he’s been in plenty of rooms…. but he’s never had one before 🧸
Wee John digital portrait- 6 hours on procreate
I'm at the airport and I hate it so I'm challenging myself to write something on my phone before I board. Bone apple teeth. //
Ed can't help but get a little teary-eyed sitting at their gate. He knows, on a rational level, that air travel is safer than getting in his car every day. But knowledge as cognitive understanding and knowledge as belief are two very different experiences. He thinks about dying, and he thinks about the fact that he needs to write a will, he thinks about never seeing his friends again, never seeing Stede again, and that's almost too much to bear except--
Except Stede is right next to him, looking happily out the big window to where planes are being prepped and landing in the golden sunrise.
Ed thinks of Stede briefly as an NPC with a never-ending scroll of dialogue, all the airline facts Ed could ever want and more waiting for him should he choose to ask. And he will ask, but he's hanging onto that until those terrifying first 15 minutes of flight.
For now, he watches Stede watching. Keeps his attention right there with Stede's pretty curls and not six feet under.
"Did you know," Stede says, reaching for Ed’s hand without looking away from the takeoff happening in front of them. "That there are, on average, 10,000 planes in flight?"
"I didn't know that, babe," Ed says, leaning his head on Stede’s shoulder. Stede plants a kiss on his temple. Ed squeezes his hand, thinks deliberately about the pink clouds on the horizon and the smell of Stedes conditioner, and nothing else.
"Did you know," Stede starts again, in the gentle voice Ed knows means I'm here, means we're safe, "that air travel is statistically much less likely to lead to injury than even taking the subway?"
Ed feels his throat constrict, and he swallows.
"Knew it was safer than highway travel. Didn't know it was safer than like, taking the bus," he says.
"It is," Stede promises, resting his head on Ed’s.
"And," he adds after a moment, "if we do die in a terrible crash, I bet we'll be the coolest ghosts around. A haunting for the ages!"
Ed giggles. "We could wear sheets, like they do in Beetlejuice, to really mess with people."
"Ooh yes. And write stupid messages to people playing with ouija boards!"
"Classic, gotta do that, I mean they're literally asking for it," Ed agrees.
"Do you think we'd be linked to a particular place?" Stede asks.
"That is a part of the typical ghost laws," Ed says.
Stede crosses his arms. "That's unfair! I died traveling, I should get to be a traveling ghost!"
"Sorry mate, nothing I can do, rules are rules."
"Well that's bunk. I think we need to lobby for new haunting legislation. Power to the poltergeists!"
Ed laughs, and kisses Stede on the cheek. He rests back down onto his shoulder.
"Will you tell me your airplane facts during take off?"
"Gladly," Stede says, settling into Ed.
Ed takes a deep breath. He sqeezes Stede's hand and watches the sunrise bloom from baby pink to orange. It's beautiful.
Things that Ed says at the Christmas party he's forced to attend for his company even though he's Jewish and doesn't celebrate Christmas
- "Christmas sameach! Oh, you say merry christmas, right? Am I pronouncing that correctly?"
- "And when are we doing the egg hunt? Oh, is that a different holiday? Sorry, it's so hard to keep them all straight!"
- "Will you be offended if I don't drink the eggnog"
- "Will you be offended if I drink too much of the eggnog"
- "okay, so we just put a whole tree inside? Cute. I love your little traditions."
- "yeah yeah, the yule log and fruit cake is really cute. I just wish you'd brought some normal holiday food. Where are the latkes?"
- "so we're celebrating the birth of - Josh, right? His name's Josh?"
By the end of the night he and Stede, previously strangers, have thoroughly bonded over an escalating bit where they pretend they don't know who Jesus is
Ed & Agency: Poison into Positivity
In response to these posts by @ourfag here and @piratecaptainscaptainpirates here which are spot on, but broke my soul nonetheless, I want to look at how Stede and Ed interact in the final scene, and Stede demonstrates what healthy companionship looks like.
