The most insane lines delivered within Remedy's history of games. (From Alan Wake 2's "Night Springs" DLC)

little promo for tonights episode of steven universe by me n lamar!!! this is my favorite episode <3

Mystery Inc's Survival Horrorween 🔪

i like nice people and insane perverts, two categories with a lot more overlap than i was led to believe

btw having curly hair but not being taught how to care about it as a child means that even if you are white, the majority of hair advice being given by other white people is useless and actively harmful to you, so you literally owe everything you know to black and brown women online

Don't get me wrong, I love Destiny 2 raids but sometimes it's like, Okay PEECHAN1000 we'll do the complex stuff, here's what we need you to do: first you have to kill the 17 elite wizards in this room without getting hit by the global shockwave that goes off every 5 seconds (it will instakill you and everyone will have to restart the entire encounter) then you'll get two buffs, one will last for 30 seconds, the other for 20 seconds. When the first buff runs out, but before the second buff runs out, you'll have a ten second window to pick up one of three glowing orbs hidden around the room (to find out which one you need, determine which day of the week and the exact minute on the hour it is and follow the flow chart we posted in discord) then run to a square that is not the boss's least favorite color and do three counter clockwise circles and shoot the smallest of 50 knights exactly ten times. If you did it correctly you will hear a tiger's growl, if you did it incorrectly you will hear a lion's growl. If you don't do this in time, we wipe. Do all of that three more times, this will open the passage to where we'll deal damage to the boss, but don't go though it yet! Next you'll have 30 seconds to run seven laps around this spire of floating platforms while jumping through rings, each lap you will pass a large projection of one of the presidents of the united states, decide which president this is and make a mental note of each president's full name and consecutive years in office and birthday. Then you'll have 20 seconds to call out to us the name of every president you did not see while running laps. It will be more helpful to the rest of us if you could list them in reverse alphabetical order. This will give you a buff which will last for 10 seconds and will allow you to deal damage to the boss. Now let's go over damage phase. Remember the years those seven president's were in office and their birthdays?

And my friends will be like, "don't worry it'll make more sense when we do it". And they somehow could not be more right.

u have to be careful when drawing fat characters cuz there's always a chance some freak will call it a heccin chonkerino

you should be killed with rocks and stones

Does he have "nonbinary vibes" or is he just east asian

TOOLTIP: you can get more funny juice by performing the "jerking off" activity. find it by selecting genitals from your inventory!

> use genitals

You can't use that right now!

> use hand on genitals

You can't use that right now!

> use genitals on hand

You can't use that right now!

> help

I don't know that word.

You are clobbered by the OGRE!

You have lost your genitals. . .

man fuck this game

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

Turn to page 14 to climb into the clowns jaws.

Turn to page 6 to turn around and walk away.

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

my favorite greentext is white woman spotted

me

*tamp tamp*

ah i see youve noticed me tamping down the soft earth

there’s this term i coined in my friendgroup i call “the charizard effect” and it can apply to anything and everything, but it was born from me explaining my feelings about the pokemon charizard. the term is basically about how overexposure to something be it by corporate shilling or fandom prominence drives me away from really enjoying something bc i’m exposed to it so much against my will i become tired of it. it came to me bc i was ranting about how tpci does not, and cannot stop reinventing charizard, and how it is popular and obtusely included in almost every region, merch, etc in every way possible and it’s highly commodified.

i dont dislike the pokemon charizard, in fact i really like its X form, but i am exposed to so much charizard in my pokemon consumption that i cant be bothered to care for it in any more than in passing. this applies to a bunch of other stuff i’d otherwise be ok with, but i always just call this aversion phenomena “the charizard effect”

making this term has done numbers for me being able to concisely express how i feel abt something. like. its not charizard’s fault i feel this way, im sure i’d feel normal abt it if it was stripped of all this over commodification, but i cannot. hence the name

Finally broke down and looked up "67" on wikipedia today, and i love that wikipedia had to include the fact that people are using the meme as evidence of "brain rot" in younger generations because of how low-effort it is. And like, i have no horse in this race, i'm clearly out of touch enough with what the kids are saying that i have to go look up memes on the internet to understand them, but brain rot? I'm pretty sure kids have been saying random numbers as memes since... like, the beginning of language. the beginning of numbers. I'm guessing that some time around 15,000 years ago in hunter-gatherer tribes all around the world a scene played out where one kid shouted "hey look, four rocks!" after seeing a few rocks on the ground, and every other kid in the tribe shouted "four rocks! four rocks!" and the adults just stood around like "what the fuck are the kids on about now?" and then had to live with the kids saying "four rocks!" every time they saw four of literally any object together. Like, this does not seem like a new phenomenon.

You make a compelling point. Especially because "four rocks" IS hella fun to say. Thanks for the new way to confuse my friends when hiking!

four rocks!!!

four rocks!!!

four rocks!!!

Four rocks!!!

what have i done