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Cloth

@cloth-official / cloth-official.tumblr.com

A rp blog

Willoh? Did you perchance get involved with the bee mafia? Asking for a friend.

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Hey, uhh... why don't we take a step outside for a moment?

*Cut to the Marrow*

*Shaking Cloth over the lava* Who told you, huh? Who told ya I was involved with the beefia? Lemme tell you, if you went up to the- *This goes on for several minutes*

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Look Willoh, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time! I'll keep quiet, I swear! Just, don't drop me into lava! I was concerned, nothing more, nothing less! I'll keep quiet, promise!

Hi! I dug up this old recipe. Think I should make it?

*You are passed a slate journal*

Ingredients: 1 liter City of Tears water, 1 liter Mount Fay water, 1 liter saline, 1 liter Deepnest water, 1 liter Godhome water, 1 liter High Halls water, 1 liter spa water, 1 liter Bellhart eggnog, 1 liter pollip poison, 1 liter roach brine, 1 liter muckmaggot water, 1 liter fly spit, 1 liter Karak water, 1 liter vintage nectar, 1 liter mossberry stew, 1 liter flea brew, 1 liter Isma's acid, 1 liter Unn's acid, 1 liter Haddeh drugs, 1 liter Void, 1 liter Infection, 1 liter Lifeblood (unfiltered), 1 liter plasmium (filtered), 1 bottle Grimmkin flames, 1 fistful, silken dregs, 1 liter lava, Surstromming.

Instructions: Pour all ingredients into pot. Mix well. Serve.

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...That seems like the most intense poison ever. You would die. No joke. Do not.

oh shit it's that weird-ass recipe she had that turned her into a higher being, I am not letting her have this

In fact, I'm destroying this so no poor soul gets killed.

(Cloth places the journal on the ground, before slamming her club down full force, breaking it)

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Wha- HEY!

*Willoh takes out her greatnail/butcher's knife and a frying pan, charging up a great slash while holding Heavy Blow and Fragile Strength*

You break my recipe, I break your knees!

Shit!

(Cloth swings her club at Willoh (rolled a 3), before she fucking books it)

@tiso-official HELP WILLOH'S CHASING ME DOWN!

(Rolled a 9 to hit, on 3/5 masks to 3/5 masks)

Ow!

(Cloth keeps booking it, not wanting to fight an ally and not wanting to, y'know, get her ass beat)

Hi! I dug up this old recipe. Think I should make it?

*You are passed a slate journal*

Ingredients: 1 liter City of Tears water, 1 liter Mount Fay water, 1 liter saline, 1 liter Deepnest water, 1 liter Godhome water, 1 liter High Halls water, 1 liter spa water, 1 liter Bellhart eggnog, 1 liter pollip poison, 1 liter roach brine, 1 liter muckmaggot water, 1 liter fly spit, 1 liter Karak water, 1 liter vintage nectar, 1 liter mossberry stew, 1 liter flea brew, 1 liter Isma's acid, 1 liter Unn's acid, 1 liter Haddeh drugs, 1 liter Void, 1 liter Infection, 1 liter Lifeblood (unfiltered), 1 liter plasmium (filtered), 1 bottle Grimmkin flames, 1 fistful, silken dregs, 1 liter lava, Surstromming.

Instructions: Pour all ingredients into pot. Mix well. Serve.

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...That seems like the most intense poison ever. You would die. No joke. Do not.

oh shit it's that weird-ass recipe she had that turned her into a higher being, I am not letting her have this

In fact, I'm destroying this so no poor soul gets killed.

(Cloth places the journal on the ground, before slamming her club down full force, breaking it)

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Wha- HEY!

*Willoh takes out her greatnail/butcher's knife and a frying pan, charging up a great slash while holding Heavy Blow and Fragile Strength*

You break my recipe, I break your knees!

Shit!

(Cloth swings her club at Willoh (rolled a 3), before she fucking books it)

@tiso-official HELP WILLOH'S CHASING ME DOWN!

Hi! I dug up this old recipe. Think I should make it?

*You are passed a slate journal*

Ingredients: 1 liter City of Tears water, 1 liter Mount Fay water, 1 liter saline, 1 liter Deepnest water, 1 liter Godhome water, 1 liter High Halls water, 1 liter spa water, 1 liter Bellhart eggnog, 1 liter pollip poison, 1 liter roach brine, 1 liter muckmaggot water, 1 liter fly spit, 1 liter Karak water, 1 liter vintage nectar, 1 liter mossberry stew, 1 liter flea brew, 1 liter Isma's acid, 1 liter Unn's acid, 1 liter Haddeh drugs, 1 liter Void, 1 liter Infection, 1 liter Lifeblood (unfiltered), 1 liter plasmium (filtered), 1 bottle Grimmkin flames, 1 fistful, silken dregs, 1 liter lava, Surstromming.

