Actually genuinenly enjoying my customer service job sometimes

Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”

Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*

Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”

Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*

Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”

Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*

Customer: “Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”

me: “I love and forgive him.”

Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”

Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*

Hey, put on a coat! It’s like 20 degrees outside!

aww, someone made snow angles

as you get older, you start realizing that you are not always right and there’s a lot of things you could have handled better and many situations where you could have been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.

people say non-passing trans men get treated like defective women and that's true but so do passing trans men. you can look fully like a man with a beard, flat chest. even a phalloplasty and if one transphobic jerk in your life knows you are trans they will NEVER address you as a man even if you are indistinguishable from a cis man. you can look like a whole ass lumberjack and still get introduced as somebody's daughter. for most, the only way to be seen and acknowledged as a man is full and total stealth, keeping your trans identity a secret, cutting out anyone in you life that knows you used to be a woman. and that's not a good thing. we talk about pride as being fully and unabashedly ourselves, and there is no pride in hiding your trans identity and pretending to be cis just so you can have respect and be treated like a man

The whiplash of having a person's perception of me go overnight from "what a nice man" to "what a manipulative, mentally ill woman" is very real and I continue to experience it, even this deep into my transition.

And half the time, it kicks off because someone else is simply fucking bored and just wants to gossip.

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

For context

You have been booped by this empty wrapping paper tube.

Reblog to boop all of your followers with it.

humans will see a swamp and build a city on it and then spend the next 2,000+ years struggling to keep it from turning back into a swamp

Shout out to the doctor who responded with complete sincerity when I (on anesthesia) uttered the phrase “chat are we cooked” in her medical professional vicinity. You’re such a real one for that fr fr

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

Yeah okay, I'll rebark that!

This tweet is almost 3 years old has been relevant since the day it was posted

every gear in my body is fine tuned to make the worst posts

nimble fingers and sharp minds assembled me in perfect co-ordination so I could post like this

i am a masterpiece nobody left their name upon

in thousands of years my silt-encrusted mechanisms will be dredged from the depths of the sea and archaeologists will agree this thing sucked

nobody will know exactly what this thing did but everyone will have an inkling that it was bad at it

(realising im speaking too much on our first date) so yeah thats enough about me, tell me about yourself

MY TA SHOT SOMEONE IN THE FOOT AND THE PROFESSOR WAS SO FUCKING QUICK LMAOOO

some context 

1. my TA, Ralph, shot his girlfriend’s abusive ex in the foot

2. abusive ex was also a sex offender

3. he shot him when ex came buy to pick some stuff up from girlfriend and tried to take some of Ralph’s items as well

4. ex is stable and alive in a hospital

5. i didn’t do assignment 8 so i am very happy

some more Facts About Ralph

he is whiter then snow. this man is pure 100% american redneck in everything but the politics. this is intimidating if you dont know him because he owns like 3 different guns but also has animated discussions about “how his sister should be able to get married” when you bring up lgbt rights. his sister isnt even gay or trans or anything, he just thinks that LGBT rights also means that the lady should propose when she wants to. hes a little confused but he got the spirit. upon finding out that i am queer he said, word for word “THATS FUCKING RADICAL HOMIE” 

in the first week of school he snorted a line of pepper in the cafeteria and threw up.

the only other crime hes committed before was accidently dropping a weight from his balcony and cracking the sidewalk. which is technically destruction of public property but the judge basically laughed at him and have him 10 hours of community service

this man once walked me home when i stayed late at the lab and talked to me animatedly about breeding brine shrimp for different lab purposes. absolutely captivated by this discussion. i trust him with my life

oh mg god this post somehow got better

Ralph has achieved Peak Graduate Student

fuck it, I'm actually going to finish Ward this time

side note, glad to see that my first impressions of Victoria from when I tried the first time are still the same and I wasn't misremembering- I do like her more than Taylor. So far.

good news, I've gotten past where I stopped last time! actually reading arc 4 this time lmao

I have to make mistakes in order to learn & grow

I have to make bad art and fic in order to get better

SUPER TOP SECRET WORK HACK!!! If you explicitly tell people, "You are an adult and a professional, I trust you to do your job; just keep me in the loop and let me know if there are questions," then thank and/or praise them when they accomplish your mutual goals? they will keep doing things for and with you. Sometimes they will even side with you over other people in the organization, because you've taken the time to establish that baseline respect and trust! hashtag winning or whatever

I just want to say this can work with kids too, mostly because of the 'respect' thing.

This past month, Parks & Rec has been doing a lot of work on the field adjacent to my school. They have trucks with flatbeds, mowing/tree-cutting/postholing machinery, etc. And when they arrived, I (campus monitor) was told I would need to herd the kids away from the trucks/machinery and basically prevent them from creating a dangerous situation.

So when recess came around and the kids stampeded out the door I held them up and I said (being funny but at the same time serious, you know how it is, kids listen better if you're funny)

"Okay, I know that you're all smart AND mature, right? And talented and good looking? Definitely the smartest and most talented class in this school? (I say this to every class, they're all 'my favorites'.) And because you're SO intelligent and mature, I don't need to actually TELL you that these guys have vehicles and machinery that you need to stay clear of, right? Because I know you figured that out already, and I also know that YOU know how sad I would be if any of you were run over, or squashed, or had a pole fall on you. I would be SO SAD, like, I would probably have to lie down on the floor and cry. So you're not going to make me cry, right? I can trust you to stay away from the trucks and machines no matter where they are on the field? Because you're wonderful and amazing? My favorites? My inspiration?"

And they're laughing at me of course, because I'm being so dramatic. Some of them are "Yes, and-"ing my dramatics and inventing more involved mourning processes I should undertake if any of them get run over. Some of them are yelling at me that they are NOT mature yet and they are VERY STUPID and I should know this.

It's been three weeks. We had one conversation about it. None of them have gone anywhere near the trucks. This is actually in excess of the typical elementary-schooler's working memory and I'm very proud of them. I haven't had to blow the whistle at ONE person for getting too close even when the trucks were literally 40 feet from the actual playground.

"I know I can trust you to do this", even when phrased with humor, is like a magic key that unlocks teamwork+cooperation.

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?