something that will get to me. (Halloween on tungle is not a fun time for me ;-;)

I see you have animals? how many?

many. 2 cats, 2 central bearded dragons, 1 rescue bird and a LOT of fish.

I heard you wrote a book?

You heard right. i have written and had published an informative guide to keeping bearded dragons as pets which i wrote specifically to provide an easy to understand, vet approved and up to date beginner friendly guide to help give new or prospective dragon owners a good start point for learning about these amazing reptiles and their needs.

This book is available as a paperback or digital eBook and you can find it by searching 'Guide to Bearded Dragons as Pets by Jordan Bonner' on Amazon, Kobo, Apple Books or you can contact me directly to place an order if you dont want to give your $$$ to Apple or Amazon (IE i can input your shipping address into the printers order form and show you the cost then you can pay that via a Direct Transfer/PayID where i'll them put your order in directly to the print company who will send the book/s to your shipping address)

DUDE, why do you have a native bird in your house!?

Cricket is indeed an Australian Native Noisy Miner. He was orphaned as a nestling during a storm and rescued from stormwaters. Ideally he would have been raised to being able to fend for himself then re-released however his extremely young age, specific species and being a honeyeater tend to make for a very difficult re-release.

Cricket turned out non-releasable and as such would not survive in the wild without a flock. I am a holder of the required licencing and certifications to have his species and as such him staying with me is the best option for him as he can live out his lifespan comfortably in a safe enviromnent where i ensure he recieves ideal nutrition and appropriate space to stretch his wings and engage in as much normal behaviour as is possible.

The alternative to me keeping him would be effectively sentencing him to death in the wild through exposure, predation or death/injury through attacks from the already established and territorial flocks of Noisy Miners.

Minerals? SHINY ROCKS???

Yep I collect them. If you want to take a look at my collection all my posts of them are tagged as #my minerals

Can you tell us a bit about you?

Why not? I'm an aussie and a transman who's been on T since ~2017-ish. I am open about my identity as a transman and im always happy to answer questions about this, offer tips and advice to those newer to transitioning or who would like to start but dont know how to. All i ask is that if youre going to ask questions you remain polite and open minded (in other words dont be a bigotted asshat or you get the block)

Im a huge fan of animals, particularly the less conventionally cute and cuddly and hold certifications in Reptile Zoology, Herpetology (study of reptiles and amphibians), Zookeeping, Australian Native Wildlife Rescue and Wildlife Sustainability & Conservation.

Ideally i would love to eventually get into work in the rescue and rehabilitation side of things focused on Australia's native reptile species.

I already keep rescue bearded dragons to give those who need special help or rehoming a second chance that they may not otherwise get and through this i have experience in managing and treating various health concerns in these animals. I recently took in a now 12 month old (as of january 2025) dragon who needed rehoming and i have a now extremely elderly dragon i took in as a rescue back in 2018 in terrible condition who i have nursed back to as good a condition as is possible. This one is a real fighter and has made it through so much in his little life. As of january 2025 thig guy is an estimated 11 years old at MINIMUM with potential to be even older than that (amazing considering the usual captive lifespan is 10-12 years and this guy didnt have the best start to life), he's beated a very nasty tumor and due to his very old age is now blind, has arthritis in his feet and drools on one side of his mouth. He doesnt let this get him down and is amazingly still willing to excercise via swims in a warm bath. I hand feed him and assist him with his hydration nowdays as his blindness makes it difficult for him to find food and water unassisted.

So what about the other ancestors in Vin’s AU?

As has been established Vin is a bloodswapped Serket shifted one caste backward from the original characters. Here’s how the other ancestors work in his AU.

Handmaid -> red/mutant her title in this AU is ‘The Forgotten’ she’s something of a boogeyman figure here. Someone who may or may not be more than just a scary story.

She has power over ghosts/spirits and is associated with bringing vengeance down upon those who cross far over moral lines.

Signless -> rustblood His title in this AU is ‘The Scribe’. A mostly mild mannered teacher of sorts who’s main areas of expertise are cultural studies and ethics. Very open minded and accepting of other cultures and beliefs as far as trolls go, a collector of old books and artefacts.

