Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is the weirdest ADHD symptom ever. Like hello yes my weird brain chemistry manifests as Whiny Crybaby Disorder

btw this is not a universally agreed upon "symptom" of ADHD and I think many people would benefit from treating it as part & parcel of ADHD's broad, foundational trait: inability to do emotional regulation. A feeling of total rejection and terror at failure is a treatable and manageable issue. For me, I found it easier to manage once recognized that the reason I was having these reactions is that like many other emotional states, I couldn't "exit" an emotional state related to feelings of rejection once I was in it.

imo way too many people are going through life thinking they're just going to be sensitive to rejection for life because of how some people (not OP, but definitely plenty of ADHD influencers) talk about this "symptom." I don't think it's terribly productive that it gets constantly cordoned off as its own thing. like a lot of ADHD, while it sucks to have it shape your life up to the point you realize what it is, it is indeed possible to exposure therapy & DBT your way out of it.

signed: someone with ADHD who used to not be able to take critical feedback from anyone every and is now a freelancer and gets critical feedback three times before breakfast. still workin on it but it's very possible to go from "whiny crybaby disorder" to "mostly functional, if slightly sensitive ADHD adult"

I also think it's worth noting that rejection sensitive dysphoria is most parsimoniously interpreted as a trauma reaction—a learned response to a potential signals of social relationship deteriorating for reasons the ADHD person can't necessarily control. Social relationships are incredibly important to humans, and ADHD (especially undiagnosed and undisclosed) really sets us up to fail. This is especially true given that perceived social blame for stressful situations is a massive factor in transmuting stressful experiences into lasting trauma, and ADHDers are typically judged to be personally responsible for the failures that happen as a result of attentional, time awareness, or memory failures.

What conceptualizing RSD as a category of trauma response to social triggers does is allow us to treat it like any other trauma response. It pulls RSD out of the bioessentialist framework and into the realm of injuries that can be treated, learned associations that can be unlearned. It turns out that the same techniques that help with PTSD triggers, including the same damn meds (hi, clonidine), are effective for helping reduce RSD. (It also explains why RSD is also common in autistic people, who often have a similar history of social error and narratives of self blame, without requiring inherent neurological differences.)

It's a common kind of stress injury, basically. It's not Whiny Crybaby Disorder; it's more like shin splints. Getting better shoes for running, being careful about the ground you run on, and letting the splints heal properly can all help make shin splints go away when you've been running barefoot on concrete roads your whole life.

annoying when shows set in the medieval period have the women with thier hair just long and unstyled and out . girl go put on your wimple girl 🤦‍♀️

like there are so many fun medieval hair and headgear options, it's so boring just seeing loose beachy waves meant to appeal to 21st century beauty standards

put that hot prince in a gay little hood with an ostrich feather or so help me god

ACTUALLY, MAD RESPECT HE WAS A MACHINE.

To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardian’s rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed he’d forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying ‘if I’d known you hadn’t left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,’ then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancé, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.

Knowing all this has always made this bit of Beren’s song instantly reduce me to tears:

Tolkien straight up wrote a poem that said “the world could end, but it wouldn’t have all been pointless, because she was in this world, however briefly, and that justified all the rest.” Kills me.

Who can outdo Wife Guy Tolkien? Dude was writing elaborate AUs where his wife is an impossibly beautiful magic-wielding immortal elf princess who fights Satan and wins to rescue her human boyfriend from Satan’s doom fortress. Flawless.

Final note: while they were dating, a favorite activity was to go to a local cafe with a balcony and throw sugar cubes into people's hats.

In today's linguistics class we talked about metaphors, and we really want two of the ones we talked about to become conventionalised.

So first of all this one girl told us about a newer metaphor in Russian, "I have paws", which is something you say when you don't really want to do something, so you say you're incapable of doing it since you have paws instead of hands. Like, "hey, finish that report" "aw but I have paws :(" and I think that's adorable. It's like "I'm just a girl" but for animals.

