Holiday — 1938, dir. George Cukor

Pale fire club remix

I was the shadow. I was the shadow. I was the shadow. I was-was the shadow. I was was was was was was was was wastheshadow wastheshadow wastheshadow wastheshadow

Of The Wax. Wing. Slain [beat drop]

The other thing about board books that's hilarious is the back covers. I'm not a fan of how anglosphere publishing does back covers for adult books, but for board books taking the same approach just ups the absurdity to the extreme, because the back cover "summary" may have more words than the book itself.

It'll be like

"Josie thnks it's no big deal when she gives some eating utensils to her bird Maisie, but she's got a big adventure with many surprises in store! From the award winning and acclaimed author and of "If you give a Moose a Muffin" and "If you Give a Goose a Cruffin", and the illustrator of "Florp" and "Borf" comes "If You Give A Stork a Fork": an unforgettable adventure for the whole family, and a must for anyone who is an enthusiast of storks, cutlery, giving things, and conditionals.

"A towering achievement" —Sandra Boynton, author of "Moo Baa Lalala" "Reed buuk!" —Toddler "Googoogaga" —Baby"

And then the book itself will be like

"If you give a stork a fork, it is going to eat pulled pork.

Chomp Chomp Chomp

If you give it to a horse, it will do the same, of course.

Neigh Neigh Neigh

The End."

Another fun thing is the convention that the author gets top billing, so we have e.g. Hello, Animals! by Smriti Prasadam (illustrations by Emily Bolam)

And then the content is like

I think Emily Bolam did a great job realizing the author's vision here.

art: Mac Baconai

Average British Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Born in Hong Kong, raised in Singapore, Kingston and Oxford, he kissed his first girl at the tender age of 38. He spent 23 years obsessively writing notes for his epic masterwork, the Sword of Gormenlia series, with elements drawn from Indian mysticism, Arthurian mythos, Surrealist poetry, Victorian racism and Radical beliefs[?]. He died in Cyprus where he owned the world's most beautiful houseboat.

Average American Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Born on the border between Ohio and Montana, Wizjeremiah VanderMcDercken, better known by his pseudonym John "Wizard" Whiteman, was raised in a ghost town and was the only citizen of his county who could read. At the age of 14, he stole a car and drove 30 hours straight to New York City to send his first story "The Alien was Really a Man" to Astounding Stories, for which he was paid a whopping 12$. A string of successes followed, including "The Man was Really a Robot" "The Alien was Really a Wizard" and "The Wizard is Really a Man When You Think About It". He harassed Samuel R. Delany for twelve years over a mild criticism of one of his now out-of-print novels. Died in Yonkers where he had a condo.

Average Canadian Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Born just outside of Toronto

Average French Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Despite publishing over 170 novels over a period of fifty years, no one outside of France, or indeed within France, knows who Jean Messac is. Left on the steps of a convent in the south of France, he soon learned to hate the nuns, the books in the local library, Parisians, Americans, specifically the citizens of Syria, the Dominican Republic and Bulgaria, the French literary establishment, Regionalist writers, Sartre, De Gaulle, Casimir, anyone who appeared on TV, Radio, Newspapers and Photographs. He lived in a shoebox gifted to him as a joke from André Breton. He was a high school teacher and wrote for a variety of magazines and publishers, was institutionalized three times and was a Majdanek survivor. His books have all been translated in Russia and Japan following a popular JRPG adapting his saga "Pox-Children of the Kamchadals". He died in the same city where he spent his entire life at the age of 64.

Becca Stadtlander (American, b. Covington, KY, USA) - The Star Tarot Card, Paintings: Gouache

There's a little-known corollary to the Traveling Salesman Problem known as the Angry Chimpanzee Problem. The parameters are as follows:

* An angry chimpanzee wants nothing more than to kill you.

* There is no way to escape.

Needless to say, it remains one the most infamous unsolved problems in mathematics, and several other fields as well.

Back in the 2010s the only criminal use for chatbots was for pulling email confidence scams, which is a crime for low-down scoundrels. In the modern day one may use a chatbot to produce fake Simpsons screenshots, which is art forgery, which is a gentleman’s crime. From this we can predict that in ten years AI will be capable of non-violent train robberies and daring museum heists, complete with taunting perfumed letters addressed to le gendarme left behind at the scene of the crime

There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man

the sopranos + malaproprisms

The Age of Innocence 1993, dir. Martin Scorsese