Instructions: Pour all ingredients into pot. Mix well. Serve.

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...That seems like the most intense poison ever. You would die. No joke. Do not.

oh shit it's that weird-ass recipe she had that turned her into a higher being, I am not letting her have this

In fact, I'm destroying this so no poor soul gets killed.

(Cloth places the journal on the ground, before slamming her club down full force, breaking it)

Willoh is back, and in full gremlin form!

*Willoh emerges from the ground somewhere in Pharloom, looking around and eventually finding a group of bugs she recognizes (@cloth-official, @masterofthistroupe, @little-ghost-the-shade-lord, @spiralthewitchvessel, @hollowpostinfection, @traitor-lord-official, @quirrel-official, and @seekers-of-thy-gods)

Hello? I just... ugh... I have the WORST headache... what happened to me? The last two weeks are a haze, and the last thing I remember clearly was drinking that cool soup...

(Cloth looks over at the now-normal Willoh, and almost drops her club in relief, before realizing that this is the one chance to make sure that never happens again)

Willoh! You're alive! After you drank that concoction, you were sick for the entire 2 weeks since! We've been worried! Right guys?

please don't tell her I don't wanna deal with something like that ever again

*Willoh materializes in front of Cloth*

Hello- what- why do you run from Us? *Grabs Cloth and drags her back*

*Through gritted teeth* We were simply wondering... if You knew any delicacies of Your tribe. We are looking for meals for Our banquet.

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(Cloth makes a very loud screech as she's picked up, dropping her club as well)

Ah!

(She takes a few deep breaths to try to calm down, raising her hands in surrender while speaking quite fast)

You want food from my tribe, yes? I may not remember much of it, but I do remember most of my favorite meals were served with a sap dipping sauce. Does that help?

please don't eat me Willoh I'm sorry for all the times I bonked you and denied you food...

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Ow, Our ears.

Why would We consume your flesh?

We are not interested in the consumption of bugs, not without their permission.

But We shall take your recommendations into account. Thank you.

*Dematerializes*

*Rematerializes for a split second to place a pink ribbon on Cloth's head*

*Giggles, then dematerializes*

...Oh thank Wyrm...

(She adjusts the ribbon on her head, turning it into a bow and placing it back to fit better)

*Willoh materializes in front of Cloth*

Hello- what- why do you run from Us? *Grabs Cloth and drags her back*

*Through gritted teeth* We were simply wondering... if You knew any delicacies of Your tribe. We are looking for meals for Our banquet.

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(Cloth makes a very loud screech as she's picked up, dropping her club as well)

Ah!

(She takes a few deep breaths to try to calm down, raising her hands in surrender while speaking quite fast)

You want food from my tribe, yes? I may not remember much of it, but I do remember most of my favorite meals were served with a sap dipping sauce. Does that help?

please don't eat me Willoh I'm sorry for all the times I bonked you and denied you food...

Willoh becomes a Higher Being

*Willoh is sitting in her room in the Exhaust Organ, mixing together various liquids*

One liter of this... one liter of that... (ingredients: water from City of Tears, water from Mount Fay, water from Pale Lake, maggot water, spa water, Isma's grove acid, Unn acid, flea brew, mossberry stew, fog juice, pollip heart venom, bloatroach bile, roach brine, nightmare flames, silk dregs from GMS's cocoon, pure soul extracted from Kingsoul, soul from Groal's hut, Infection juice, pure writhing void, unfiltered lifeblood, Plasmium, the Cult of Haddeh drugs, slab fly spit, vintage nectar, regular nectar, honey from the Hive, mossberry stew, Bellhart eggnog, rancid egg yolk, rancid egg whites, and, most importantly, a garnish of Surströmming.)

*The liquid contained within Willoh's cauldron looks like a forming galaxy, a chaotic and frenzied mix of ordinary fluids, foods, and the essence of gods*

Now a quick stir... *begins humming the Grimm Troupe's melody while she works*

And it's DONE! My delightful conconction! Now for a taste test...

