well that actually depends on what type of brain rot we’re talking— like gen z brain rot has wabi sabi but shit like six-seven is absolutely cooked bs.

everyone is saying that the Louvre heist was pulled off by the crows and only could have been planned by Kaz Brekker but lowkey it feels more like Jesper kept insisting he could plan a better heist than Kaz until Kaz finally let him plan one expecting it to crash and burn with sixteen back up plans and then Jesper’s plan actually worked

Jesper two days before: so we’ll use a *rolls dice* ladder to get in through the *pulls a paper out of a hat* second floor window where we’ll steal *throws a dart at a board* a bunch of jewelry and then ride away on scooters!

Wylan: and how will we get to the jewelry?

Jesper: …smash through the glass? Ooh! or we could use that thing that cuts holes in glass!

Nina: and what do we do with the ladder afterwards?

Jesper: …set it on fire?

Inej: and you genuinely think this is going to work?

Jesper: …yes?

Matthias: this is not going to end well

Kaz and Inej scootering away after

Inej: so you pulled some strings to make it work?

Kaz, *still reeling and incredibly confused*: …no…i can’t believe he pulled that off

@the-true-bastard-of-the-barrel @the-sharp-shooter is this true?

I’m offended you need to ask 😔✋✨

Which is…? What do I get?

Murder and Kruge.

Murder who? How much Kruge?

I do care about my life you know Zoya. I don’t want to die, or any of my crows to die.

Murder this dimwit. 500 Kruge.

You don't care about anything but money, Brekker.

For onlyyy 500 Kruge? Who do you think I am, dearest Zoya?

Which means I care for my life, for without it I won’t have money.

Gasppp she’s joking btwww we’re like amazingggg it’s okayyy don’t worrryyyy

I don’t believe you. But you are fine unless @therealstormwitch wants to give me more than mere 500 kruge.

I'll give you a Ravkan noble. How does that sound Kaz Brekker?

Why do you have a Ravkan noble, and which noble?

I'm the queen. Duke Radimov. Get his compliance. Steal his jewels. More than enough for you.

Sounds amazing, sweet Queen Zoya. When and where can I expect my lovely Duke?

@the-sharp-shooter @the-wraith-official @sunshine-bombs-n-arson @thisishowtobeaheartbreaker @the-matthias-helvar We have a job, Crows.

oh my god finally— I can take the big guns out

Yes, Jesper. You can actually shoot things this time. However, please for the love of everything, do not distract Wylan or let Wylan distract you.

No promises boss man. I mean, have you SEEN Wy handle chemicals and blow things up?? Hot af.

@sunshine-bombs-n-arson

Which is…? What do I get?

Murder and Kruge.

Murder who? How much Kruge?

I do care about my life you know Zoya. I don’t want to die, or any of my crows to die.

Murder this dimwit. 500 Kruge.

You don't care about anything but money, Brekker.

For onlyyy 500 Kruge? Who do you think I am, dearest Zoya?

Which means I care for my life, for without it I won’t have money.

Gasppp she’s joking btwww we’re like amazingggg it’s okayyy don’t worrryyyy

I don’t believe you. But you are fine unless @therealstormwitch wants to give me more than mere 500 kruge.

I'll give you a Ravkan noble. How does that sound Kaz Brekker?

Why do you have a Ravkan noble, and which noble?

I'm the queen. Duke Radimov. Get his compliance. Steal his jewels. More than enough for you.

Sounds amazing, sweet Queen Zoya. When and where can I expect my lovely Duke?

@the-sharp-shooter @the-wraith-official @sunshine-bombs-n-arson @thisishowtobeaheartbreaker @the-matthias-helvar We have a job, Crows.

oh my god finally— I can take the big guns out

yes.

@the-true-bastard-of-the-barrel

are you ok?

@the-sharp-shooter took over my accounts. That was not me.

okay but like— I projected you really well 😌🤨✨

When in my life would I ever say that?

You totally would.

I would not. Truly, I am sad for you because you do not know me.

The beautiful less than 3 weeks we spent together was more than enough for me to understand you ☺️ (I’m never doing that again)

But, @the-sharp-shooter am I right or am I right??

