unhinged

The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, is "what the fuck is 6 7"

The computer, sadly, misinterpreted the space as multiplication.

Truly the best possible outcome this post could've had

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

hang on I gotta look something up.

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

I respect an "I can fix him" villainfucker 50x more than a "he didn't do anything wrong, he's just misunderstood!" villainfucker. like yeah they both get the cute domestic happily ever after, but man the first guy has depth they have nuance and most importantly they are actually aware they're a villainfucker

but the guy i respect MOST is the unapologetic villainfucker. "yeah he did that shit and it was sexy" fuckers. "was the wanton murder fun babe it looked fun" fuckers. these guys know where it's at

converting a goody two shoes into a revolutionary.

The best shot of the year

Those in the notes worried about this being AI, it's not - her name is Pan Xiaoting and she's a badass billiards pro

horror movies are so much scarier when the actors look like an average sampling of the human population. and the house is a little messy

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the back of my mind) these people were hand-selected for visual appeal. this is a set. this is a story

when the actor has a little acne and there are dirty dishes in the sink: aaaaahhhhh this is just like Me and My House ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the front of my mind) these people had it coming

so fucking stupid that meds literally work. "swallow this pebble it makes you think" hateful

i love medications and swallowing pills #mypebbles

don’t forget to swallow your pebbles today girls

(x)

I love how the tornado doesn't look malicious. She's just dancing along, doing her thing, and it's a pity you're so very ant-sized below.

tumblr will turn anything into a girl

of course, this is the turning into a girl website

I do believe the girl is turning already

This dog's face is sending me. New reaction image

As i was cropping it i thought the "no he'd die" was really funny so I kept it

I'm stealing this. Thanks.

currently addicted to r/TVTooHigh

some real hits in here

context (via @mellorocket)

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:

And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:

And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗

(Comment compilation from this Twitter)

I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.

"So, boss... I may have messed up."

"What did you do, Ray?"

"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"

"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."

"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."

"Oh."

"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."

"Get the others."

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

and important addition

Source: instagram

Always reblog this. Elmo and his friends will be there in your times of trial and doubt, to help you through your torment

I am once again begging you to get your hands on physical media and/or save your fave stuff OFFLINE.

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

Why would you hide this in the comments