We also had the task to invent a novel metaphor and have the others guess what it means, and the teacher really liked my "she's such a capybara" = "everyone loves her". Capybara energy is like golden retriever energy except you're chill about it. You're just vibing and everyone digs that.

Anyway I think these deserve to become more common in English

VERY important addition oh my gosh,,,

"why do you keep calling things you find beautiful, inexplicable, and unsettling angels" i'm just doing what british wartime radar technicians did first

it was birds btw

↑ angel

not gonna say it again!!!!

a BOG is a wetland that is acidic

a FEN is a wetland that is alkaline

FINALLY someone said it!!!!!!!

a SWAMP is a wetland that can support trees a MARSH is a wetland that cannot support trees

tumblr posts like this do more for the education system than any public school in america

Op is the only one still alive here

YES YES YES YES YES I WORK IN A TIDAL SALT MARSH AND YES I CAN CONFIRM, THE MARSH IS LARGELY MADE OF PEAT AND SEDIMENT, ABSOLUTELY NO WOODY PLANTS

i love explaining the etymology of the word "rickroll" because the story starts with "ok, so at one point 4chan applied a filter to everyone's posts that changed the word egg to duck"

Does anybody have that image of what cyberpunk dialogue is like. "to crack a cyber lemon this nasty" or whatever

That's the bitch

If you want an idea what more authentic oldschool hacking language sounds like, there is an absolutely ANCIENT webpage called the Jargon File (seems to have been updated from the early 80s up through 2004), aka the New Hacker’s Dictionary, that kept a record. It’s not far from Gibson’s idea but if anything it sounds even dorkier, peppered with coding terms and prehistoric memes

official linguistics post

Really cool graphic broadly explaining how we've selectively bred dogs over millenia for different jobs. Drives like herding and guarding prey animals may seem counterintuitive to the dogs' nature but these actions are in fact rooted in ancestral hunting instincts, we've just "muted" down the rest of the hunt sequence resulting in a kill (but even well bred dogs need training!). This is also why crossing dogs belonging to different job types should be carefully thought out, if your breeding goals are a calm nonworking companion animal the last thing you want is to breed is a royal flush of this predatory sequence.

ive always been willing to die on the hill of cis women being able to beat cis men in sports so nobody will ever ever make me concerned about trans women in womens sports even if i was delusional enough to believe that was a comparable situation. do i think a cis woman could beat a trans woman in fucking pickleball or whatever? Buddy I think a cis woman could beat a cis male bodybuilder in sports. You will not get me

this feels too important (and correct!!) to leave in the notes

Women outperform men in many sports, and in many instances, the men's versions of these sports are rewritten into completely different versions so that they can't be compared.

And if your reaction to this is "well women don't outperform men in skills that we typically find impressive" I would implore you to think about why things women tend to be better at than men are valued less by society.

If your reaction is "well that's cherrypicking examples, its such a small handful of formalized sports" I'd implore you to think of why so many popular sports are structured around the specific set of skills men are better at.

Because the answer starts with m and ends with isogyny.

ily, menswear guy

genuinely wheezing laughing at this description of dicken's awful pet with lead poisoning

important thing i forgot to mention: i looked this up bc adam read a thing about how dicken's pet was an inspiration for poe's "the raven" and we were like "well thats not true" but now that ive looked it up, i believe it

Yep! Dickens cited Grip as inspiration for the talking raven in his novel Barnaby Rudge, and Poe was one of its earliest critics (literary critic here being a career title, poe quite liked the work), and he spent time in his review discussing how raven could have been utilized to a stronger effect. Some time later, he used that concept in The Raven.

Dickens was distraught at Grip's passing and had him preserved. He currently resides in the US, in the Free Library of Philadelphia's rare books archive in Pennsylvania and can be visited with appointment.

@hydrofelicity Good stranger, pray do not hide this gem amongst the tags

Grip has her own Wikipedia page!

Lin-Manuel Miranda: this woman did all this cool stuff in her life!

Me: SO cool!

LMM: ...because she thought her husband would have done all of those things if he'd lived longer :) :) :)

Me: Um.

