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greedy little homosexual

@astrallouis / astrallouis.tumblr.com

alex || he/him || 24 || gay trans guy || this blog is for whatever the hell my brain decides it’s for || icon by jigsawtapes

Stammer goes on an adventure || WSH @ NSH, 11.1.26

[Video ID: Steven Stamkos, NSH91, dashes for the puck towards the Washington net. Charlie Lindgren, WSH79, charging out of his net, uses his stick to deliver a poke check to Stamkos between his legs. Stamkos goes flying, doing a cartwheel in the air before landing neatly on his arm, protecting himself from major injury. The video replays from another angle to show Stamkos's acrobatics.]

i think about the bats being on gotham socials all the time. dick and jason are so glad that they were robin before the time that everyone had a high quality camera with internet access in their pockets bc there would be so many embarrassing videos out there of them. have you ever gone running with a 6'3 man when you're only 4'9? It's extremely undignified. you are not keeping up. see you at the arrest batman dont mind me i'll be taking 5 steps for every one of yours.

there's a video somewhere (twitter? youtube) that Jason loves dearly that's of nightwing booking it after some goon with Batman pelting behind them and then robin (tim) bringing up the rear pretty far back. and the videographer is hollering at him "MAN YOU NEED A 5 HOUR ENERGY! PICK UP THE PACE HUP HUP HUP HE'S GETTING AWAY HUP HUP HUP GET THOSE KNEES UP MAN!!!" and then as robin keeps lagging behind (because he is 5'1, and simply does not have the legspan to keep up) the videographer goes "AW DUDE IT'S ALRIGHT... YOU AINT NEVER GONNA CATCH THEM JUST GO SIDDOWN... GO GET A BATBURGER MAN..." and then they start to lower their camera and they say quietly "man it's making me sad just lookin at him" and the video ends. jason searches it up at least once a month and laughs until he cries.

"just go to a food pantry"

"get a second job"

"start your own garden"

"stop buying name brand"

"don't get your nails done"

"learn to budget"

"live within your means"

Temporary individualistic fixes will never solve systemic issues! God forbid EVERYONE eats and not just me!!

rolling snake eyes is a bad thing. being a snake in the grass is a bad thing. being cold-blooded is a bad thing. the english language is so fucking hostile for snakes why do you hate us so bad

NOT TO MENTION snake oil salesmen are famously sketchy. why do you hate our oils

really funny character concept i will definitely be using some day: oil salesman who is a snake. introduced as a snake oil salesman

he's a painfully honest and sincere oil salesman. he's not selling miracle cures he's telling you exactly what it is. and what it is, is oil. he's got olive oil coconut oil corn oil. every kind of oil you can think of

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