NO SHIPPING IN COURT!

>see bird creeping up and down a tree trunk >look it up >common treecreeper

can't make this shit up

me reading straight up pornography: hmm… this one just doesn’t have enough accurate character psychoanalysis to get me off

i started playing this in my room and across the hall i hear my roommate go “….ugh ……whatever”

i started playing this in my room and across the hall i hear my roommate go “….ugh ……whatever”

now, it's true that sometimes the packaging will say that a girl comes pre-wiggled, but for best results it's recommended to wiggle all your girls yourself regardless

it's very important to wiggle the girl by hand

girls hand-wiggled by expert artisanal girlwigglers

you ever crave something you can't have? ssssshut up about your ex i mean i want grilled cheese but im scared of the stove

when someone is giving me verbal instructions and they end it by saying “hard to miss”. brother in christ you have no idea how easy it is for me actually

the way bitches are suddenly glazing blue people avatar cuz theres one character that isnt written absolutely terribly is fucking Wild

not to mention explicitly racist. are we ok with movies being racist as fuck if they look cool

“its a movie about racism theres gonna be racism” yeah fucking duh!! you dumb bitches!! james cameron is a racist who made a white savior x noble savage movie but colored it blue and yall ate it up!! help me

"You snooze you lose" anti nap propaganda, changing it to "you snooze yaaaaayyyyyy yippeeeee"

i was today years old when i found out that china has an alligator and it's one of the two extant gator species, alongside the american alligator. now im kinda obsessed with them. look at that little face, it looks so sly.

sniles so sneetly

tfw you're one of the most endangered crocodilians in the world with only 300 individuals left in the wild. you use to be wildly distributed across the yangtze river but have suffering centuries of habitat loss and human predation and now inbreeding is a huge concern in captive breeding programs, which have only had limited sucess. marco polo wrote about you in his travels* and it is thought that your booming mating calls inspired the myths about dragons summoning thunder.

*i fully believed he was talking about the nile crocodile oops

You're right on everything except the limited success. Limited success in Western (mostly American) zoos, yes. But in China, at the Anhui National Nature Reserve for Chinese Alligator (ANNRCA), there are tens of thousands in managed care (a 2018 facility report noted around 15,000 alligators, and this has been confirmed independently by international crocodilian conservation groups during site visits). There's also a smaller one, the Changxing Chinese Alligator Nature Reserve (CCANR), that has around 5,000. Breeding them in their native range has been wildly successful.

As for the wild population, the most conservative estimate is around 1,600 in the province after reintroductions, plus the couple hundred that exist outside of that core range. The population goes up every year!

Green onion mantra