oh I just thought of something that has been driving me up the wall:
There is a difference between someone responding to you with a counterpoint to prove you wrong and asking you to explain an additional concern.
“What about __?” Doesn’t always mean they’re trying to do a “gotcha,” they might just lack the knowledge or reasoning to figure it out themselves and are hoping you can give it to them.
we spent so much time in school learning about how stereotypes are bad and awful and then we came out as queer only to pretend stereotypes are okay because we’re ~different~
turns out the hill wasn’t that easy to climb over, we’re just making excuses for ourselves
when we were close it always felt like we weren’t as petty as everyone else, like I influenced your thinking to give people complexities and the benefit of the doubt
but whenever you had a petty opinion of someone and I’d somewhat disagree, it felt strange. because I always thought we were so similar
what if you’re like everyone else? what if I dislike you?
I’m afraid your pettiness has been directed at me now. and I feel alone again, because I thought you and I were above that thinking.
“pettiness” for the lack of time I have to describe the concept I’m talking about, and for the lack of a better world altogether
I wish you’d give me the benefit of the doubt, I guess. I haven’t asked for forgiveness, I haven’t indicated that I ever deserved you at all. why do you have to think the worst of me
is it the only way?
when I say “anyways” after a long tangent it’s me shaking the etch n sketch that is my brain
Men are held to such low standards in relationships and it’s infuriating; just today I heard from my co-workers that ones husband never drove to come see her when they were doing long distance, and the other’s hasn’t mowed once in their 30+ years of marriage.
Like we like fun at lesbians moving fast in relationships, but that’s because women are socialized much differently than men, and those traits lead to healthier relationships. Though gender roles are fucking wack in general, you can’t deny that women are raise to be more understanding, expressive, and caring in general. My girlfriend drives 2 hours to come see me every weekend, and my friends boyfriend can barely make the 40 minute trip to come see her.
When women are in relationships with each other, they are more likely to talk about feelings, and go farther for their partners. Women do this in hetero relationships too, but it’s rarely reciprocated if they’re with a cis male.
I read an incredible essay about how gay marriage is incredibly beneficial to straight partners, because straight relationships always have a basis in inequality, due to societal gender divisions. Gay relationships show what it’s like to have a relationship without a gender based power imbalance.
Ladies, if you wouldn’t put up with it from a best friend, don’t let a boyfriend get away with it. Cultivate a society where men in relationships have to at least have basic decency; not only through your partners, but also through how you raise your sons.
I’m shamelessly rebloging myself because I think this is a very important concept that more people need to be introduced too; I hope this gains traction and shows people to think critically about how they are treated.
I think there’s an issue with always trying to define things and put labels on things and put them in a box, with my emotions, what I’m feeling, romantic orientation/gender, how I act, who I like and dislike, my habits, everything
just take a break
slow down
you don’t have to figure this out 100%
not yet
relax, okay
you’ve got time
you don’t have to tell people things
you don’t have to explain all of your thoughts
you don’t need someone to understand you
take your time
if you catch yourself thinking you “should” be doing this instead of that because “that’s what I told *person’s name*”, stop.
you change, your habits are fluid
you aren’t the same person you were a month ago
listen to yourself
to what you’re really thinking
but not for too long
take a break
it’s okay
