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@phantom-1-2

My pronouns: he/him, xe/xem

I write fanfiction! Mainly P.I.E, but occasionally other fandoms. Sporadic updates, because I’m a slow writer, but I usually post on Saturdays. (As in when I have a finished chapter ready, not every Saturday.)

As always, make sure to read tags throughly, and also the Trigger and Content warnings I put before every chapter. If you need clarification on any of them, or think I should add anything else, feel free to tell me so in the comments section of whatever chapter it concerns.

(No obligations of course, but I greatly appreciate any comment and kudos left on my fics, and make a point to reply to every single one. All my fics do have moderated comments though, mostly as a precaution against bots and potentially people being rude, but if you do comment, I’ll approve it as soon as I read it, as long as you’re not being an asshole lol.)

My main series as of now is called “Adding More Smoke To The Sky”, (after the song Hammerhead by Penelope Scott) and is a P.I.E team origin story where I take all the things I like about canon, (as canon as anything is in vtale) throw it all in a blender, make up a bunch of my own lore to fill in the gaps, and project onto one Johnny Ghost as much as humanly possible.

It isn’t very long yet, but I’ve got a lot of plans, and also autism, and my goal is to make the longest, most widespread, fic series I’ve ever written.

It does have a lot of heavy themes, and is made with an adult audience in mind (it will not have any explicit sex scenes in main story fics, but it might in some offshoots. It does have some sexual humor and references, though, because I am literally neurodivergent and an adult)- it’s for ppl like me that loved vtale as kids, and still hold a special place in their hearts for it even as adults. I try to squeeze in as many references and inside jokes as I can, just for the real ones that understand them. It also does have other vtale characters, even if the P.I.E team is the main focus.

My other fics:

My first truly explicit fic! Also a crack fic spawned of the joke I made months ago that Toast calls Ghost “Sir” for BDSM reasons. And then I slipped and spilled a bowl of Catholic Guilt into it and now it is no longer just a joke. Don’t do jokes, kids, they’re dangerous. (I’m not the biggest fan of minors interacting with even my sfw stuff on this account, because I do talk about sexuality and other mature topics, but obviously 18+ only for this sort of shit.)

The one where I project my aroace struggles HARD onto Ghost:

I wrote this last year, projecting all them sad aroace angsty feelings into it. It’s a Ghost/OC (technically, it’s a qpr) fic, and it hasn’t gotten much traction, but I am very proud of it, despite its flaws, and very niche appeal.

My old fics:

These are some fics I posted/wrote a few years ago, which I don’t want to orphan or delete, but aren’t entirely reflective of my current writing style and ability (if you read any of the fics I orphaned before I did so, or know I wrote them for whatever reason, no you didn’t/j)

(Chronically ill Ghost chronically ills)

(Really old one I didn’t post when I finished, and then decided too a little while ago cuz why not. Autistic Ghost.)

(This one’s not as old as some others, but it is also entirely about childhood sexual abuse. (Not explicitly described) So. Big trigger warning, also don’t be a dick cuz this one was super vulnerable to write uwu.)

(The origin of my QPR obsession lmao)

(Old, but a lot of fun to write. Also the most painful ao3 moment, because when trying to post the second entry, I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE FIRST. Which wasn’t a problem for the text itself- I had a backup- BUT ALL THE KUDOS AND LOVELY COMMENTS I GOT ON IT ARE GONE. And I am still SO SAD ABOUT THAT.)

The single Tales From The Gas Station fic:

Another one of my long term special interests. It’s been a while since I’ve updated it, but I will finish it eventually, I’m just hyperfixated on other shit right now. (Volume 4 spoilers)

(Ramble incoming) The sections in Volume 4 regarding Jack’s psychology, and especially his violent tendencies, are FASCINATING to me. I especially love the passage where one of his old classmates at the high school reunion says that Jack was actually the one to tear apart those grasshoppers during recess. If you don’t remember, that’s one of the things Jack uses to introduce Spencer as a character, putting him in a stereotypical “psychopathic child hurts animals” role. Which I now believe was intentional on author Jack’s part. It’s mildly ambiguous whether that’s correct or not- I prefer the idea that it is, but even if not, that classmate still conflated Spencer and Jack so much in their mind they couldn’t tell the difference.

This fic is based around that aspect of Jack, and is appropriately heavy as a result. But also Jerry is my favorite character and it’s in his POV and focused around Jerry and Rosa, after the end of Volume 4, helping Jack. Hurt/comfort, heavy on the hurt. (I started it before the newest, post vol 4, blog posts came out, so there might be discrepancies.)

