For Reasons, I need to be devoid of substances for two weeks that include Christmas, New Year’s, and my birthday. This means no coping mechanism drugs/drinks and no anti-inflammatories or pain management.
Not only am I Suffering, but my horrid shift lead has indirectly stated her intentions to do me harm by using a fragrance I’m having an allergic reaction to. And can’t take antihistamines for.
It would also be good for me to avoid stress during this period of time, but we just can’t have that, can we?
Update: I’ve developed a neurological tic. Advice nurse told me to go to urgent care. Urgent care came to the same conclusion as me, which is that it’s stress. Can’t have steroids or muscle relaxers, so I got sent home with a packet on meditation.
So what began as a twitch every 10-40 mins has turned into a full-strength muscle contraction every 2-10 minutes.
I went to the ER and they diagnosed me with ✨stress✨. The “good” news is that if I can fucking relax, these convulsions should resolve on their own within weeks to months.
They did say I could have antihistamines, so that’s nice. Unfortunately, I’ve been coughing so hard at work that my O2 sat got fucked up.
And I forgot to include my dad’s birthday in the list of holidays that I can’t have drugs for.
Worker’s comp is so fucked up. They waited five weeks to approve therapy for my sprained wrist. Yes, my wrist is still sprained. You know what might have helped that? Having PT for the past five weeks.
For Reasons, I need to be devoid of substances for two weeks that include Christmas, New Year’s, and my birthday. This means no coping mechanism drugs/drinks and no anti-inflammatories or pain management.
Not only am I Suffering, but my horrid shift lead has indirectly stated her intentions to do me harm by using a fragrance I’m having an allergic reaction to. And can’t take antihistamines for.
It would also be good for me to avoid stress during this period of time, but we just can’t have that, can we?
Update: I’ve developed a neurological tic. Advice nurse told me to go to urgent care. Urgent care came to the same conclusion as me, which is that it’s stress. Can’t have steroids or muscle relaxers, so I got sent home with a packet on meditation.
“why do you always talk about carrying narcan with the same memey tone as ibuprofenposting? like what is this bit, what are you doing” 1. I am actively trying to make it seem like an easy, normal, and non-intimidating thing to do. which it is! a lot of people have access to naloxone but don’t think to actually get any because they think they don’t have a reason to need it, but if they just saw three memes about being a narcangirl then next time they see some on offer for free to the public then they might remember “wait. I’m the public. I, too, can be a narcangirl.” 2. this isn’t even a bit for me I am genuinely like this. me and my narcan #mynarcan
For Reasons, I need to be devoid of substances for two weeks that include Christmas, New Year’s, and my birthday. This means no coping mechanism drugs/drinks and no anti-inflammatories or pain management.
Not only am I Suffering, but my horrid shift lead has indirectly stated her intentions to do me harm by using a fragrance I’m having an allergic reaction to. And can’t take antihistamines for.
It would also be good for me to avoid stress during this period of time, but we just can’t have that, can we?
Tragedy alignment chart. Feel free to use, but please reblog if you do.
And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in
[ Image description: Two intersecting axes. The X axis is labeled “it was always going to end this way” and “it didn’t have to end this way.” Te Y axis is labeled “you were in control” and “you had no control.”
The reblog addition adds labels for each quadrant: “self fulfilling prophecy,” “it’s all your fault,” “the horror of inevitability,” and “they let you down.” /end ID ]
Open Printer is an open-source, repairable inkjet printer designed for makers, artists, and anyone tired of throwaway hardware. Built with standard mechanical components and modular parts, it’s easy to assemble, modify, and repair. You can print on standard sheets or paper rolls and choose between black or color cartridges, refillable at your convenience.
This project aims to reclaim our everyday tools. As such, it features no proprietary drivers, no cartridge DRM that locks you to a single vendor and is designed to never become obsolete. The Open Printer is built for longevity and customizability, ensuring that it remains fully under your control.
I sprained my wrist two months ago and it hasn’t been healing up, so they sent me to an orthopedic specialist for an MRI.
