Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won't let you copy and paste:

god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you

ohhh fuck yeah, you understand

Brotherhood of The Orb

My abortion was really one the most hated kind of abortion. I wasn't underage. I wasn't raped. I wasn't in medical need.

I got pregnant not through some fluke or 1 in a 100 contraceptive failure. I got pregnant because I was knowingly and willfully having unprotected sex. Out of wedlock too if that matters.

It was my own fault, I was being irresponsible because I knew I could always get an abortion if I got pregnant. My abortion was as close as it comes to 'using abortion as a contraceptive' as anti-choicers love to say.

I didn't abort it because my health was in danger or because I didn't have the ability to care for it or whatever else. I did it purely because I didn't want a child. I wanted sex and I didn't want to deal with any consequences from it.

There's no moral here. I don't feel bad about it whatsoever. I suffered no karmic consequences or punishment from god. My life is amazing. I want to rub this in the face of every conservative and anti-choicer. I did the terrible thing. I had an abortion for the most selfish of reasons and literally nothing happened. Suck it.

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

AFTER????? AFTER!!!????

mad about being chronically ill so I baked a cake about it

what about blorbhov from my complicated russian novel though

blorbeaux from my nilihist french plays

blorbón from my weird latin american magical realist novels

blorbug from my kafkaesque short stories

von blorbow from my german sturm und drang novel

Don Blorbo from my opera

błórbżo from my polish poetry

blorbocles from my ancient greek epics

Mr. Blorby from my Jane Austen novels

Blorbio from my early modern plays

Assembling some more from the notes:

And the kicker:

useless rosetta stone

Waiting for Blorbot

I think one of my favourite trends in history is when two very different but somewhat equally footed cultures meet and get mutually delighted by this New And Exotic Thing that's now briefly insanely fashionable. Like oh wow you have fancy textiles I have never seen? Let me seeeee. Tradies for this kind that we have here? Yeah this pattern depicts these ornamental garden pets that we- oh you don't have those? Would you like one? I love how you used that new kind of feather for that thing that you usually use for traditional feather decor. I am wearing Your Type Of Hat as a fashion statement with my outfit.

I know that there's always bleak and boring geopolitical bullshit going on with every interaction between cultures, but I do still think it's fun when two completely different cultures mutually decide that this one they just met is now Highly Fashionable, and swap everything from art subjects and methods to clothing styles and delicacies, like a giddy mutual girl crush or friendly cats rubbing their faces to each other in order to match their scent.

Buying gifts for people is terrible. You start out thinking “what would make them happiest to recieve?” or “if I were in their postition, what would I want?” but then the answer to both of those questions is “a magical sword that has Powers” and they don’t sell those at the mall

My boyfriend, again blending together fanfiction tropes: So what if when you finally find your soulmate, that’s when you discover if you’re alpha or omega, right?

Me, hands shaking as I frantically search for pen & paper: KEEP TALKING

Me: Seems hellish

Boyfriend: So does being an ant person

Me: Again, baby, they’re not ants

Boyfriend: YES THEY ARE. They communicate via pheromones— LIKE ANTS.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing….

Boyfriend: You could trick them into following orders and thinking they’re dead by spraying them with a spritz bottle. I think they need a queen.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing…. Seems hellish!

Boyfriend: Not really. If being around the other person is what triggers the changes, if you want to go back to normal… all you need to do is leave.

Me, writing: (You found your soulmate. It’s changing you in scary ways. All you need to do is leave… how difficult would it be to leave? What pressures exist to stay?)

Boyfriend: So these ant-people—

Me: OMEGAVERSE IS NOT ANTS!!!!!!

ok maybe now is a good time to remind everyone that you need to court military members for your anti-war activism for it to mean any amount of a good goddamn. like. that was a really, really, indispensably important aspect of the anti-war movement during the Vietnam war. That's how you get mutinies to happen. Do not be stupid about this.

Benefits of allying military members: potential to disrupt function, chance to foment mutiny, ability to attain crucial information needed to attain our goals, ability for friendly connections within the force to propagate ideology and give good optics, exciting potential of saboteurs, just having some kind of in with the guys who will be asked to kill you during states of unrest, long-established historic precedent of successful revolutionaries utilizing connections within the armed forces, you might stop the guys from doing the war stuff you don't like

Benefits of ostracizing military members: asserts morally upright character

billboard for low cost cremation was misread

September Book Reviews: The Summer War by Naomi Novik

One of my anticipated new releases for this year. In The Summer War, young Celia accidentally curses her eldest brother in a fit of rage when he announces he's planning to abandon his family and disinherit himself. Now older and betrothed, Celia must manage to free her brother while navigating the treacherous waters of her country's politics and uneasy truce with the Fae.

The Summer War, like Novik's earlier Spinning Silver, draws heavily from familiar fairy tale tropes but puts its own intriguing spin on them. The story's strongest point is by far its characters: clever and genre-aware Celia, her improbably shining older brother and prickly awkward younger brother, her cunning father consumed by his grief. My only quibble is that the final resolution felt a bit too pat, but I greatly enjoyed this bite-sized novella overall.

A must-read for Novik fans and a good place to start for fairy tale lovers.

The Lizzie Trap - Ep: 78