Avatar

Lickin’ Them Boneses

@phoenixdellaverita / phoenixdellaverita.tumblr.com

She/they, just call me Phoenix. Adult. Brazilian (been here before the twitter ban).
Archaeologist. Forensic anthropology student.

Writing masterlist:

Falling in reverse, Percy Jackson (that’s my magnum opus go read it) and the sequel Skyfall (WIP)

Falling star, the Percy and Estelle centric sequel (WIP)

Leave me lying where I fall, the Au of an Au where I let Percy kill

Five ring toss, set in the falling in reverse universe, an AU where everyone competes in the Olympics, but make it a magic and demigod version.

Equuleus Fantasy, probably the most unhinged crossover I’ve ever come up with (Percy Jackson and saint seiya)

Lovely, holy war series, Saint seiya: The Lost Canvas (they’re so gay)

What’s Death to its god?, a Saint seiya TLC / Batman crossover, and its rewritten version, “As on Earth, so in Hell

Everybody Hurts, a Batman / DC fic about secret identities and Gotham City

Needle, Tokyo ghoul. Angst.

As the vermin crawls, the best angst I’ve ever written (Danny phantom)

Nobody knows his real name, the second most unhinged crossover I’ve ever written (House MD and Percy Jackson)

Something about you (it’s like an angel, it’s violence and danger), wardstone chronicles/seventh son/spook’s apprentice crossover with School for Good and Evil, a discussion on morality.

And my AO3 profile

You know how kids are supposed to be exposed to some level of dirt and grime as they grow up so their immune systems can learn what's a deadly disease and what just causes some slight irritation? And if a kid grows up in a too clean environment they're likely to develop severe allergies or a hyper immune disorder?

I think the over sanitation of the internet is doing similar things to people's psyche.

No that ship with an age gap isn't the same as pedophilia, you're just having the moral equivalent to hay-fever.

typewriter!

I love the orchestra trying and failing to maintain a straight face throughout

Exactly. These people had to rehearse at least a few times all at once yet when it's nkt their turn to play they still look at that guy with the typewriter as if he was the most fascinating thing they have ever seen.

My husband's wind ensemble played this song when he was in high school! you can do it with normal auxillery percussion, but it's so much more fun if you do it with a real typewriter

now that is a writing mood

they were really like, the only reasonable approach to this piece is to insert a clown at the center of the orchestra

If you're not playing Leroy Anderson's 1953 classic "The Typewriter" with an actual typewriter on stage... why would you even BOTHER?

From wiki

According to the composer himself, as well as other musicians, the typewriter part is difficult because of how fast the typing speed is: even professional stenographers cannot do it, and only professional drummers have the necessary wrist flexibility

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

[Description: a TikTok video showing someone holding up a Macbook laptop with an incredulous look, with a caption reading "Alan Turing after I bring him to 2026". The person inspects the laptop, and as they do so they say "Oh my god. This is—this is incredible. Like, I just—I can't even comprehend what I'm looking at here. Like, I just never thought that like in a million years society would ever, ever be able to create something like this." They pause and look at the laptop screen, and say "And you said they're both hockey players?" /End description]

why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs

like i’m picturing him being really careful and looking at it and carrying it exactly like this while walking or riding through the woods and across rivers and up mountains and through valleys and he doesn’t drop it even once except at the very end where he tidily drops it into the volcano. frodo sam and the crew and even gollum wholly undisturbed. sauron can’t find him bc of the meditative aura surrounding him which is generated by his immense focus on not dropping it

World's most tense egg and spoon race

this somehow became the funniest thing on earth in my head and I had to draw it so

The only good white washing

You can also add color to the mix! All those quaint postcard-esque colorful European houses that tourists clamour to see? That's limewash babey!!!

And you can apply multiple coats a year if you want the color to be opaque faster :]

Dohko: Oh thank Athena we all got resurrected! But Shion next time I tell you to kill a baby, PLEASE listen to me…
Saori: Excuse fucking me

[neutral version:/ Dohko: Oh thank Athena we all got resurrected! But Shion next time I tell you to kill a baby, PLEASE listen to me… / Saori: Excuse fucking me /End]

Aghora and Shiva, respectively 9 and 8: Oh infinitely wise Master! Share us your wisdom!
Shaka, 12 and high as fuck on weed and incense: Lying’s bad ‘cept for when I do it

Sponsored

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.