HIC -> bronzeblood. Her title in this AU is ‘The Harvester’ she lives out in the farmlands where she grows primarily wheat and grains that is then supplied to mills and merchants. Confident in her abilities and outspoken, something that stirs up trouble from time to time. She dreams of running more than just her one little farm with aspirations to forge a produce farming empire headed by none other than herself, anyone who stands in the way of this may very well find themselves compost if they’re not careful.

Dualscar -> Goldblood his title is ‘The Slaver’ most golds get put into service as living batteries or go into technological fields where their psiionics can be put to use. This guy however managed to weasel his way out of service and instead sells out his own kind to the Empire in exchange for his own freedom. A sleazy douchebag who thinks he’s the hottest thing this side of the universe with a ruthless streak wider than the Mariana Trench is deep. He would sell you out for a single Dorito.

GHB -> Oliveblood his title is ‘the Shepherd’ a beefy guy who knows how to live off the land if need be. He farms various livestock that provides goods such as meat, hides, milk and such to various merchants and industries in the capital. A man of few words, in fact nobody’s really sure if he knows how to speak to begin with. There’s a rumor that he was raised by a herd of goats rather than an actual lusus but so far nobody’s been brave enough to ask whether this is true.

Darkleer -> Jadeblood his title is ‘The Caregiver’. A rare male Jadeblood who works in the caverns with the young who have completed their first pupation and are awaiting their turn in the cavern trials. A gentle giant with a surprisingly delicate touch for his muscular figure. When not caring for the wrigglers he enjoys tinkering in his workshop where he makes tiny clockwork animal figures for his charges.

Mindfang/Vin -> tealblood Vin is a tealblood who was initially recruited to the Imperial army where he grew to question the legitimacy of what he was being ordered to do. This got him 'volunteered' as a test subject in a project aiming to use the specific gene mutation responsible for Rainbowdrinkers to create a 'supersoldier'. Through this process Vin, despite being a tealblood, ended up a rainbowdrinker. The projects first and ONLY success as he ensured the complete destruction of the facility and research notes during his escape. He is on the run from his home timeline and worked Multiverse security for a number of sweeps before switching gears and becoming a bartender for a newly opened nightclub that caters to all number of species and is run by a certain Roxy Lalonde, his often times partner in mischief.

Redglare -> ceruleanblood her title is ‘The Skypirate’ while most gamblignants prowl the seas this one roams the skies on the back of her dragon lusus. She uses the aerial advantage to drop in on ships and caravans from above, the element of surprise catching her paydays off guard. Ruthless and agile she’s proving a big thorn in the empires side with her favourite targets being imperial convoys. A portion of what is looted is often later dropped over lowblood populated areas making her something of a Robin Hood figure, praised by the less fortunate and loathed by those who hold all the power.

Dolorosa -> indigoblood her title is ‘the Overseer’ an armourer for the imperial army and an expert at the forge. The weapons, mechanical prosthetics and armour she crafts are of the highest quality and much sought after, wealthy highbloods often commission intricately detailed and ornate pieces. A large and muscular figure who’s just at home swinging a hammer a the forge as she is swinging her toothed blade on the battlefield.

Disciple -> purpleblood her title is ‘The Ringmistress’ Judge, Jury and Executioner for the crown. Trials she presides over are a circus. Literally. She puts on family fun for all ages with promises of all the blood and gore a wriggler can dream of. The verdict is always guilty and the sentence is also death. Mostly via being eaten by lions.

Psiionic -> violetblood his title is ‘The Administrator’ an arrogant beanpole of a man who’s kingdom is of the digital sort. A master of electronic surveillance ensuring all citizens are staying in line and loyal to the emperor. A man who’s rarely seen but who sees all.

Summoner -> fuschiablood his title ‘the imperial beastlord’ he took the throne at a young age having bested his predecessor with the aid of his well developed psionic influence over wildlife. Initially a decent ruler who gradually became changed by power and is now determined to hold onto his crown no matter the cost or lines that must be crossed.

