Star Wars AU centered on an Inquisitor who joined the Dark Side because he hates Anakin Skywalker almost as much as Vader does.

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Vader: "Anakin Skywalker was weak. I destroyed him!"

Inquisitor kneels, tears in his eyes: "Ugh, he was the fucking worst! I'm glad someone finally kicked the shit out of him like he deserved!"

Vader: ". . . Uh."

Inquisitor: "Obviously, I'm in for whatever you're doing here. Any enemy of that prick is okay in my book!"

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Vader keeps looking for reasons to kill him, but he is frustratingly the most competent and loyal in the entire Inquisition. Because the true secret to power among the Sith is just an intense hatred of Anakin Skywalker.

More Incorrect Star Wars quotes, again!

Anakin to the Council: Where is all this hate coming from? You guys tell me I’m the best all the time!

<cut> Rex: You’re the best, General!

<cut> Rex: You’re the best, General!

<cut> Rex: General Skywalker, you’re the best!

Anakin: . . . Y’know, that might just be Rex.

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Anakin: The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where blood is SUPPOSED to be!

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Anakin: Master, we just caught a serial killer! I’ve wanted to do that since I was four years old!

Kenobi: That’s troubling.

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Rex: Welcome to the 501st, General. I'm Captain Rex.

Pong Krell: And I'm not interested. I have no use for clones. I find clones weird and confusing. I live my life by numbers. You see this watch? It tells me how many calories I burn at any time. Question- how many calories do you think I burned walking from there to there? You, clone closest to me.

Dogma: Oh! Uh, three?

Pong Krell: Three?! Haaaa ha-ha-ha! Try 0.8, numbnuts! I made promises to my superiors that I most certainly cannot keep. That's why I need you idiots to work twice as hard- no, no! Strike that! Four times as hard! No, no no! Strike that! I NEED YOU MORONS TO WORK EIGHT TIMES HARDER THAN YOU'VE EVER WORKED, IN YOUR ENTIRE LIVES! I'm having a heart attack. Yep, I'm having a heart attack. . . Get back to work.

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Ahsoka: Name one thing Rex can do that I can’t!

Anakin: Roller skate like an angel?

Ahsoka: Whore! I’m great at skating! Or have you forgotten Barris Offee’s fourth grade birthday party?

Anakin: I have definitely forgotten that. Can you look exactly like this Rex decoy I hired?

Cut-up: Sup?

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Ahsoka to Cut-up: If you’re going to pose as me, you need a little more Beyonce swagger. . . Alright, working with what you got, I guess.

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Ahsoka: On the bright side, you got Masters Kenobi and Skywalker off their hunger strike. 

Mace Windu: I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard.

Ahsoka: Yeah, they’re animals.

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Kenobi: Normally, it’d be our word against theirs, but luckily the Clones were all wearing body cams! 

Anakin: You see, Master, the thing about cameras is that they don’t really tell the whole objective truth. Images can be distorted. People can appear naked.

Kenobi: What are you talking about?

Rex: General Skywalker is completely nude in the footage, sir.

Kenobi: WHY?!

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Anakin: Baba-booie! Cornholio! . . . And that’s it for my prepared remarks. Any questions?

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Kenobi: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Anakin: In my defense, Ahsoka bet me 5 credits that I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Kenobi: That’s not what. . . You drank shampoo? 

Anakin: . . . No. You’re the one farting bubbles.