“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later

A 2025 update

i've died on smaller hills, so i can't judge. but i do think it's funny whenever posts about the proper definition of a poor little meow meow circulate, considering none of them mention that the origin was a kpop fan's absolutely bonkers tweet about not being able to protect a full grown man who was getting backlash for including audio from the jonestown cult leader jim jones in one of his songs

I was clearly not at the devils sacrament what the fuck

You don't have to make them fuck but they're not allowed to be normal about each other.

I think I’m falling behind in pop culture can we stop writing books and making movies until I catch up. something crazy is about to happen to gilgamesh

Information Wall (with Hat)

a wasp made this post

"do it scared" is valuable advice but it'd also be SIIIICK and AWESOME if it stopped being scary at some point. any point

"I need to stop starting fandom projects so I stop disappointing people."

Stop treating yourself like you are the workers at a fast food franchise.

Your writing is a hobby, don't let it turn into a source of guilt, shame and frustration instead of a source of joy.

Sometimes I really need to tell myself this.

i got a 100% on this bostonian-to-english quiz but i grew up near boston..... i'm curious what you guys get. there's a couple things in here i didn't even know are regionalisms + a couple things i hadn't heard before but could parse pretty easily from context. tag/reply with what you got and if you're familiar with the area or not!

so soothing. cancel my appts. gonna be watching a bubble freeze in real time for the foreseeable

that is insanely cool and also how I mentally picture setting wards

I had previously seen the bottom image with zero context like 5 times before finally finding the context post and that’s why I love tumblr.

This is basically the opening of Augustine’s Confessions

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves A stately pleasure-dome decreed. And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

they fuck you up your mum and dad two vast and trunkless legs of stone i do not like it, sam i am as small as a world and as large as alone

God moves in a mysterious way:

He gives his harness bells a shake.

What will survive of him is love

If he should die before he wake.

I had a dream, which was not all a dream. See in her cell sad Eloisa spread, Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars. I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

A sudden blow: the great wings beating still Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.

If I should die, think only this of me, Between what I see and what I say, In this short Life that only lasts an hour Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Westron wynde, when wilt thou blow? Tie up the knocker, say I’m sick, I’m dead. I learn by going where I have to go.

But I am done with apple-picking now, I thank whatever gods may be; I never saw a purple cow, I think that I shall never see.

I have a rendezvous with Death, She walks in beauty like the night – Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, So on we worked, and waited for the light.

Thank you @mugwomps this is the brain equivalent of one of those massages where they hit you

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.

The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.

I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.

"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"

i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.

therefore, the Default Object is:

and i still cannot think of anything that matches this

behold, the default object!

of fucking course