Pinned
MICAH, WRITER(?), ALWAYS MAKING IT TOO DEEP
‣ most recent fic: have a nice life, elle greenaway
‣ requests are open, kind of. (i can’t guarantee to answer it quickly, but please send it in if you'd like! i love seeing them!)
‣ talk to me! tell me a secret! spill!
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader description: spencer spends the holiday party quietly twisting himself up over you until finally, you break through his walls. later, in the snow and the quiet, everything catches fire between you. genre: smut but the yearning kind & some fluff (MDNI) w/c: 4.6k warnings/tags: sub spencer (offically taking sides, but i'm sure you could've been able to tell), first time between reader and spencer, spencer reid is not a virgin but acts like one, i cannot explain enough how in love he is (genuinely he is a wreck), like some form of praise kink (it's written in between the lines), he is just so needy. slight biblical references, no use of y/n. it's all sweet until it gets intense idk a/n: i actually hate this. all my small amount of skill left me. it's okay i'm gonna be brave and post anyway masterlist // please reblog to support the fic if you enjoyed!
────────────
Spencer spends most of his time waiting, turning the things he wants over on his tongue, never quite letting them leave his mouth. He often spends nights wrapped around the various universes he could exist in, ones where he does do what he wants to do, ones where he isn’t quite so vulnerable, a hot glass attracted to the cooling quality of snow. He thinks a lot. He desires a lot. He says a lot, reads a lot, works a lot. Things happen to him; it’s rare that he ever happens to anything else.
In another life, he’s solid. In another life, he isn’t pulled apart by fantasy and longing that holds him from his throat.
um???
Passion is warm but burns if the prospect of you hangs on too close
Um???
He thinks he’s pathetic—but maybe only in an I’ve-always-been-half-empty-and-you-make-me-spill-over way
UM??
It’s so many days of disastrous wanting slammed into an attempt at gentleness.
GIRL
“It is. It is.”
I think that little conversation broke me.
Woah. Like woah woah.
WORSHIP IS NOT OUT OF HIS REALM OF POSSIBILITY
Ma'am. Please. Not sure what u mean by your skill leaving you because that was gorgeous.
It was different, certainly, but a good different! A new different! Thank you for being brave and posting.
I think this is less of what I normally do and more of shock?? Woahhhhhhhh
Love love??? Please keep being brave and posting??? 💕💕💕💕💕💕
(Hes such a yearner but I am too??)
cant believe i didn’t see this when you first commented i’m so sorry😭
this was definitely something a little bit different for me and i’m relieved you still loved it!! 🫶🫶🫶
HAVE A NICE LIFE, ELLE GREENAWAY
pairing: spencer reid x elle greenaway description: Spencer was always going to break through, and Elle was always going to leave. Some risks just aren't worth taking. genre: angst w/c: 5k warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (MDNI), power dynamics, trauma & PTSD, mentions of violence, alcohol, biblical imagery, spoilers for Aftermath, flawed characters and even more flawed conversations. overall just a really big character study a/n: i love them both dearly, but they never would have made it. i could give an analysis on every single line of this. seriously. they're so complex, i had to write something complex. masterlist // please reblog to support the fic!
────────────
The first thing Elle felt when she touched Spencer was bone. She found it on a curve, sharp and more of a corner than anything else. Then, on the second, the third, the fourth time, she found more of it protruding, covering organs, keeping him from spilling onto the carpet as a mess of tissue. Eight defined ribs popping from his skin if he inhaled too hard.
So. I. Have. No. Words. I ate that up in like a minute and then went back to double down on the pain I felt lmao. Spectacular stuff there my dude.
Good grief. I mean, absolutely, I knew deep down, they would never have made it, in any shape or form, but did you have to put it in words that took the shape of a broken heart inside a fixed ribcage?
May I say the motif is a bone, in this sense? Bone as something easily broken, something that could be fixed with time and care and love, something that cannot be regenerated and something, when broken is a loss unknown by any other? Because with the spine, the collarbones, the ribs (and dare I say the eyes), Elle Greenaway is certainly a woman with a backbone, which had unfortunately been broken to no repair, for her own trauma would not let it.
Also, you should ABSOLUTELY give me an analysis, because I wanna compare my notes to yours, lol.