Maybe it's just me but I never thought that just because after her list of accomplishments comes the line "you could have done so much more if you only had time" was intended to imply that the only reason she did those things was because he didn't in any other sense than the problems she helped solve still being problems

See, it's not just that one line. There's also "I ask myself what would you do if you had more time," and "and when my time is up, have I done enough? Will they tell your story?" (Which is a history worker I would take in a different light if she had been like… An early historian or something. But most of what she's doing is humanitarian work. She DID try very hard to protect his legacy in real life, but she did other things too, and probably for her own reasons)

Which to me seems to be implying that all of her accomplishments are just what she thought Alexander would have done if he lived longer and ways to immortalize him, because the song mentions that idea not once, but twice 

The musical in general has issues with the way it portrays women, in my opinion. Angelica's romantic situation is reduced to "she couldn't have Alexander Hamilton, so she married some rich guy instead" when in reality she was actually already married when they met – to a man who was in the colonies under an assumed name escaping gambling debts in England, with whom she had eloped. Actually, Elizabeth was the only Schuyler sister who DIDN'T elope, including the two younger ones, Cornelia and Catherine, who didn't make it into the musical 

So it's taking away her agency in that particular relationship, and reducing her to someone who missed out on a man because those darn women are just so indecisive!!! Rather than a woman who seems to have been in love with two men at the same time and not seen any issue in that, which to my mind would've been much more interesting, complicated, and true to who she was

And don't even talk to me about the handling of Maria Reynolds. I'm sorry, but turning a woman who married a much older abusive man at 15 and was basically pimped out by him to a politician as part of an extortion scheme – and whose life was ruined years later by the same politician publishing an account of their affair to clear his own name, when she had finally gotten away from her husband's tyranny -into a Sexy Sexy Seductress(TM) is. Really really not OK with me

Like I said, it's a great musical artistically speaking, but I feel like it has some serious issues with female characters 

seriously though historical/period piece musicals have a tendency to omit women from groups

like Disney removed four of the nine muses for WHAT PURPOSE

and only three of the Schuyler sisters were allowed in Hamilton

idk why musical writers do this

Oh no, to me the more insidious thing was leaving out the Schuyler BROTHERS

Or rather, completely misunderstanding how a woman's life worked back then

It wouldn't matter even if her father "had no son" (he had multiple). It was still her job to make the best possible marriage, not so much for the status of her family, but for her own future support. Because for a woman of that social class in that place and time, she was basically picking her career. Choosing a husband and choosing how you would be supported for the rest of your life, based on his finances and prospects

... and some women still said "fuck it" and married men who were not in any kind of position to provide a comfortable life for them, because they were in love. You know. Women like Angelica Schuyler Church- whose husband John Church would make a fortune as a military contractor during the revolution, but had not yet done that when they met in 1776. Hence why they eloped

The positioning the whole thing as "oh, he doesn't have sons, so his daughters have to worry about marrying well" is just another part of shifting it into a love triangle necessitated by the era. Rather than a situation of a woman who followed her heart even when society and her family were against it- even when she could've lost her entire privileged lifestyle as a result

It's basically the polar opposite of her being too indecisive and wanting someone richer, which is portrayed as the downfall of her affection for Alexander Hamilton in the musical 

But I mean, hey, this is based on a biography by a man who is frequently noted to have ignored Elizabeth Hamilton's actual personality (which was frequently noted as stubborn and impulsive during her lifetime) in favor of conflating her with his dead wife, so… There's that 

my notes are blowing up again they must've changing something abou the tumblr ui

made stuff nicer and also added an option to explode the extra reblog menu to click through

I feel less like I am going crazy after stumbling into a radfem doing out in the open organized spam reporting / callout campaigning, gloating and reporting "success stories." It was like a little refreshing reminder that feeling isolated and lost isn't some inexplicable breakdown of organization, but more like an ongoing campaign of shit-stirring from the same place it always comes from. Anyway had a little block party over it.

