Toxic swag gap relationship

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

not my best work

i'm afraid the phrase "touch my wee wee touch my fucking wee wee!" has become a consistent part of my internal monologue vocabulary

he was just very real about it

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

Are they allowed to ask this for a pizza order?

omg it’s dr. roberta bobby, author of one of my favorite tweets ever written

Omg she wrote one of my favorites also

did you know that not all salmon die after fucking. it's only like 90%. imagine going home to the ocean after that

you and the gang driving home from the club but 90% of you died

you're watching my dead wife montage but I don't do anything aesthetic like run on the beach so it's just clips of me zoning out at work and playing the sims in my apartment