Tibanna Gaslighting

Anakin nodded, slowly, as Palpatine finished telling him about this Darth Plagueis guy.

“That’s… an interesting story, Chancellor,” he said. “Where did you hear it from?”

“...I beg your pardon?” Palpatine replied.

“Well…” Anakin said, waving his hand in a vague sort of way, mostly for emphasis. “I got to thinking about how… you know. You said that this wasn’t a story the Jedi would tell me, and it really got me to realize that you can’t just believe everything you hear without knowing where you hear it from. So, uh… if the Jedi tell me a story about the Jedi making mistakes, that’s something that’s more likely to be believable, that kind of thing.”

He shrugged, awkwardly. “So… where did you hear it from?”

“Someone?” Palpatine replied. “It was a long time ago. You wouldn’t know him, he’s dead now.”

Texts From Superheroes

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is there powerscaling for cells at work. like it's a shonen anime so probably but literally how would you do the level of hyperliteralism that powerscaling involves for a show that's this metaphorical. does influenza qualify as a multiverse level threat because a human body is an entire universe from the cells' perspective

could cancer beat goku

"who would win in a fight between goku and cancer cell from cells at work" is so funny to me because by powerscaling rules you gotta be literalist you gotta ignore the fact that everything in cells at work is a metaphor so you're picturing cancer cell as a full sized humanish guy with all the powers of a cancer-mutated cell and he's in a fight with goku. but if you don't ignore the fact that everything in cells at work is a metaphor the question is actually "is it theoretically possible for goku to die of cancer"

even compared to comparable media about little guys that live inside the human body cells at work refuses to be interpreted in any way other than in a way where you're completely aware of what real world microbiology the stuff you're seeing is meant to be a metaphor for. "who would win in a fight between osmosis jones and neutrophil u-1146" makes no sense as a question because osmosis jones is a little cartoon guy with a gun who lives inside bill murray and calls himself a white blood cell, and u-1146 is a neutrophil that eliminates pathogens using phagocytosis which for the benefit of the audience is metaphorically represented in the form of an anime man killing monsters with a knife

don't know about cancer, have canon info on heart disease.

@autisticsupervillain need you on this.

Value Pack

Superb

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

I had one of these once, bookshop customer randomly challenged me to name, quote, ‘the only word in English where two u’s are next to each other’, and when I immediately said ‘vacuum’ he looked disappointed and when I pointed out it isn’t even the only word with two u’s next to each other in English and offered ‘continuum’ as an example he looked like I’d just punched his ribcage out his back like a Mortal Kombat character

People claiming this didn’t happen have never worked a day in retail

My partner @toweringclam once said something like the core of each Benoit Blanc movies is a woman who's been wronged. So in the collective unconscious Muppet crossover, he's got to be paired up with Miss Piggy.

The whole time she's throwing herself at him and cannot understand why he's not into her. She just doesn't get it. All the other Muppets understand immediately.

There's a scene where Kermit takes Benoit to what is very obviously a gay bar but never clearly said to be so, and half the cast is there. There's signed photos of Bert and Ernie on the wall.

Swedish Chef is the bartender, and he's wearing like a mesh shirt over his chef's coat.

Blanc is surprised when Kermit brings him there and he's just like "Blanc, I work in theater."

Statler and Waldorf are the victims, found dead of an apparent explosioning at the breakfast table, and the scene at the Muppet gay bar is their wake.

At the end, it turns out at the that they were both taking nitroglycerin tablets for their heart conditions and they had a bad reaction to their beans on toast. The show up alive at the end and explain that they were playing dead to get out of doing the movie.

Naturally, the gay bar is called "The Rainbow Connection"

only looking at things precisely backwards through a dull undialectical and mechanistic marxism could one come to the obviously ridiculous belief that the status quo of danish colonial control of greenland poses any impediment to us imperial military power projection in greenland or us capital's ability to extract greenlandic resources

girl talking about her husband: he's such a great man...

me, principled marxist: *shaking my head* it was the broader economic conditions that made you cum last night

Shaggy Rogers is a young adult human man that eats dog treats and his friends don't even care. They act like it's normal. Not only do they know he loves eating dog treats, but they know he'll do scary dangerous shit just to eat dog treats, and they use that to their advantage. "Oh you don't wanna get asbestos poisoning in the scary abandoned building? What if we fed you a dog treat?" And he says yes and he does it and eats it and they act like that's a normal thing for a human guy to do. But then again, he also eats 10 feet tall sandwiches in one bite, so maybe he's not even human. Still fucked up that they manipulate him like that though. But whatever. Forget I said anything.

The Show Must Go On

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

Succession Not Secession

“Are you coming, Master?” Anakin asked.

“Oh, no,” Obi-Wan replied. “I’m not brave enough for politics, Anakin! I have to report to the council.”

He held up his hands. “Besides, someone has to be the poster boy.”

“But this whole operation was your idea,” Anakin objected. “You planned it, you led the rescue operation.”

Obi-Wan chuckled.

“Anakin, I do not enjoy glory,” he said. “I would much rather discuss philosophy. Have a conversation. But I know that you enjoy it.”

“That’s strong language,” Anakin replied.

Usagi Yojimbo vol. 11, Fantagraphics

I genuinely believe Lord Hebi has the best character design in all of comics. The kimono tube

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

❗️Great Hog is displeased by this.

The kingly pig looks taken aback by this statement. "You claim to be 'baiting' our kind?.. A master of it, no less - after all the trust we hsve placed in you?"

- Your relationship with the Hog Society 🐖 is now Unfavourable.