like- okay. its important that the story is told through perch's lens. because the audience is supposed to be in a state of ignorance for a lot of things, even if they have a better understanding of what's going on from andy's perspective (isekai) than perch does. like in order to understand what's happening, you need both your knowledge (as a human on earth, aware of genre conventions and andy's american mindset) and perch's knowledge (everything regarding andy is a big fucking question mark, but he gets social situations better and understands the world as a native inhabitant of it). the whole reason i started this story was because i wanted to unmeta a meta genre that i think is fucking great, but i love it so so so much more from the perspective of a world native. the questions are going to be there and cant just be answered by the narrative. again, just that dissonance between an audience that can guess what's going on from andy's perspective but has actual insight into perch's, but perch only has one.

sometimes andy and perch sit on a bench by the river and andy is eating a pastry and offers bites of it to perch and perch thinks to himself. if i could keep this forever. then it would all be worth it.

I just spent. Uh. Over 11 hours on this. What the fuck just happened to me

Also, I don’t think Andy realized how lonely he was, just like many undiagnosed autistic children. He just believed he was content with himself, and vaguely prided himself on that. He loved words, reading and writing and crafting — isn’t that smart people shit? Isn’t he supposed to feel proud of that? So he does. He thinks he’s good and happy because he is doing a lot of the “right things.” He knows he’s likeable, having hit that sweet spot of autism where people think he’s just funny or just creative or just smart. So he doesn’t worry that he spends every day and every night alone. He thinks he’s still sociable. He doesn’t worry that he hasn’t heard from his sister in a year. He thinks the hurt in his chest is whatever, and not that he lost his only close-ish peer. And he doesn’t think that his loneliness affected him, because he didn’t know it was there. But it was. And, unknowingly, he starts listing his own happiness as a low priority, and believing himself as a low priority in other people’s minds. He starts expecting no one to feel strongly about him, in any direction. He doesn’t consider himself a person with connections or with an impact. So he can’t see it when he does impact anyone.

THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT PERCH FIGHTS FOR A FATE HE BELIEVES IS RIGHT WHILE ANDY TRIES TO ACCEPT A FATE HE DOESNT KNOW IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE

THEY BOTH DO EVERYTHING WRONG IN THEIR ATTEMPTS AT SETTING UP A FINALE. PERCH THINKS ITS THE END THATS MOST IMPORTANT TO CHANGE, WHILE ANDY WANTS THE JOURNEY TO A SUPPOSEDLY FIXED END TO BE AS SMOOTH AS POSSIBLE SO THATS WHAT HE WORKS TO CHANGE.

PERCH THINKS THE EVIL IS IN THE END HE FEARS AND THE JOURNEY THEYRE EXPERIENCING. ANDY THINKS THE EVIL IS IN THE JOURNEY HE READ AND THAT HE ALREADY AVOIDED.

PERCH THINKS THE EVIL IS IN THE CURRENT STATE (THE JOURNEY). ANDY THINKS THE JOURNEY HAS BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.

I DONT KNOW ITS JUST ALL COMING AT ONCE YOULL JUST HAVE TO DEAL

They’re fighting for such opposite things. Andy wants Perch to succeed, without considering his part in an epilogue. Perch wants Andy to succeed and, importantly, to be by his god’s side when he does.

They both plan for a future and work for it. They don’t realize they’re working against one another. Perch thinks his Mr. Andy is green lighting all his plots. Mr. Andy thinks Perch is just doing a great job being a good person and knight, naturally leading himself to his “happily ever after.”

Perch feels helpless the whole five years he hides out in the college, feeling that his debt to Andy is unpayable. Andy thinks that would be the only part where he would be important: as a useful little npc guy just giving a better life to his beloved protagonist. Perch works for the whole decade in the castle to get Andy as the Most Viable Option for the next Bagdandi. Andy thinks his own work is over, but can’t help antagonizing his beloathed antagonist. The hard part was the second section for Perch, while it was the “easy” section for Andy (he never really loved himself, did he).