Elle trusts Spencer more than she loves him. And MAY I SAY that this, arguably, might be the most important line about their relationship??? because Elle (who does not easily love nor trust) finally gives in to someone who (arguably) does not have a backbone - someone whom she feels safe enough with, but isn't really?? Idk if I'm making much sense, but I fear that, for Elle, her trust is of more importance in a relationship but for Spence, it'd love?? And neither of them are able to Be That for the other???? (Am I making sense?? Please tell me if not lol)
and I guess with that mark on her bone (again, motif), shows her that, for every time she pretends that she's untouchable and unafraid, she isn't? Especially after the incident, where she's trying to pretend she's not scared, in that moment after Lee, she recognises it and decides that nobody should ever make her feel lesser than she's felt and leaves. Leaves for herself. Which I love.
And don't even get me started on Spencer, because I can and will. (Something something mirroring Elle's fears ... lol)
ALSO how SHE fucks him in the last set of paragraphs as a symbol for her taking power BEFORE he marks her and then let's her spiral opposing the way HE fucks her in the rest of the piece???? 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌 masterpiece
Anywho! Love how I say I have no words and then proceeded to yap, lmao. Lemme know if you wanna chat about it, because I'll be up for that :))
Love love LOVE your work, and I'm so so glad you decided to write about them in this way. Very vulnerable in a way they'd both despise - that's how you know it's good xx 💕💕💕💕💕💕
ughhh you’re just so smart i can’t hide anything from you
bones were absolutely the main metaphor in this one, and i love seeing your interpretation of it!! there is literally nothing i love more than seeing what people take away from my writing. so awesome dude
once again you are absolutely correct. elle trusts spencer more than she loves him is the probably the most important line in this—at least it’s the one that overarches the most for me. that’s the main thing i wanted to convey with elle’s character: trust is the trickiest thing for her, and because she has so much of it in spencer, the risk is higher. if you catch my drift.
i would love to talk more if you have anything you’d like me to go deeper into! also i’m so sorry for the later reply, it’s been pretty hectic around here lmao
so glad you liked this! genuinely feeling so validated rn
HAVE A NICE LIFE, ELLE GREENAWAY
pairing: spencer reid x elle greenaway description: Spencer was always going to break through, and Elle was always going to leave. Some risks just aren't worth taking. genre: angst w/c: 5k warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (MDNI), power dynamics, trauma & PTSD, mentions of violence, alcohol, biblical imagery, spoilers for Aftermath, flawed characters and even more flawed conversations. overall just a really big character study a/n: i love them both dearly, but they never would have made it. i could give an analysis on every single line of this. seriously. they're so complex, i had to write something complex. masterlist // please reblog to support the fic!
────────────
The first thing Elle felt when she touched Spencer was bone. She found it on a curve, sharp and more of a corner than anything else. Then, on the second, the third, the fourth time, she found more of it protruding, covering organs, keeping him from spilling onto the carpet as a mess of tissue. Eight defined ribs popping from his skin if he inhaled too hard.
literally in a cinema rn, tucked away in my seat bc the movie is so fucking boring so I logged onto to Tumblr dot com and was blessed by this fic like I was literally waiting for it since u teased it and it is SOOOOO FKDJFLDKDKD yes this was fascinating and honestly horrifying like lowkey this is my nightmare but you wrote it so beautifully I'd swallow the poison all the time yknow wow wow wow I wish I were more coherent but I'm still literally in a cinema and I'm scared they'll call me out and claim I'm illegally recording loollllll
😭😭i’m so honored erika LMAO
i knew it was probably not going to be the spencelle fic people were expecting, but i’m glad you enjoyed it still! (or didn’t… but in a good way)
what the fuck bro, that elle x spencer fic, "have a nice life"??? put a fucking warning before you bomb my ass. jesus fuck i'm so incredibly intrigued and obsessed with how you've written them. how you've captured their deep unavailable love for each other. it's so them, raw and human and yet so captivating and beautiful. i swear to fuck if you write a published book one day, you'd be one of the greats, fuck me shakespeare wishes he could of written like you
CRYING oh my god i love u like actually
i literally feel like i scare people off with the tags in the beginning so i try to go gentle lmaoo. next time i will specify that you may or may not get bombed
i'm so happy that you feel like i captured them well. they have such an interesting dynamic that is definitely easy to mess up on. i try to make it unfilitered and raw, honestly because that's what i personally enjoy as a reader, but also because you can't just take a wonderfully complicated pairing and ignore the harder parts about them.
