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NaomiJameston

@naomijameston / naomijameston.tumblr.com

18+ only. Formerly lhbeauty. Hufflepuff, INFP, mod of Hearts&Cauldrons. Header by sameyesgrey.tumblr.com

Hello!

If you're looking for the mod of Hearts&Cauldrons, you found me! Please feel free to send me a message so I can get you an invite. ❤Invites are currently OPEN!

If you're looking for a Critical Role live blogging Tumblr, that's also me. I watch CR on Thursdays and will post between 0 and 400 times. I highly suggest you turn off notifications and block these tags: #critical role, #cr spoilers, #critical role spoilers.

If you're looking for a person constantly on the edge of an anxiety attack, welcome. If I don't respond to your message or ask right away, know that it is haunting my every waking moment.

If you're here to discuss posts on Reddit or in other Snamione discords, I have nothing to say. Move on.

Otherwise, I'm thrilled to meet you, however you found me. Send me a message if you ever want a friendly ear and virtual cup of tea.

just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……….like being horizontal? unparalleled

[Image ID: A screenshot of tumblr tags. “well it’s paralleled by both the floor and the ceilng but i see where you’re coming from”.

End Image ID]

The breadsticks thing to me is hilarious I think it must be another Europe/America thing bc my whole life ‘breadsticks’ have been these hard crunchy thin stick things you buy them at the supermarket and it says breadsticks on the box Never in my life has anyone around me referred to an actual stick of bread as a breadstick lmao But then we don’t have Olive Garden either

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samfuckingvimes

wait, that’s not what they’re talking about?

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unreliablefairyservant

Are you telling me this meme is not about grissini? My life is a lie!

I… did wonder why there would be such a focus on going to somewhere with unlimited dry wheat twigs.  Googling ‘olive garden breadsticks’ does seem to suggest a tastier thing.

Huh.

this changes everything

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little-fleur

I mean, I thought it was odd that they everyone was so excited about breadsticks… but then I thought, well, it’s America…

Wait they’re talking about actual bread???

grissini:

breadsticks:

… I want American breadsticks. ;_;

@goodbyecassiel - this is the Great Breadstick Misunderstanding, companion to the Epic Lemonade Confusion post

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accursedsith

@charlottedabookworm my life is a lie

Omfg same

wtaf why did nobody ever tell us they were talking about actual bread?!?!

We literally did tell you. We. We used the word BREAD.

but………… those aren’t breadsticks!

They are sticks.

Of bread.

🤷‍♂️

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crewdlydrawn

We didn’t know you had breadtwigs instead.

OH the joke is funnier than previously thought because those are bigger and therefore it would be harder and more socially awkward to shove them into your purse! Lol

I feel like this is explaining a joke to Vulcans who are totally game to try humor, and I’m loving it.

If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.

I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.

Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.

Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?

Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?

Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.

When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!

Or is it?

If I were an evil empress I would also have exotic birds and they'd all be real birds. I'd name them after enemies I had killed.

its a cliche but im a slut for when a character is introduced as super chill and goofy and then you later find out theyre chill and goofy because theyre too powerful to be touched. the level 100 wizard whos already figured out everything and is just vibing now. big fan.

you dont need the butter pillow you dont need the butter pillow you dont need the butter pillow

all i'm getting from the tags and replies on this post is the butter pillow has cast a devious spell on most of you. you have fallen for the trap of the butter pillow.

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