The ortho did a million ridiculously painful “does this hurt?” manipulations of my wrist bones. That was 5 days ago and it definitely made the pain worse lmao unapologetic fuck.
Then he said “yeah, this kind of sprain can take up to six months to heal. If we took an MRI now, it would probably just show a sprain. So let’s give it six more weeks. Maybe it’ll be better by then. And if it’s not, then I’ll make the clinical decision at that time whether you need an MRI or maybe just a cortisone shot to reduce inflammation.”
And I had to go back to the first doc who was like “so did you get the MRI?” and I had to say “no, he said to wait six weeks and maybe they’ll do the MRI then.” So he said “well… I guess we’ll just have to follow up in six weeks then.”
🙄 But I’ve had my wrist x-rayed twice now, so sometimes we can have imaging for funsies as a treat.
when I was a kid I really enjoyed Suzy Eddie Izzard’s comedy routines. I remember she had this one joke that went something like
(fatherly voice): yes little johnny. you must learn to play the clarinet, because I never got the chance when I was a boy. (little johnny voice): well you got the chance now. why don’t you learn it now?
I was talking with another trans person earlier, and we were talking about relationships with our respective moms. they were talking about how their transition was being viewed by their mom as something being done to her.
I was talking about a similar thing with my mom’s feelings about my surgeries. I was jokingly saying, as if to my mom, “the things I do to my own body actually don’t affect yours at all, because we have two different bodies. that one is yours, and you can do whatever you want with it. but this one is mine.”
this is honestly something I think is really pervasive with parents, even outside of the context of being trans.
with my own mom, I know she deeply resented the patriarchal way she was raised. I know (because she’s told me such) that part of the reason she wanted kids was to prove that she could raise a boy and a girl equitably. It was very important to her to “have one of each.”
what she never said explicitly, but I’ve sort of come to realize must be the case, is that on some level her desire was to re-parent herself. she wanted the experience of getting to raise herself the way she wished her parents had raised her. she wanted to see what kind of life she would have had if she had gotten the same opportunities as her brothers.
on some level, this feels almost progressive. a laudable goal. but the thing is, it’s an impossible desire. you can’t raise yourself. you are always going to be raising an entirely separate person.
I am not my mom. her raising me was not her raising herself; it was her raising someone who had never existed before. every effort to preemptively treat me as she wished she was treated, to make predictions about my life based on her own, or to encourage her own interests far past when I communicated not liking them, was often a kind of a replacement for asking how I wanted to be treated, asking what I wanted from my life, or asking what I was interested in. Instead of learning about me, she wanted to shape me.
I think this is so common. This desire to give a child all the things that the parent wanted as a kid seems so generous and heartfelt from the point of view of the parent. But for the kid, it often ends up in continuous signals that everything they might want, enjoy, or become needs to be justified through the lens of fulfilling this parental fantasy.
there is a sense of duty to live the life the parent wants, because the parent couldn’t. then this child doesn’t get to live their life either, and might grow up and have their own child and parent with the same approach. sometimes there’s generations upon generations of everyone living their parent’s life instead of their own.
eventually I think parents all do need to take stock of what they really want out of being a parent.
as a parent, you cannot raise yourself. you can only raise a new person in the world. if you are grieving the lack of support you had to be yourself growing up, you are not going to successfully recreate yourself through forcing a child to pretend to be you. if you really wished you learned to play the clarinet as a kid, you need to stop displacing that wish onto your child and recenter it.
this grief that drives the desire to create oneself through one’s child relies on the belief in one’s own life somehow already being over. it relies on a profound sense that it’s “too late” (to ask to be treated differently, to pursue certain interests, or to become someone new). but unless you’re dying, this belief is not accurate. there is still time. learn the clarinet now. you’ve got the chance now.
let your kid figure out what they want to do with their own free time and body. don’t try to shape their life into the best version of what yours could have been. if you want to do right by your kid, then be a source of support so this entirely new human being gets the chance to live their ownlife.