Although like, if there's someone really openly organizing harassment of trans femmes by mass reporting them as spam. You know what. What would be hilarious.

She's having a hammer car explosion style shit fit as the prompt, so to speak. Though if I get my account smashed in the next month or so, you'll know who done it.

Not suggesting anything but it's just really interesting to see that there's one radfem poster who has 100% got trans accounts deleted, and she specified it was by organized mass reporting them as spam - not harassment, etc. Like, that mass spam reporting of individual accounts is confirmed to work. And her individual account, y'know, is like, if it was deleted, it's 100% guaranteed that one of the causes of trans femme blog deletion would be removed, since she's organizing those kinds of campaigns, and posting instructions on how mass reporting accounts as spam can get them deleted. It's like, interesting information.

I think I've added a thousand new blocks in the past hour, rare to find one blog so openly organizing to get blogs removed by mass reporting one blog as spam where I don't need to look at anyone's posts - I know anyone who liked or reblogged the account is supporting harassment.

There's a lot of interesting mechanical parts to a large amount of harassment from a small group. Like, one person with a shorter reach, for example, the person doing the trans femme spam reporting, can have almost her entire circle of followers blocked in, well, about an hour. Because that changes the difficulty of spam reporting, it cuts down the participants.

If your circle is larger, it gets more difficult to cordon things off. However, there is a degree of social pressure that impacts the spread of these things. Radfems are a good illustration of this, because we know they are notorious for deliberately misrepresenting trans people as violent (indeed, in their eyes being transgender is enough to be considered violent), pretenting obvious fantasy or hyperbole is literal truth, treating consenting sexual behavior as violence, and so on. Basically, we know radfems lie about trans people, sex workers, and kink. The resultant social pressure means that calling out to harass a trans femme is unlikely to spread beyond radfem circles, although they're fond of sending anons to trans blogs to stir up shit, as well as once in a rare while sock puppeting harassment. So, that limits the spread and you can do an easy containment.

On the other hand, if information is put out by a person with a larger following, or spread by an extremely influential person, it might get past its limitation to radfem tumblr, and be taken as reliable, which is a reason why We Don't Share Callout Posts. That said, an informational post about how to leverage the harassment strategies used by radfems against trans people is the type of information that is not a callout, and doesn't not incur the same sort of negative social pressure as siding with a hategroup. Indeed, in many ways such a post would almost feel like it's important to share, as the amount of online harassment and blog deletion of trans femmes on tumblr is widely known. A generally progressive leaning social media site like tumblr might even want to blow up the post notifications, so that it would hit mass propagation, and make it impossible for the radfems running the harassment campaign to cordon it off. Especially with one radfem blog being so open about calling for people to mass report one blog as spam, and get trans femme blogs deleted, using a tactic that really anyone could use, even as a way to put a guaranteed stop to someone who has by her own proclamation got trans femme blogs taken down in that very way.

I mean a post explaining that, if it went viral, that would make it very difficult to keep harassing trans people.

At the risk of sounding paranoid, there is some amount of decentralization going on as the initial point of harassment seems to be inactive, which could be purposeful, or could be organic. In the same hypothetical terms, these slightly more disparate canpaigns of harassment by radfems could continue to be addressed via the same method as the original radfem blogger used to harass trans femmes, by a combination of blocking and reporting as spam the people engaging with these posts.

In my own experience with this kind of thing, I find it's useful to slightly distort the name of the accounts involved in the campaigns, should they be identified anywhere, such as added breaks and swapping numbers with letters. Additionally, do not reply or reblog these harassment posts. By identifying radical feminist blogs who participate in harassment while leaving the harassment post itself untouched, you create an easily accessible list of accounts which do not require any review. When any of these posts are shared confrontationally, it hinders containment.

These types of situations, where a hate group is openly identifying themselves, their methods of harassment, and have created central points of convergence, are rare. Keeping a record of harassment blogs while limiting any engagement other than the spam reporting and blocking (which seem to be effective?), it not only reduces the reach of harassment but makes these groups easier to remove from the larger online community. Look but don't touch serves us all.