i can't believe this is my tumblr legacy

When you open up an entire etsy store literally so you can sell one vinyl record that you accidentally bought two copies of.
Oh shit moments in overwatch
-you hear the tap tap tap of Genji feet behind you
-“I’ve got you in my sights” *cue panicked 360s trying to see where that old man is yelling from
-“fire in the hole-” *tire noises and you do a REALLY panicked 360 trying to see where it’s coming from
-“nerf this” and it’s time to fucking book it for cover and god bless your soul if there’s nowhere to go
-“RYU GA-” *that horrible whooshing, creaking wood sound and you see hells fire as you die
-PINNED
-turrets shooting you, whether it’s Torbie’s autolocking onto you or symmetra’s slowing draining the life from your walking corpse
-“JUSTICE RAINS-” *right above you
-“DIE DIE DIE” *right behind you
-“HAMMER DOWN” *right in front of you
-“GROUNDED” *especially if a roadhog DRAGS YOU DOWN INTO A HOLE WITH HIM CUZ IF HE GOES DOWN, you go
-Saw the Bastion a second too late
-saw the TURRET a second too late
-walked stupidly into the turret four times thinking you could take it out but just giving Torbjorn a humiliating play of the game Congo
-“aw you look tired”
-“Helden sterben nicht” *the lights of hell as your demons return to you
-Mei tosses her Ult at you and you can’t run and soon you can’t even walk because there’s an icicle in your eye sockets
-“bombs away!” *GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET OFF
-“it’s hiiiiiiigh noon” *IT'SHIGHNOONIT'SHIGHNOON KILL THE BASTARD OR DUCK

Look, I’m just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?