your words mean so, so much to me. genuinely. like my ego is through the roof. thank you!!!!!!!
i just commented on your fic! if you’re open to it, what’s your inspiration for writing? if you read, who’s your favorite author or book? i rarely find writing like yours that doesn’t feel artificial or cheap and i would like to achieve writing anything that can, even remotely, convey the emotions in the way you’re able to. i really admire your work!
yes, hi my lovelie!! i love answering things like this, so i might go overboard, but i hope you can get some insight!! (did indeed go overboard; i can't help it)
the biggest inspiration for me is music. i mean, it's everywhere in every one of my fics. everywhere. a lot of my fic titles are song titles that inspired me. ethel cain is a really big one for me, not just in inspiring my fics, but in inspiring the way i write. she likes to be dramatic in the same way i do, so you might like her!!
lately, i've been reading and searching for a lot of poetry--prose poetry, specifically--and that does a lot for me as well. i find some really good stuff in the pits of pinterest and on small tiktok accounts that post daily poetry from various writers, and some of them are really, really great, even if it sounds a bit silly, lmao. the title of a fic you commented on actually is the title of a poem i read! i wasn't necessarily inspired by the poem itself, but i liked the title and wanted to incorporate it.
as for books, i have to say i've been slacking pretty hard on reading recently, just with how busy i've been, but there definitely have been some writers that have motivated my work. i'd say the first book that i really fell in love with the prose was call me by your name by andre aciman--a classic, of course. it wasn't the plot of the book itself, but moreso the way he wrote that spoke to me the most. i haven't read it in a while, so my opinion might be different now, but i'd say it was my first real inspiration!
my favorite author currently is anais nin, who primarily wrote short stories, diary entries, essays--smaller works that are released in larger books. my favorite is henry and june, a collection of her diary entries when she was in love with henry miller (another writer), and his wife, june. it was the first of her works that i read, and it hasn't been topped since. she does write a bit of erotica, though, which, if that isn't your taste, i might skip out on! (it's more of the raw side of intimacy, not the kind of smut you find on booktok). not for everyone, of course. same with ethel cain. i just prefer artists that aren't for general audiences lmao
i'm gonna try and cut myself off because i can really talk, jesus. but the last thing i wanna say is that film inspires me a lot, too! big fan of david lynch, gregg araki, luca guadagnino. i feel like my writing is more about a vibe, and they get it.
hopefully this gives you something!! writing is tough, and it just takes a little bit of patience. i get very frustrated with myself sometimes, but you're always your worst critic. you'll achieve whatever you put yourself up for!!! if there's anything else you're wondering or would like me to talk about further, don't hesitate to send it in!
thank you so much for your kind words; it makes my whole day. also i answered something a little while ago about my writing process, if you'd like to check that out!
HAVE A NICE LIFE, ELLE GREENAWAY
pairing: spencer reid x elle greenaway description: Spencer was always going to break through, and Elle was always going to leave. Some risks just aren't worth taking. genre: angst w/c: 5k warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (MDNI), power dynamics, trauma & PTSD, mentions of violence, alcohol, biblical imagery, spoilers for Aftermath, flawed characters and even more flawed conversations. overall just a really big character study a/n: i love them both dearly, but they never would have made it. i could give an analysis on every single line of this. seriously. they're so complex, i had to write something complex. masterlist // please reblog to support the fic!
