okcupid what

It's over

you ever crave something you can't have? ssssshut up about your ex i mean i want grilled cheese but im scared of the stove

ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself

So as it turns out your sense of self doesnt exist in a vacuum. You gotta actually use it and bounce it off of other people like echolocation to see where you are as a person and shit. So if you dont regularly interact with other people the echoes just get weaker and weaker and before you know it your personality is a blurry fucked up fog clone of its former self. which it sucks because this makes it really hard to interact with people again but yknow

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

three shrups and a shrowl

tell me why i killed a guy in fortnite and he had 2 billion shotgun ammo

just in case

I love it when headlines get cut off

i don't care about monday's goals, tuesday wednesday dig some holes, thursday clean my mandibles, it's friday i'm a bug

sun wukong... very nasty monkey. the jade emperor did him a Big Favor making him the protector of the peaches of immortality, but sun wukong, Tricky Sun Wukong i call him, he stole the peaches! theyre very good peaches, they only bloom every 3000 years. not for monkeys! well it doesnt matter now, laozi put him in a prison, a new kind of prison, theyre calling it Eight-Way Trigram Crucible! theyre going to make a potion of out sun wukong!

OH So this guy’s purpose in life is to hang out in a Pokémon Center on Poni Island and tutor one move that only one Pokémon can learn, a Legendary postgame Pokémon from a Hoenn one/four generations ago. And that Pokémon naturally knows that move anyway.

Fuck me, I’m getting a new job. I’ll be standing in a Dunkin Donuts on Staten Island tutoring Spanish. But only if you’re early 19th Venezuelan military leader Simón Bolívar.

i'm so fucking over it

my beautiful baby who i'm naming untitled document

i can't seem to find my baby