*Drinks the entire cauldronful of magical elixir*

AHHH- ooh, how splend- AH! IT's- quite delic- O0h... I feel... slpendin- AHH- tasty! *This goes on for several minutes, as Willoh's insatiable hunger and iron stomach combat the raw, ancient power of whatever this stuff is called (comment your suggestions)*

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH- *Willoh begins to transform. Her neck bends, her maw widens, her eyes become a misty grey and she gets an extra two pairs, her shell splits and legs contract into a new form, showing the swirling sphere of devouring contained within her stomach, and Willoh's crest expands violently and materializes behind her, in a similar fashion to the Radiance's sundial*

I... WE... HAVE BECOME AN ASCENDED... A... A HIGHER.... BEING....

Hey Willoh what are you do...ing...

(Freezes in place, gripping her club tight, and tries to act tough despite her obvious fear)

Y'know what? I gotta go do something! Yeah, yeah! Be right back!

(Runs away)

Anonymous asked:

NO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO COOK AND EAT ME I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY JOB

-Butler Anon

Wha- I was NOT (glancing worriedly at @cloth-official) I was NOT cooking you. I was just... giving you a bath in this cooking pot shaped hot tub!

*Literally laying Jeeves 2.0 down on a cutting board as we speak*

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WILLOH NO!

(removes butler anon from cutting board)

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT EATING PEOPLE? ESPECIALLY NOT UPPER-CLASS ONES! DO YOU WANT TO GET INTO LEGAL TROUBLE?

@lurienthewatcherofficial Sorry about her... and sorry that I can't bring your butler back. I'm in Pharloom and can't break space-time.

Hornet.

Have you eaten anything since that stew you ate?

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The moment I see you again in person I am teaching you how to properly cook. I will hear no complaints, young lady.

I can- ow- teach her how to cook!

Willoh, if she does take you up on that offer, I'll be overseeing things so you don't eat anyone. This is non-negotiable.

*Extends neck through a pipe system from behind you, with a greatnail in hand*

(whispering to self quietly) "just hold still, just hold still, just hold still for five seconds and let me eat you... just HOLD STILL!"

*Attempted chomp, rolled 2d6, got 9)

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SON OF A-

(rolled Offense 1d12 1d6, rolled 5! 4/6 masks to ?/? masks. No exhaustion penalty.)

AGH-! Oh, fucking hell man what in the Citadel’s face are you?! Beat up one pest and now another’s taking bites outta me?!

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HEY! OW!

*Hefts and swings greatnail/butcher's knife*

(rolled Offensive 2d6, rolled a 7! 3/4 masks left to 4/6 masks. OOC how does exhaustion penalty work, assuming there's none here?)

Cmon! I prepared a whole nice pot of acid and boiled it with flintstone from Deep Docks! It took hours because I needed a lot of acid! Just die quietly and let me cook you!

(rolled Guard 2d8, rolled 11! Undercrank takes no damage and no exhaustion. UC has 4/6 masks and Willoh has 3/4…?)

*Jack ducks into his shell as the greatknife bangs off him.*

Woo! That’s a spicy- ack!

Hey! Open that shell!

*Clang clang*

Ugh, must you make everything so difficult!?

(Using turn to eat mushrooms, healing 1 mask while waiting for shell to open. Masks at 5/5 or something IDK)

WILLOH! huf huf FINALLY! huf huf STOP TRYING TO EAT PEOPLE! STOP THIS NONSENSE NOW OR I'LL GET INVOLVED!

Anonymous asked:

Willoh.

I will have cloth come hit you again.

STOP EATING PEOPLE FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Come and stop me.

*On her way to eat an Underworker*

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Willoh. No! (Lightly hits with club) No eating people!

*Bonks back with a greatnail lightly*

I CAN EAT WHAT I WANT, SCARY BUG WITH CLUB!

*Scurries away*

Where did she get a greatnail?! HEY! GET BACK HERE! @tiso-official HELP ME SUBDUE HER! (Chases after Willoh)

OI! WILLOH!

*Scrambles to cloth’s side.*

@quirrel-official WE MIGHT NEED ANOTHER HAND!

What's going on? Why is Willoh aggressive?

SHE IS ATTEMPTING TO EAT AN UNDERWORKER! FUCKING HELP QUIRREL!

Anonymous asked:

Willoh.

I will have cloth come hit you again.

STOP EATING PEOPLE FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Come and stop me.

*On her way to eat an Underworker*

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Willoh. No! (Lightly hits with club) No eating people!

*Bonks back with a greatnail lightly*

I CAN EAT WHAT I WANT, SCARY BUG WITH CLUB!

*Scurries away*

Where did she get a greatnail?! HEY! GET BACK HERE! @tiso-official HELP ME SUBDUE HER! (Chases after Willoh)

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