────────────
The first thing Elle felt when she touched Spencer was bone. She found it on a curve, sharp and more of a corner than anything else. Then, on the second, the third, the fourth time, she found more of it protruding, covering organs, keeping him from spilling onto the carpet as a mess of tissue. Eight defined ribs popping from his skin if he inhaled too hard.
i don’t know if it’s just because dale cooper has just been on my mind a lot lately, but him and spencer reid lowkey are becoming more and more similar in my mind😭 especially because i’m in the middle of a spencer x elle fic and the whole ‘white-knight’ thing is going on. does anyone at all catch my drift. is this like way too obscure of a pairing
YES!!! Spencer and Dale!!!! I've always had this little headcanon in mind where I genuinely think Reid would have watched Twin Peaks and took a liking to Dale Cooper due to somewhat seeing himself in him. Imagine how he would have felt discovering another awkward FBI agent, just like him. MGG has also mentioned in the past something like on Spencer's first day at the FBI he transcribed by hand Dale's dictaphone tapes. He posted it on his tumblr, i believe (when he used to post).
okay so i knew NONE of that, oh my god??? mgg knowing and being a fan of dale cooper?? i’m obsessed. that’s actually precious and i’m weirdly emotional probably because i adore all three of them
i don’t know if it’s just because dale cooper has just been on my mind a lot lately, but him and spencer reid lowkey are becoming more and more similar in my mind😭 especially because i’m in the middle of a spencer x elle fic and the whole ‘white-knight’ thing is going on. does anyone at all catch my drift. is this like way too obscure of a pairing
DANTE'S NINTH
pairing: spencer!reid x fem!reader description: Spencer is gentle; you are tired. You eat his burnt eggs in the middle of the night because he stayed up to make them, and neither of you knows how to want less. Or: He comes home late from work again, and you finally have to confront the space. genre: hurt/comfort w/c: 3k warnings/tags: mutual pining (even while together), purposefully flawed characters and conversations, being in love is so hard, implied intimacy, tiny mention of spencer's past addiction, soft angst, no use of y/n a/n: i love making them messy people ugh masterlist // please reblog if you enjoyed!
────────────
"I don’t want to argue. I really don’t like it when we do. I'm not… I'm never good at it." Spencer stands, his palms to the air, something akin to pleading. Is it possible to be skilled at arguing? If it is, he doesn't want to be. He doesn't want to be striking. This is what makes him too gentle.
He doesn't quite know how to place himself. It's not kind, the stillness of space between you. He's kind, you're kind, time is not kind.
oh my god i’m going back to rewatch season one of cm for the first time and i’m quite literally so distraught. like on the verge of crying because of nostalgia. they’re all babies, especially spencer. i MISS him. that’s my baby right there. bisexual and autistic.
(fun fact gideon has always been my favorite—after spence of course)
season one is so so good i’m obsessed. i didn’t appreciate it enough the first time around. what happened???
also… i might be doing this to study a character i’m planning on writing for… if you have a guess…
DANTE'S NINTH
pairing: spencer!reid x fem!reader description: Spencer is gentle; you are tired. You eat his burnt eggs in the middle of the night because he stayed up to make them, and neither of you knows how to want less. Or: He comes home late from work again, and you finally have to confront the space. genre: hurt/comfort w/c: 3k warnings/tags: mutual pining (even while together), purposefully flawed characters and conversations, being in love is so hard, implied intimacy, tiny mention of spencer's past addiction, soft angst, no use of y/n a/n: i love making them messy people ugh masterlist // please reblog if you enjoyed!
────────────
"I don’t want to argue. I really don’t like it when we do. I'm not… I'm never good at it." Spencer stands, his palms to the air, something akin to pleading. Is it possible to be skilled at arguing? If it is, he doesn't want to be. He doesn't want to be striking. This is what makes him too gentle.
He doesn't quite know how to place himself. It's not kind, the stillness of space between you. He's kind, you're kind, time is not kind.
STRENGTH HURTS STRENGTH HURTS STRENGTH HURTS ILL SAY IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Im gonna be so honest with you - I love that you make them messy people. In my head, they're always soft and calm but they're messy, thank you for making them messy.
Am I going crazy or did I pick up a circle metaphor??? That it never changes even when you want it to, that the circle of hell will always call out to you, that the burnt eggs stay burnt even when you try your hardest? The circle metaphor??? The circular stairs of knowing that conversation leads to nowhere when the circumstances lock you in???
I actually love you, the imposter syndrome is my mortal enemy rn, you deserve the most. Like always always, love your work. Love them. Lov the pain you put me through <3 💕💕💕💕💕💕 please never stop writing x
(did you get my other reblog?)
YES YES YES STRENGTH DOES HURT!!!!!! i like making him wrong sometimes🫠