For me, it’s so important that the show finishes with an attempt at the Innkeeper dream because (other than Stede) this is the only want Ed has ever been shown to have which is truly his and which comes from a healthy place. It’s born of his own internal locus, not a trauma response, not coerced, and not an act of avoidance. Ed lacks assurance in speaking about the realisation of his ambition, but it’s significant how Stede confidence-builds subtly throughout this exchange, supporting Ed’s agency, and gently counteracting any negative talk. The difference in how Stede interacts which Ed compared with Ed’s father / Izzy / Jack / Hornigold / Pop-Pop… is startling and reassuring.
I’ve tried to traffic-light the speech with my interpretation of the emotion or tone. (It’s subjective, so cool if you read it differently).
positive neutral negative
S: So, we’re innkeepers then?
E: I thought we might give it a go, unless…you’re having second thoughts
E: It’s a bit of a shithole, I know
S: It’s a fixer-upper. Good bones
E: Come on…Let’s try and find something to eat. Maybe there’s a feral animal or something we can cook up for dinner
S: I love that idea. Place just needs a little elbow grease.
E: Jesus, what is that smell?
(my subtitles say Bonnet inhales and I find this ridiculously positive)
S: Smells of the future…to me
E: Yeah, love that
S: Me too… but we should actually find out what’s making that smell
E: Urgh! Fuck that’s strong!
S: Maybe we just air it out a bit
Ed often makes a neutral comment and then loses confidence, following with negative ideas. Stede offers positive or calm neutral responses, and Ed returns to neutral, or once to positive. And each time Ed falters, Stede subverts and mirrors back an alternative take:
It’s a bit of a shithole / It’s a fixer-upper
What’s that smell? / Smells of the future
Fuck, that’s strong / Maybe we just air it out a bit
Stede’s practical without being negative. He gently reframes Ed’s pessimistic thoughts without removing his agency.
-It’s Ed’s dream, and they’re going to do it together
-It’s Ed deciding on how to acquire food, and they’re going to do it together.
It’s not that Stede will never have an opinion. But he won’t have one for the sake of it if Ed’s way is fine. We also know that if Ed wants Stede to take control, he damn well will. And knowing Stede can and will catch him if he falls, will help Ed continue to develop his confidence and self-esteem in making decisions and demonstrating agency. There is no perform for me or plan, plan, plan. And although it might be difficult, if Ed ‘fails’, it doesn’t have the same life or death high-stakes as piracy or with an Angry White Guy. Ed’s safe to fail with Stede.
Stede’s instinctive and intuitive understanding of how to handle Ed’s soul still leaves me astonished.
The little groan Ed makes when Stede tells him this…
It’s so conflicted.
He’s annoyed Stede has respected his ‘I love you’ blockade, but still managed to say the thing he wanted to say. It’s a slight call back to 107 when Ed is prickly towards ‘I’d come to your restaurant’ and Stede takes subtle control of the narrative, sneaking in the meet-cute at the end. Stede possesses a linguistic dexterity when he’s in earnest (and in love) which will blindside you.
It’s an emotional sucker-punch too. It knocks the wind out of Ed. Because for how many nights has he lain awake longing to hear these words from Stede? From anyone, actually, his whole life?
l love everything about you
Unconditional love
Ed’s eyes shut momentarily. It appears to cause physical pain.
A slight head-shake follows showing his confliction. And when Stede states Ed doesn’t need to say it back, he breathes a little sharply, pauses, then doubles down. Yet you can see the Stede-magic starting to work.
Ed remains listening, turning his head every so often to glance at Stede. Inviting more without seeming to be doing so. And Stede remains calm in his approach, allowing Ed his emotional dignity by not overwhelming him.
Stede’s going to gently love the hell out of this beautiful man. Literally.
Taika Waititi as Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, painted over 7 hours and 45 minutes in Procreate! Had a lot of fun with this one, really leaned into the florals.
Reblogs welcome but don’t repost anywhere!
latriviata