Would he word it like that?? Absolutely not (which was why it was fun to post it from his acc)

Does the sentiment one hundred percent exist? Without a doubt. 😌✨

U should build it like that

So we can buy stock

Why.

We can make investments and you can have a safety net if things go wrong

And also more power ykyk

Things don’t go wrong.

Everyone makes mistakes

Accept your flaws for what they are

✨✨✨✨

Things do not go wrong around here.

That sounds like denial and a call for much needed therapy

You sound like a great punching bag.

So.

Your first diagnosis is anger issues

Who are you to diagnose me?

i didn't reblog with the wrong acc whaaat

A licensed therapist

Actually that would be a lie but calling people punching bags is a form of bullying

Would you like an orange as an offering of peace

*gestures to a single orange placed on a velvet pillow, which is on top of a pedestal*

That is… I think I am okay.

Oranges offer a lot of vitamin C.

*the orange multiplies by the millisecond*

You must choose, Kaz Brekker. Eat The Orange or be engulfed alive.

Choose.

What the hell is wrong with you?

@the-sharp-shooter and @sunshine-bombs-n-arson do literally anything.

…

so either I’m going to sit and watch this go down with pop corn, or you can agree on us doing a couple’s therapy session so I can watch with first class seats. Your pick 🥰✨

I do want him, anon

I see you learned what a comma is.

That's mean.

Maybe so.

I see you've learned what a period is.

I’ve known dearest Wraith.

"I've known, dearest Wraith."

Aww you really do love me

I was just testing you. Don’t you have work to do?

…Maybe I do.

Of course you were.

@the-sharp-shooter @thisishowtobeaheartbreaker he really loves me !!!

the fact that he said ‘maybe’ speaks volumes Inej. He just admitted to not being fully sure of himself, he’s not just in love— he’s down bad 🤭😏✨

He did in fact do this. And he did in fact learn what happens when he does this.

Poor Jesper.

He knew what he was getting into. He is fine.

i did in fact know what i was getting into, and i most certainly am not fine. don’t speak for me boss man 🙄✨

(im fine @the-wraith-official dont worry 😌✨)

You’re fine.

denial, i see. whatever helps you sleep at night boss man 😌✨

You think I sleep?

I like to hope that you might sometimes, after all, somebody in this relationship has to be optimistic— even if it may seem borderline delusional sometimes 😔✋

Borderline delusional is a stretch- a very huge stretch. We both know it’s all not true.

@the-wraith-official come get your sleep deprived man and tell him to sleep please 🙄✋

He did in fact do this. And he did in fact learn what happens when he does this.

Poor Jesper.

He knew what he was getting into. He is fine.

i did in fact know what i was getting into, and i most certainly am not fine. don’t speak for me boss man 🙄✨

(im fine @the-wraith-official dont worry 😌✨)

You’re fine.

denial, i see. whatever helps you sleep at night boss man 😌✨

You think I sleep?

I like to hope that you might sometimes, after all, somebody in this relationship has to be optimistic— even if it may seem borderline delusional sometimes 😔✋

He did in fact do this. And he did in fact learn what happens when he does this.

Poor Jesper.

He knew what he was getting into. He is fine.

i did in fact know what i was getting into, and i most certainly am not fine. don’t speak for me boss man 🙄✨

(im fine @the-wraith-official dont worry 😌✨)

You’re fine.

denial, i see. whatever helps you sleep at night boss man 😌✨

@the-true-bastard-of-the-barrel

are you ok?

@the-sharp-shooter took over my accounts. That was not me.

okay but like— I projected you really well 😌🤨✨

When in my life would I ever say that?

… well, the sentiment was definitely there. like spot on. c’mon 😃✨

He did in fact do this. And he did in fact learn what happens when he does this.

Poor Jesper.

He knew what he was getting into. He is fine.

i did in fact know what i was getting into, and i most certainly am not fine. don’t speak for me boss man 🙄✨

(im fine @the-wraith-official dont worry 😌✨)

@the-true-bastard-of-the-barrel

are you ok?

@the-sharp-shooter took over my accounts. That was not me.

okay but like— I projected you really well 😌🤨✨