What better way to vent frustrations than through a shitpost

If you want to find the art that’s tagged as mature it’s linked HERE

my "blood arouses me a normal and not at all perverted amount" t-shirt is raising a lot of questions at the blood donor center that are already answered by the t-shirt

as someone with a bachelor’s degree in english, i am inexpressibly tired of people telling me to get highly specific jobs that often require highly specific degrees. “just go write for a magazine!” you need a journalism degree for that. “just teach!” you need a teaching certificate, and also fuck you. “just go work at a tutoring place!” tutoring children with learning disabilities, which make up the majority of the clientele at those places, requires not only a teaching certificate but a specialized master’s degree. “just go work at a library!” you need a master’s degree in library science to be a librarian. it is actually a highly skilled and extremely competitive field. you don’t just “go work at a library,” you train for years in the vain hope that you will get one of handful of available jobs. “just go work at a library.” the nerve. the unmitigated gall. “just go work at a library.” ugh.

serious question, what can you do with a bachelor’s in english? 

take you in a fistfight, that’s for damn sure

My boyfriend, again blending together fanfiction tropes: So what if when you finally find your soulmate, that’s when you discover if you’re alpha or omega, right?

Me, hands shaking as I frantically search for pen & paper: KEEP TALKING

Me: Seems hellish

Boyfriend: So does being an ant person

Me: Again, baby, they’re not ants

Boyfriend: YES THEY ARE. They communicate via pheromones— LIKE ANTS.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing….

Boyfriend: You could trick them into following orders and thinking they’re dead by spraying them with a spritz bottle. I think they need a queen.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing…. Seems hellish!

Boyfriend: Not really. If being around the other person is what triggers the changes, if you want to go back to normal… all you need to do is leave.

Me, writing: (You found your soulmate. It’s changing you in scary ways. All you need to do is leave… how difficult would it be to leave? What pressures exist to stay?)

Boyfriend: So these ant-people—

Me: OMEGAVERSE IS NOT ANTS!!!!!!

this reminds me of the time i was telling my husband about AUs and the popular ones being coffee shops and flower shops, and the first thing out of his mouth was “oh, so they could have stores across the street from each other, and it would be one selling shirts and the other sells pants” and i said “DO YOU MEAN LIKE TOPS AND BOTTOMS?” and he said “yeah!” with zero prior understanding of why i was reacting the way i did.

I'm gonna go check on my WIP. just in case it wrote itself while I was gone. You never know.

The Residence | Season 1 (2025), Paul William Davies

I scrolled past this without second thought. Paused. Thought, wait, I've never seen a crane on the road. Scrolled back up. No answers. Typed this response, then noticed the book's author. What a whirlwind

"average Hellenistic warlord named three cities after himself" factoid actually just statistical error. the median Hellenistic warlord named one city after himself. Alexander III of Macedon, noted disaster bisexual and conqueror of the Achaemenid Empire, was an outlier and should not be counted.

Chapter 8 - 43

bye bye biscuit!

The best shot of the year

Those in the notes worried about this being AI, it's not - her name is Pan Xiaoting and she's a badass billiards pro

you cannot save me!! i am unsaveable!!! i have never been saved!!!!!!!!

what the hell are you doing. stop that.

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

consider the coconut

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

This post is a journey

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!

Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

I MEAN where’s the lie

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

This thread goes every which way and is a glorious thing begat by Tumblr.

Hestia, who brought the weed and has been quiet this whole time, suddenly, but with forceful conviction: IT DOESNT HAVE TEATS IT JUST SWEATS MILK. she nods sagely before collapsing into giggles

I’m so in love with this

Hello so in love with this, I’m Dad!

Dad^bot^1. 👻 Booooo | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!

JUNIOR WORLD CHAMPIONS HELL YEAH!!!!!

JUNIOR WORLD CHAMPIONS HELL YEAH!!!!!