Actually Severus was a fucking chad. The guy didn’t know how to fly properly on a broom, so he said yeah? Then I’ll learn to fly without any fucking gadget, just on my own. Fuck you all.

and he did

Dec. 21 - A fic rated G or T

According to my spreadsheet 🤓🤓🤓, about 52% of the fics I've read in the last couple of years were G or T. I don't pay much attention to ratings and it all blurs in my brain, but I sought out a few that I remember being quite lovely. And they've all got podfics!

Ship of Theseus by gallaplacidia (podfic by @sweatersinthesummer) Pairing: Draco x Harry Rating: T Length: 2 hours Summary:

SitS is the GOAT for amnesia fics. I think she's recorded all of them. And this one features two versions so you can see how much she's grown as a narrator. I've linked the new version from this year so as not to anger her, but I listened to the original one and it was GREAT. The text is not available for this fic because Alice Winn pulled her fics when she published the incredible novel, In Memoriam (go read it), but if you're intrepid and can't listen to SitS for some strange reason, you can find it on the internet.

knead, then let rise by @softlystarstruck (podfic by lastontheboat) Pairing: Draco x Harry Rating: T Word count: 7,230 Length: 43 minutes Summary:

A sweet, low-stakes, small and domestic story about baking. My description doesn't do it justice, it's warm and fuzzy and full of feelings.

Along the Way by @edenfalling (podfic by me) Pairing: Hermione x Ron Rating: G Word count: 5,946 Length: 37 minutes Summary:

This fic is beautiful. It's all canon compliant and quite bittersweet. I can't really describe how it makes me feel as a woman around the same age as the book characters, but it struck a certain chord that made me sad and a bit of feminist rage.

The Perfect Tree by @danpuff-ao3 (podfic by me) Pairing: Neville x Percy Rating: T Word count: 9,043 Length: 1 hour Summary:

Dani is a treasure in fandom. She helped pick up @hprecfest when the creator passed away. She puts up with a lot of bullshit from weird people trying to police fandom. And she writes such a compelling Snape, as well as a variety of adorable rarepairs, several of whom are contained within this story (plus Snarry). In the spirit of Christmas, go read all of her Christmas stories (I've recorded more than half of them!) and leaver her some love in the comments.

Thank you for reccing The Perfect Tree! That whole series brings me such joy ❤️💚🤍 And even more thanks for your kind words 🩷💛

͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙༺𝓜𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂༻༺𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼༻ ͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

- You came to the party? I wasn't sure if you would come. I was beginning to think you didn't care and would let me down alone in here.

- I don't care about some Halloween party, Potter. I care about you...

- For a man who don't care, I love your costume...

- It's not a costume, Harry.

- oh yeah? I think you're lying.

- What if I tell you I'm a real vampire?

- Don't be silly Severus, I can sense your heartbeats right now. But I won't stop you if you wanna bite me.

- Idiot... You shouldn't tempt me.

Every time I draw Snape he looks different. Here we have version: cluster headache from a student asking a question.

I love the very idea of the paris catacombs like. yeah sure the real-life city of paris has a straight-up megadungeon sprawling under it. Why not.

There’s also bones.

“Well how much bones.” I can assure you a comical amount. You’d think I was joking amount. Dark Souls ass decoration amount

This is just like. A couple of pictures off google. i’ve been there. There’s piles of bones they haven’t been through.

Nobody in the notes mentioned this fact but i need to emphasize there is absolutely so much bones. There is a dungeon and it’s decorated like this. There’s bone piles and shit that hasn’t even been discovered. The mega dungeon is not only big it looks like that. They literally need to sort it out from the amount of bones. There are so many dead people beneath paris in a dark souls crypt.

Lotsa people in the notes of this post pointing out that Paris isn't unique in this regard and actually most cities have sprawling underground complexes under them (sewers, cisterns, railway systems, etc)

And like yeah but like. None of them look like a stereotypical evil dungeon in an RPG as the Paris catacombs. It's not just that it has a lot of tunnels under it it's that it has a lot of Dark Souls looking ass tunnels under it.

Detailed map of the Paris Catacombs in English [7000x7000 px]

Went on a guided tour in 2003 (mostly to escape the heatwave), and to this day my wife swears someone tapped her on the shoulder - there was no-one behind us.

in 2004 they found a secret cinema down there

heres a blog post from 2012 with pictures:

apparently gizmodo and wired both found the group behind the cinema, 'les UX', but the articles linked are now error 404 pages.

damn that’s wild. Maybe the solution is gay sex

Do I have too many books? No. It is my shelving methods that are inadequate

sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it

The real horseshoe theory.

Sometimes people think they're dealing with a Torment Nexus but what they actually have is a Jumanji. And sometimes people think something's a Jumanji but oops it's a Torment Nexus.

Now. Sometimes you have a third thing- you'll have yourself a Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. And buddy, I can't help you there.

So a Torment Nexus is something that is either a metaphor for a larger societal problem (e.g. The Platform, The Long Walk) or a social issue/trend taken to an exaggerated extreme (e.g. The Purge), with a lot of shades of grey in between (e.g. Squid Game). If it isn't about a larger societal issue/trend/structure it isn't a Torment Nexus.

A Jumanji can be dangerous and high-stakes (to the characters), but it doesn't need to have a metaphor or lesson, it can easily just be a "Would this be fucked up or what?" situation (e.g. a lotta Goosebumps stories). If there IS a lesson/metaphor, it will be on a smaller scale like psychological issues (e.g. Magnus Archives), family/relationship issues (e.g. Zathura), or about a specific topic (e.g. Magic School Bus). Large-scale social issues may be present (after all, Everything Is Political), but they take a definite backseat.

Now. A Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is a trap based around morality and vices. These can be cultural, religious, or bonkers bullshit like "children shouldn't chew gum." There is generally not discussion or criticism of this morality system. Regardless of the morality system used, if it's not a trap, it's not a Chocolate Factory.

examples of a willy wonkas chocolate factory include:

saw

the cabin in the woods

labrynth (1986)

and

Autumn is here!

HI! here is my submission for the character design challenge of this month :

  Harry Potter