tmi trauma and wistful hindsight time, let’s goooo
(Source: miseriathome)
More wisdom teeth stuff
Just wanted to say that I’ve been like nonstop chewing on my stitches these past several days and I’m so ready for hem to fall out, even though that’ll probably be somewhat unpleasant. Just like, the way they’re tied, the stray end bits stick out perpendicularly from the insides of my cheeks and get between the rows of my molars, so I’m constantly getting the sensation of gnawing on something and it’s just weird. Pretty sure I’ve been chewing off tiny bits of suture thread and straight-up eating them this whole time since my gum swelling went down enough that I could actually close my jaw.
Hhhhhhhhh now they’re unraveling into long-ass threads that just sit in my mouth but are attacked to my face and I am so unnerved and uncomfortable and I can’t stop fucking chewing them. I though this shit was supposed to dissolve into bits, not do this shit, what the fuck!!
More wisdom teeth stuff
Just wanted to say that I’ve been like nonstop chewing on my stitches these past several days and I’m so ready for hem to fall out, even though that’ll probably be somewhat unpleasant. Just like, the way they’re tied, the stray end bits stick out perpendicularly from the insides of my cheeks and get between the rows of my molars, so I’m constantly getting the sensation of gnawing on something and it’s just weird. Pretty sure I’ve been chewing off tiny bits of suture thread and straight-up eating them this whole time since my gum swelling went down enough that I could actually close my jaw.
(Source: miseriathome)
At the risk of being tmi with some mild transition-related body talk:
At an even greater risk of being tmi, I elaborate. (added an eta since first publishing)
@epochryphal replied:
(via miseriathome)
Recently, my facebook On This Day thing has been pulling up a lot of interactions I had with my abuser back when the thing was happening and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable… I’ve been having a good number more nervous/panic episodes about that time of my life, even though several months ago I had reached the conclusion that I was finally ready to start processing stuff. Like I made the mistake of clocking the comments on one of my old statuses and I saw that they have a profile picture of themselves, which made me remember how they never used to take/upload selfies or let anybody take their picture because of self-confidence issues and I was the one who encouraged them to do it and they started posting pictures and like that just turns my stomach, I can’t stand the idea that I have a legacy in that horrible mind or what I’m in any way meaningful or influential, because then that means I had the power to choose a different path but I chose the one where I got fucked up. And I once saw a backpack that was literally the exact same backpack that person had and I nearly flipped my shit because that backpack is burned into my brain as the only photo I ever took of the shit person and it’s bad enough I had to hide in public back in the day to avoid them–I don’t need the haunting feeling that I’m going to be found and followed again. Likewise, I drove by their college at one point and my brain supplied that they had graduated a while ago and then I had the image of them walking freely through the world and showing up in unpredictable places and that’s just incredibly sickening and idk, I think this is contributing to the early start of my regular fall breakdown, because normally that doesn’t happen until late October, but I can already feel it creeping in.
(Source: miseriathome)
Anonymous asked: for the ask game, S H I T F U C K!
………………….it’s funny because I reblogged two ask memes that used letters of the alphabet and I have no idea which one this ask is supposed to be for. I’m gonna go with the more recently reblogged one, but you can re-ask if you want the other one.
s – song last sang
Oh my god it was a parody of Jingle Bell Rock but about being drunk
h – heritage
Um…………… second generation Chinese-American. I don’t usually talk about it much because being second generation is an utter mess and a very singular experience, so it’s a lot easier to be a “normal” American who gets angry at being asked where they’re “from” and will at times fuck up English or pop culture references
i – in love with
There’s this really great guy but idk if sempai will notice me. It’s been a few years and I keep telling him and he doesn’t seem to understand. His blog is @my-psychological-tower so go tell him to date me already ;)
t – time you woke up
Like 1 pm, which was kind of surprising because I usually get up right at lunch (2 pm here) on non-school days
f – favorite song
Probably The Freshman (Jay Brannan cover of The Verve Pipe) or Beautifully by Jay Brannan as all-time favorites, although I’ve had a completely inexplicable love for Sofia by Alvaro Soler since I heard it, so
u – underwear color
Black and also they’re my super comfy special boxers because everyone wanted to know
c – current time
It’s like 1:30 am. Pretty early in the night for Spain standards, although I’m writing a big-ass paper
k – kissed someone
Yo, the other day I was considering trying to count how many people I’ve kissed, and then I realized I honestly don’t remember if I kissed certain people or not so long story short yes
Anonymous asked: W X Y!
W. If I’ve done something I regret very much
lmao yes
X. 3 turn ons
Gentle curves of body fat, being physically defended, gruff wake-up voices
Y. 3 turn offs
People who don’t shut up (me), any kind of play violence, random “I’m horny” and “aren’t you going to do something about that?” shit because I swear to god
Anonymous asked: 63, 64, 84, 85?