Playlist of voiceclaim for the various Vin alts:

Mutant -> I Prevail - Stuck In Your Head

Rust -> Zeromancer - My Little Tragedy

Bronze -> Reignwolf - Keeper

Gold -> Art Of Dying - Best Won’t Do

Olive -> Muse - Feeling Good

Jade -> Boston Manor - Foxglove

Teal -> Adelitas Way - Notorious

Cerulean -> Alestorm - Shit Boat

Indigo -> Billy Idol - Rebel Yell

Purple -> Blue Stahli - Corner

Violet -> Emil Bulls - You Shoukd See Me In A Crown

Fuschia -> Innerpartysystem - Don’t Stop

((Edited the about to reflect some changes to Vin’s design.

Summary is more reptile like traits.

Teeth - fused directly to his jawbones.

Aesthetic change - collapsible ‘sail’ along his spine that’s usually folded flat however can be extended for a range of reasons such as a warning, an emotional response, arousal etc. this ‘sail’ is a similar structure to the ‘sail’ of a sailfin dragon however has the coloration of the throat fan of a fan throated lizard. Coloration can be dulled or brightened as required. Below are images of a sailfin dragon and fan throated lizard for visual reference.))

((So i can’t remember if I detailed Vin’s new ability yet so here we go.

Basically it’s a slightly altered version of a vampire’s ‘glamour’ ability. So like a temporary manipulation of sorts.

Theres the limitation that it required initial direct eye contact and wears off after a 24 hour period.

During this he can make demands of the victim and they will follow the demands as if willingly. After the effect wears off they clearly remember vague details but as for the actions they took as far as they remain aware said actions were entirely of their own accord.

The effect can be broken early however if Vin is subjected to an appropriate amount of contact with silver as the metal disrupts rainbowdrinker abilities and by extension any currently active manipulations.))

tagged by: fell victim to the below specification

tagging: the poor unfortunate soul reading this

bold applies

bold italic verse dependent

WEALTH

$  FINANCIAL : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty 
✚  MEDICAL : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable 
✪  CLASS OR CASTE : upper / middle / working / street trash / slave / unsure 
✔  EDUCATION : post secondary / high school / drop out / military training / trade training / self taught
✖  CRIMINAL RECORD : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / hasn’t been caught 

FAMILY

◒  CHILDREN : has a child or children / has no children / wants children / verse dependent
◑  RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased / close with parent(s) / not close with parent(s) / has no parents / parent(s) are deceased
◔  AFFILIATION : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

♦  extroverted / introverted / in between
♦  disorganized / organized / in between
♦  close-minded / open-minded / in between 
♦ calm / anxious / in between
♦  disagreeable / agreeable / in between 
♦ cautious / reckless / in between 
♦ patient / impatient / in between
♦ outspoken / reserved / in between 
♦  leader / follower / in between 
♦ empathetic / unempathetic / in between
♦  optimistic / pessimistic / realist / in between
♦  traditional / modern / in between
♦ hard-working / lazy / in between
♦  cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown
♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown 
♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

BELIEFS

★  FAITH : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / it’s complicated / 
☆  BELIEF IN GHOSTS OR SPIRITS : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care 
✮  BELIEF IN AN AFTERLIFE : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
✯  BELIEF IN REINCARNATION : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
❃  BELIEF IN ALIENS : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care 
✧  RELIGIOUS : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious / questioning /
❀  PHILOSOPHICAL : yes / no

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

❤  SEXUALITY : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual
❥  SEX : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless 
♥  ROMANCE : romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless
❣SEXUALLY  : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / inhibited
⚧  POTENTIAL SEXUAL PARTNERS : male / female / other / none / all
⚧  POTENTIAL ROMANTIC PARTNERS : male / female / other / none / all

ABILITIES

☠  COMBAT SKILLS : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none  
≡  LITERACY SKILLS : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none
✍  ARTISTIC SKILLS : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none 
✂  TECHNICAL SKILLS :  excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

HABITS

☕  DRINKING ALCOHOL :  never / sometimes / frequently / to excess
☁  SMOKING : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess
✿  OTHER NARCOTICS : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess
✌  MEDICINAL DRUGS : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess
☻  INDULGENT FOOD : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess
$  SPLURGE SPENDING : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess
♣  GAMBLING : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

You’d always dreaded this moment. The moment when you were taken into a higher ups office to go over your background when you’d applied for this job.

