joke’s on darcy, lizzie happens to be besties with mrs collins so do you know what that means? visits. do you know who mrs collins will inevitably bring WITH her???

mr collins. buckle in for some one-sided conversations on the grandeur of pemberley and how there is but one estate only marginally finer, he thinks you will no doubt agree, which can only be, of course, rosing’s park, which can be viewed by his own very humble abode

they’ll all have their dinner and the women will retreat to another room and darcy will stare very, very imploringly to his wife to please, stay. like, please. this man doesn’t shut up. surely you want to talk to him. let’s tag team. please lizzie. he will ask of nothing from you for an entire fortnight if you please actually stay in the same room so mr collins will have SOMEWHERE ELSE to direct his onslaught of ass kissing. lizzie. lizzie.

This is why the Bingleys and the Collinses are invited at the same time.

Meanwhile Lizzie, Jane, and Charlotte are in the parlor, placing bets on how long before Darcy cracks, practically CHUGS his port, and bolts, “WHO WANTS TEA?!?!?!? LET’S JOIN THE LADIES AND HAVE TEA!!!!!!”

Darcy at the table counting down the 45-ish minutes until it’s socially acceptable to retreat to the drawing room

Mr. Collins is not coming on these visits! Charlotte has ensured that he understands how absolutely indispensable he is to Lady Catherine and what a massive insult it would be to his noble patroness if he were to voluntarily spend time with her wayward nephew. Meanwhile it is nevertheless absolutely vital that she herself does accept the invitation in order to soothe away the probable offence given to Mr. and Mrs. Darcy occasioned by Mr. Collins’ refusal.

Eventually Lizzie’s father dies and the Collinses move to Longbourne and now Mr Collins comes on visits

But by this point Charlotte has gotten him into beekeeping so all Darcy has to do is ask after the bees and then tune out for a hour

I love the amount of hatred the 2021 car is drawn with. because I agree

I think maybe the most ironic part of the white supremacist “Muslims are taking over Europe, save European culture and its people!” rhetoric is that they’ve been saying it for the past 1,300 years. No exaggeration. This is something they’ve been fearmongering about since the 8th century.

I can't believe the 8th century was 1300 years ago. I feel old

My boyfriend, again blending together fanfiction tropes: So what if when you finally find your soulmate, that’s when you discover if you’re alpha or omega, right?

Me, hands shaking as I frantically search for pen & paper: KEEP TALKING

Me: Seems hellish

Boyfriend: So does being an ant person

Me: Again, baby, they’re not ants

Boyfriend: YES THEY ARE. They communicate via pheromones— LIKE ANTS.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing….

Boyfriend: You could trick them into following orders and thinking they’re dead by spraying them with a spritz bottle. I think they need a queen.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing…. Seems hellish!

Boyfriend: Not really. If being around the other person is what triggers the changes, if you want to go back to normal… all you need to do is leave.

Me, writing: (You found your soulmate. It’s changing you in scary ways. All you need to do is leave… how difficult would it be to leave? What pressures exist to stay?)

Boyfriend: So these ant-people—

Me: OMEGAVERSE IS NOT ANTS!!!!!!

the AI bros are always trying to install in us this fear of falling behind and being abandoned by society if we won't start using AI, and let me just say - men have been telling me I'll "end up alone with seven cats if I don't give them a chance" for AGES. I can smell the barely hidden desperation underneath that axe body spray like a shark, and boy am I about to make you cry from frustration

extremely funny to me that harley quinns real name is apparently harleen quinzel, a name that sounds less real that harley quinn. they should do that with more comic characters. batman real name batthew manning. daredevil real name darius devilson. doctor strange real name. well okay that one doesnt count.

I have some very good news for you about Black Bolt's real name

NOW THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT

Be honest: Have you ever loved reading fanfiction for a pairing you don't actually know, without any intention to ever read or watch the actual source material?

it probably feels kind of good to get forcibly shut down as a frozen computer

Keith Haring painting Grace Jones while Eartha Kitt looks on, New Year's Eve, Paradise Garage, New York City, 1987. Photo by Tseng Kwong Chi

Bruno Rosso, Snowfall in Venice, 1965

Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won't let you copy and paste:

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

hi guys! discord is doing a survey on how people would like ai to be integrated into discord. take it and say fuck no to every question. when you get to "in general, how do you feel about discord inegrating ai features?", respond that you would actively get everyone you know off of discord and wouldn't pay for nitro or other shop items if they added ai features.

watch out for the trap! there's ONE QUESTION where the last option *isn't* the max 'no AI' option, read each part carefully to be sure

Everyone's all "ohhh 2026 bring back physical media" until I start talking illuminated manuscripts and then suddenly we're not on the same page anymore

I made an illuminated manuscript skin for AO3? So im doing my part!