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heres a colored png and white background sketch of spencer but i try to make him as disgustingly realistic as possible.

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ive been MISSING IN ACTION! busy from the holidays and. work. and art block. BUT. here is a wip i did! will i finish it? Maybe! not right now though because i literally Have Covid. YAAAYYYY. (/sar)

toast endeared by his anger issues bpd riddled partner

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breaking my tumblr hibernation to post this out of context clip

I have a disease which makes me see a duo and immediately compare them to Toastedghost.

Dan and Phil. (This one happens the most. It’s a problem/j Dan is Ghost Phil is Toast ofc)

Rhett and Link (depends on the clip)

Markiplier and Ethan Nestor (also depends on the clip. But in the clip where they get caught cooking with sex toys, Ethan is Toast Mark is Ghost. Mark does look a bit more like Toast tho.)

The autism is strong within me.

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its funny sometimes remembering how ghost is southern. cuz i just get the image of him and the team on some case, and a lots happening and spooker keeps asking questions and ghost just yells “HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES FOR A SECOND-“

another time he just yells “SHUT YOUR MOUTH!”

or he’s just plain irritated and turns to whoever’s pissing him off and goes “i’ll tell ya what, bitch-“

give me more southern ghost goddammit

Southern Ghost for the win

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i continue to project not only my disabilities and health shit onto ghost, but also my own stubbornness and stupidity 👍

yes i will blast metal music in my headphones while i have a migraine. yes i know its just gonna make it worse. ghost would absolutely do the same idc /lh

I just got nail polish on my fucking phone screen send help

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Anonymous asked:

why does this fandom gotta 'dunk' on ghost in ableist ways, hes a wheel chair user thats too stupid to realize he needs one? he has to be forced by toast to use it? why did he get one? how did he get one? do you know why people use mobility aids? why he doesnt want to use his? do you know the struggles faced by wheelchair users in an ablest society? why does toast know more about ghosts disability than ghost? why is a disabled character being forced by an abled character to care for his disability? why is toast forcing ghost funny or cute or ok? why do you think a disabled man shouldnt have a say in what he does? because hes too stupid? subborn? crazy? do you realize the idea that disabled people dont know what they think or need or feel gets disabled people abused and killed? between this, 'eww ghost dosent shower' and the 'anti-demon pills' it feels like this fandom never got any less ableist(or sanist, but i cant get into that now), it doesnt just happen you have to try by researching ableism and listening to disabled people hope this doesnt come across as too agressive, it just sucks hearing all this as someone with chronic pain and fatigue id realy appreciate if some of yall would reflect on this stuff thanks for your time

I think a lot of people are just headcannoning that Ghost acts that way because of internalized ableism, not out of any kind of malice. A lot of ppl are also projecting their own disabilities, and experiences with them, onto him, not just… making him disabled for the sake of a shitty joke or something. Shrug. I’m not an authority on this, you’re allowed to still be uncomfortable with some of the ways he’s portrayed, I’m just sharing my own 2 cents.

I headcannon Ghost as a part time cane user, and that sometimes he doesn’t like using it even when he needs to. Because he doesn’t like being perceived as weak by others, (obviously using a cane doesn’t make you weak, but some abled people would think so, and, again, internalized ableism) or standing out in a crowd, or because it can be inconvenient to have one hand occupied at all times. This is something he himself knows is a problem, and is eventually going to be worked on and resolved. He also just struggles with taking care of himself in general, and that’s part of it.

Toast helps him feel comfortable using it by just being there, because his presence makes Ghost feel safer, but also by holding things for him, reassuring him, trying to keep the negative attention off of him as much as possible. He helps a lot, but that also means that Ghost is more hesitant to use it when Toast isn’t going to be there- they’re very codependent lol.

The caregiving doesn’t go just one way, though. Ghost helps Toast with things just as much. It’s not a situation where Ghost is a wittle baby who doesn’t know anything, and Toast has to take care of everything for him. It’s a dynamic where they help eachother equally. And both of them desperately need it, neither of these men are mentally or physically healthy.

Not to say that it’s impossible for someone to have a disabled Ghost headcannon and portray that in a genuinely harmful way. Far from it. And I ABSOLUTELY agree that there’s a whole lot of ableism in the fandom, especially in regards to Jimmy. (not at all helped by the source material) I just think there’s some amount of nuance that might be missing, unintentionally.

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I’ll never give up, I’ll never give in

‘Til I’m bloody and bruised

‘Til I’ve broken my bones

‘Til I won’t be abused

‘Til I’m laughing alone

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