63.) What is your definition of “having sex”?
There has to be some kind of contact involved with genitals or breasts or butts or any of those other “recognized as sex organs” things, but I suppose physically intimate nudity toes the line. You can also have sex through the phone or through text or through skype and it totally counts. Orgasms are not a requirement.
64. What is your definition of cheating?
This is a question I think about a lot for a variety of reasons.
I think for me, what it means for somebody to cheat on me is for them to engage in a taboo thing but then keep is secret from me for an extended period of time. Because people slip up, and if your relationship dictates “we only have sex with each other but kissing somebody else is okay” or “we only kiss and hold hands with each other, but with no one else,” things might happen. Rules can be broken, intentionally or not, and it’s important not to punish actions but intentions (in this case).
So if my partner sleeps with somebody else, for example, and we had already established (or heavily implied) that we would be monoamorous sexually, I want to know about it. And if they tell me a day or two later and express sincere concerns, I don’t think it’s my place to hold it against them. But if they approach me months later, it’s like… the secrecy is what actually hurts the most.
Of course, there will always be modifiers to this general rule. I don’t know what I would do if my partner ended up being engaged in something non-consensual, for example, but obviously that might be a case where it’s not their fault if they don’t feel safe approaching me. But even more of course, the whole concept of consent is something I also think about a lot, and I have a lot of thoughts about whether consent is even good enough. But that’s totally me getting sidetracked right now, so if you want to hear about it, that’s a different ask.
Anyways, my first ex asked out my best friend while we were dating and didn’t tell me about it until like a year and a half later after we weren’t even together anymore, and I was more pissed that I spent so long in a relationship with him not knowing than I was that he did it.
84.) Why did your last relationship fail?
When I first asked him out, my ex put a cap on the relationship at one year. Right around that mark, things started getting rocky as fuck. I think we were sort of anticipating something to happen (or at least I was) and it built tension. We were also under a lot of stress because of finals. He constantly made sure to remind me that it wasn’t a “serious” relationship, and I think that stifled a lot of things, too.
It was also like… I was in high school when we started dating and had just finished my first year of college when it ended. During that time, I became way more involved in social theory and started thinking seriously about my future. I also started using my preferred name and pronouns. And at the time, he was on a very self-discovering journey, and he was using the relationship to heal.
I thought he was perfect because he understood the two most important facets of my identity at the time: mental health and drum corps. But at the end of the day, that was all that we had in common. He didn’t use my name or pronouns, and we butted heads on practically every subject; he had a different vision of his adulthood than I did; we didn’t even have the same tastes in anything. So there’s also the fact that to some degree, the relationship was always a superficial farce.
85.) Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
Yes. Although I might be a little cautious because I am a very disagreeable human and it takes a very special kind of
saintperson to put up with my nonsense, and somebody who only talks to me online probably wouldn’t know what they’re getting themselves into.
Also, not to be that person, but~ I don’t really want to lead anybody on. I do, in fact, have a boo from the interwebs!
Anonymous asked: 58, 59, 62
58.) What are five ways to win your heart?
1.) Buy me things. I love things. I literally buy way too many things.
2.) Let me be right. I am way too stubborn for anything else, and sometimes a person just needs validation.
3.) Understand my niche interests. Right now, that would be some mess of anti-capitalistic intersectional leftist theory and obscure band politics. Very effective when combined with #2…………
4.) Give me food. Good food. Take me out for food. Buy me sweet things. Or just set me up with kitchen supplies and ingredients, because honestly, I will make my own food, I just love food.
5.) Own a friendly cat. Because cat. I harass the cat.
59.) What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
Uhhh, I took this literally just now, for this ask. In between hairstyles atm so I look like I’m 12.
62.) What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
Aftercare. My ability to appreciate sexual experiences is highly dependent on stereotypical tumblr fanfiction rules: safe, sane, (enthusiastically+informedly) consensual
Also I really like marching uniforms and precise marching technique, so band babes, take note.
korrigu-deactivated20180205 asked: 78
What’s your dirtiest secret?
Pretty sure my proper answer is one that literally nobody is looking for, tbh, so I’m gonna write a fun one
I’ve done ~things~ in a wide variety of inappropriate places, including but not limited to a pre-school parking lot, a classroom, a psych ward bathroom, a friend’s birthday party, and a church
Today on “things I was not expecting…”
I called the ob/gyn department with the intention of scheduling an appointment for when I’m back home in December and the receptionist told me there was an opening for tomorrow.
(Source: miseriathome)
Why is my dash filled with posts about periods? Did we all get them at the same time?? I got mine this morning?????
(Source: miseriathome)
Cuddle weather? Fuck that. It’s hickey season. You can hide anything behind a large scarf.
