what i miss most about being a chocolatier (besides the honor of gayest job title imaginable) is we had these massive bars of chocolate for tempering that were 10lbs and we had to break them into smaller chunks. by using a sledgehammer of course. i LIVED for that shit

all the other people in production HATED busting them especially at the end of the shift but i fucking loved it. give me the hammer. i can be trusted with the hammer. And everyone did in fact trust me with the hammer because again they all thought it was tedious and painful. me? i was having the time of my life. even if i had to pick up the slack for other people i would be annoyed for all of five seconds before the euphoria of getting to smash things set in. and the production areas had windows too so customers often just got to watch me beat the shit out of a massive chocolate bar. with a hammer. like a zoo animal. i was getting paid to do that. every day i miss it.

Guy freezes his hair and it stands tall.

Guy freezes his hair and it stands tall.

sound on for his adorable gremlin giggles and commentary in a lovely accent

Come and See Him

This is the sorta segment I wish still existed in kids’ shows. Soothing voiceover, mellow music, no flashy graphics. Just a calm behind-the-scenes look at something you might call mundane but that most of us would never have a clue about if no one pulled the curtain back to reveal its inner workings.

Okay but imagine being in kindergarten and seeing something like this, you would absolutely change your mind about wanting to be a fire fighter or teacher or whatever Job you've been told is cool and possible to grow up to do because wait a minute it's just like play-doh, there's so much it's kept in trash cans, you can use your hands to smear icing everywhere? It smells like cinnamon buns all the time?! Yes please!

I vaguely remember having a field trip to a bakery in kindergarten and thinking croissants were magical and that I wanted to make them in the future cuz kneading dough looked fun.

This is way more engaging and easier to watch than those sped-up videos with no voiceover and trashy pop music playing over the top.

It actually does make me remember similar segments in shows I watched growing up, like that one program. I don't remember what exactly the segment was about but it followed a young boy, and he briefly mentioned stopping at a friend's house and trying goat milk for the first time.

Very little else stuck with me but it sure made me curious about goat milk.

a character who fell into freezing waters, hurriedly getting dragged out by their friends and quickly warmed in any way they can. one person starting a fire, another undressing them of their wet cold clothes, someone offering body contact to transfer some of their warmth over.

Magical Girl Puberty

i love this old man and his cat (ID in alt)

Like or reblog to support how much Grandpa here stans his little black cat Juno

i hate getting blackout drunk bc i talk to too many strangers and like make plans and promises i don't wanna follow up on. this morning i got up super hungover and made a fried egg bagel & as soon as i took the first bite a stats menu briefly manifested into existence over my head and OATHBREAKER appeared after my name 😭😭😭 what could that even mean

minotaur costumes from the lion, the witch and the wardrobe

I had an unsavory thought that I won’t share

I’ll share mine. I want him to fuck me so deep you can see his cock pushing out of my stomach

I wish c.s.lewis could see that comment

And I worked with a man called Squidward. And he was a Protestant man, but we were the best of friends. But by God, he was crabid as a bag of cats. He was an auld grump. And he'd be big into the flutes and the Oboes and things like that. He lived in a big stone head.

you really do have to watch the video, it's everything

Oh NO i remember this one and its FAMOUSLY sad —

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first rule of fandom is everything goes back to destiel

second rule of fandom is everything goes back to kirk/spock

third rule of fandom is everything goes back to holmes & watson

fourth rule of fandom is everything goes back to achilles & patroclus

the funny thing is. I originally typed out "fifth rule of fandom is everything goes back to gilgamesh & enkidu" but then I thought 'no, I can't trust that people will be familiar with the epic of gilgamesh'

I should have known. nerd ass website.