Harry Potter Conversations

Posts tagged blaise

Normal people greet each other with hellos, hey’s and Hi’s, I greet my friends with insults and sarcasm. It’s the Slytherin way.

Blaise Zabini

Blaise: Are you ready for this?

Draco: Please. It's not like my aunt's a serial killer or anything....

Blaise: What would Malfoy say if I left his best girl behind?
 Hermione: He'd say "Do as Granger says." 
Blaise: ...... he would.... but he'd say it more cocky than you did...

Hermione: And Zabini? Your flat is filthy.
 Blaise: Oh, you have no idea. If I had one of those muggle black lights, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.
 Hermione: [disgusted] You got issues, Zabini.. .

Blaise: Is that gonna be weird for you, by the way? You being Mione's ex-fiance?
Ron: Yeah. No?
Blaise: Are you sure? It seems like you're a little off about it. Like that "no" kind of had a question mark at the end.
Ron: I'm pretty sure I'm okay with it.
Blaise: Okay.... Good?

Draco: Can we go to the spa?
 Blaise: Patience grasshopper.
Draco: Patience schmacience. I have a knot so deep in my neck it's almost a bone... I named it Granger.

Slytherin lost the match...

Draco: We need to go somewhere where we can get very, very drunk.

Pansy: I'm a mean drunk.

Blaise: Room of Requirement?

Draco: Let's go.

Ron: Sometime when you're not busy, I wonder if I could ask you a few questions about sexual positions?

Blaise: If you even try, I will take out my wand and hex you between the eyes.

Blaise: We should go out tonight...
Draco: did you have somewhere in mind?
Blaise: [shrugs] not sure... muggle club maybe? pick up some ladies?
Draco: I don't know... 
Blaise: Why? what's with the hesitation Malfoy?
Pansy: maybe he's considering what a terrible idea it is to look for relationship at a bar?
Blaise: [scoffs] how would you know Pans?
Pansy: In my experience, meeting people at the bar is like going to the grocery store when your hungry - you tend to bring home shit you don't need.

Blaise: Weasel.. I'm going to teach you my ways... my sure fire motto to get some...
Ron: ..Some what?
Blaise: SEX Weasel! it's simple really you just have to remember the five f's. 
Ron: Five f's?
Blaise: yes! The Five F's; find them, fool them, fuck them, forget them, and find another one! 
Ron: .... You've never had a girlfriend before have you?
Blaise: No, why?
Ron: Because that kind of motto persuades a girl to rip off your testicles Zabini....

After the Battle of Hogwarts

Blaise: Days like today make me want to get so drunk I don't wake up for at least two days.

Draco: ... So bender at the Hog Head?

Blaise: I'll get Aberforth...

[Blaise analyzing potential brides who all look exactly the same]

Blaise: Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. And, let me guess, you have a great personality.

Blaise: I lied, Pansy doesn't think that you're a creepy stalker, she actually likes you.
Ron: Then why did you-?
Blaise: Because I think that you're a creepy stalker and I actually don't like you.

Blaise: Who's that cute boy you were talking to?
Pansy: Oliver. We just met, but so far I don't wanna poke his eyes out with a fork.
Blaise: Seriously? That's huge!
Pansy: I know!

Whenever you are single, all you see are couples, but whenever you are a couple, all you see are hookers…. its like the world is against you.

Blaise Zabini

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