Of course they couldn’t find anything about you when they’d checked. Almost as if you’d never existed before you popped up in this timeline a few sweeps ago.

Even as your pusher races so hard it could tear through your chest you remind yourself what the barkbeast human had said, that this timeline was safe, a refuge for those running from danger. That you didn’t need to lie here.

It isn’t long before they ask you about how you became what you were, a very unique sort of mutant. And that was the question that would potentially get you culled. But you’ve come this far so it’s too late to back out now.

You explain how you’d joined the Imperial Beastmaster’s infantry. You were fresh out of pupation, young and stupid, looking for adventure.

How you’d fought your way up the ranks, climbing over the corpses of your colleagues to end up assigned to an advance unit.

How you’d lost your arm and your eye to a dragonlike beast, flesh, fire and metal twisted over blackened bone, eyes that burned like the alternian sun.

You go through how you’d refused a direct order one too many times, how you’d been thrown into a cell upon returning to the capital.

You didn’t know how long you were kept there, being broken down bit by bit until you were drugged.

How you’d woken up strapped to a steel slab, passed off to the Emperor’s scientific division as a test subject in their research into creating a sort of super soldier based off the rainbowdrinker mutation.

You describe the procedure, or at least what you remembered of it, a machine wielding hundreds of syringes, all pressed into your veins, pumping you full of a burning substance.

You pause for a few moments then before continuing to how you’d ‘woken’ still strapped to that table, hungry like you’d never been before.

How the wound in your chest had knot itself back together before your eyes, how the guards had forced your head back as a scientist tipped blood down your throat.

You come to the end of your story now, explaining that you’d been their first, and to your knowledge, only success. That they had no idea what to expect and thus weren’t equipped to securely hold you.

You detail your breakout, how you’d taken out anyone and everyone that stood in your way and fled the timeline.

And then you do something you’d never planned to, you explain that because of that you’d become your home timelines number one most wanted fugitive, and you beg. You beg for this troll to keep quiet about your story, to not send you back, to just give you this chance to do some good.

And to your admitted surprise they reach out and place a hand in your shoulder, assuring you that your story was safe, that they’d simply note down it was a defect in your pupation.

((And all the headcanons for you too >:3c ))

Avatar

⌆ a nervous tic or habit they doLip chewing, flicking her thumbs as if flipping an invisible coin, chewing knuckles.⏀ describe their usual smileSlightly lopsided on the left, somewhat awkward looking. She doesn’t smile all that much so when she does it may appear forced or barely noticeable.⇅ do they look up or down while thinking?Down and slightly to the right, furrows brow.❧ describe their usual sleeping positionShe has many, mainly curled up on her left side when cold, stretched out flat on her back when hot or stretched out on her stomach with her arms above her head when feeling unwell.✑ describe something they like without naming itIt can be expensive, can be made using differing methods and can be served in many ways, She prefers it served with ice so as to better enjoy the flavours.✜ what’s their posture like in a normal situation?When relaxed she slouches slightly. Leans heavier on her left side than the right, walks with a slight limp. Always tensed up, doesn’t understand the concept of complete relaxation.❖ describe their handsStrong grip, scarred due to line of work, rough. Really needs to take better care of her hands.❞ write a quote they would find themselves saying“It’s only illegal if you get caught.”§ how would their hair gray? or would they lose their hair first?Her hair would grey, likely not noticeable at first as it would begin as only a few strands here and there. It would progress in patches before eventually turning completely grey, though more a ‘salt and pepper’ grey.❤ describe how they show affection.Offering to beat the fuck outta anyone who upsets or harms who she cares about, buying small gifts throughout the year, bringing flowers once a week, letting her guard down around you.✭ what is one of their favorite items?She likely will never admit it but her favourite item is the squiddle plush her wife got her as a gift last christmas.

Sponsored

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.