Jim West

My time with Heimstaden has been a masterclass in how a housing company can take something simple and turn it into a marathon of nonsense that would exhaust even the most patient offshore engineer. From day one it felt less like renting a home and more like participating in a long term behavioural experiment titled How Much Administrative Cirque du Soleil Can a Tenant Tolerate.

Let us start with their response times. Reporting an issue to Heimstaden is like whispering into the North Sea and hoping someone onshore hears it. You know the message technically left your mouth but that is about where the certainty ends. Danish tenants confirm the same pattern. Doors broken. Lifts broken. Anything capable of being broken left in that proud condition for so long that moss could realistically start forming. Tenants do not receive service. They receive a prolonged, echoing silence that borders on performance art.

Communication is another triumph. Emails disappear into a void so effective it should be studied by defence contractors. Phone calls ring out until the caller begins to question their own commitment to staying alive. The online portal feels like it has been programmed by someone whose sole objective was to create tension. If communication were a KPI, Heimstaden would immediately send it to an external consultancy because there is no evidence they handle any of it internally.

Then there is the move out process. This is where Heimstaden truly flexes its operational imagination. A perfectly ordinary handover becomes a festival of creative accounting. Danish reviewers and my own experience are in enthusiastic agreement. Charges that appear questionable. Cleaning invoices that suggest the flat needed restoring to a museum exhibit standard. Bills issued with the absolute confidence of a company that knows you have already moved out and therefore your appetite for a fight has been replaced with the desire to simply get on with your life.

The wear and tear assessment deserves an award for fiction. According to Heimstaden, after two years of normal human living, your flat should look as though no one has ever inhaled inside it. A small scuff on a floor? Monetise it. A faint mark on a wall? Financial opportunity. A general sense that humans have lived there? Catastrophic. One begins to suspect their standards were developed by individuals who live inside showrooms and faint at the sight of fingerprints.

The move out charges arrive with all the delicacy of dropping a shipping container from height. Some tenants wait months for their deposit. Some nearly a year. Others are still waiting and may now qualify as mythical creatures. The pattern is the same. Charge first. Explain later. Communicate never.

Overlay this with the service during the tenancy, which is a thrilling combination of delays, ignored requests and communication that could best be described as atmospheric, and the picture becomes quite something. Heimstaden is not simply inattentive. They are strategically absent until an invoice can be drafted.

Their operating model based on collective tenant experience can be summarised as follows.

Respond when the universe feels generous
Repair when circumstances are unusually convenient
Communicate via silence and hope
And during move out analyse the property as though investigating a high profile crime scene

It is a tenant journey built on endurance, patience and the sort of blind optimism normally reserved for weather forecasts.

In my professional opinion Heimstaden has perfected industrial inconvenience. They behave as if tenants should feel privileged simply to pay them. And when the relationship ends they express their gratitude through charges that would make even a seasoned auditor break into a concerned sweat.

For anyone thinking of renting from them, here is my tactical advice. Photograph everything. Every corner. Every surface. Every scratch. Treat it like an offshore inspection report with the serial numbers filed off. Heimstaden does not judge based on reasonable wear and tear. They judge based on an imaginary immaculate standard that not even luxury hotels maintain.

This is not renting. This is endurance training with paperwork.

My experience with Heimstaden has been nothing short of a strategic deep dive into how a housing company can take simple processes and turn them into complex, soul eroding exercises in futility. From day one to the bitter end, the journey unfolded like a case study titled “Operational Excellence, but in Reverse.”

Let us begin with their legendary delays. Reporting an issue to Heimstaden feels like submitting a message to a time capsule: you know someone might read it one day, but certainly not within your tenancy. Danish reviews reveal the same phenomenon across the board. Broken doors, broken lifts, broken everything left languishing for weeks, months, and occasionally geological eras. Tenants do not receive service; they simply receive silence.

Communication is another of their avant garde experiments. Emails vanish without reply. Phone calls drift unanswered. Online requests appear to be handled by an algorithm designed specifically to build tension. If responsiveness were a deliverable, Heimstaden would outsource it immediately because no evidence suggests they do it in house.

Now we arrive at the move out stage, where Heimstaden truly reveals its artistic vision. A moment that should be procedural becomes a masterclass in financial creativity. The Danish reviews echo with familiar laments: unjustified deductions, inflated cleaning charges, invoices constructed with the confidence of a company fully aware that you have already moved out and therefore have limited will to fight.

And the wear and tear assessment. Dear god. According to Heimstaden Denmark, after two years of genuine, lawful human habitation, your flat should be returned in a condition usually reserved for presidential suites. Anything less than five star luxury is flagged, documented, and swiftly monetised. A faint mark on a wall becomes a revenue opportunity. A scuff on a floor? Call the auditors. A slightly lived in appearance? Catastrophic.

Their standards appear to be established not by housing professionals but by a committee of showroom curators with severe allergies to reality.

The move out charges themselves form a theatrical finale. Fees arrive with all the subtlety of a freight train. Some tenants describe deposit returns that take months. Some wait nearly a year. Others seem to wait into myth. The pattern is stunningly consistent: cost first, explanation later, and communication never.

Combine that with the service quality during the tenancy the delays, the ignored requests, the vanishing communication and the imbalance becomes almost admirable in its boldness. Heimstaden is not simply inattentive; they are strategically disengaged until the moment an invoice can be generated.

Their operating model, based on the collective consensus of Danish renters, appears to be this:

• Respond slowly, if at all
• Perform repairs when the stars align
• Provide communication by osmosis
• And then, at move out, scrutinise every molecule of the flat as if evaluating a crime scene

It is a tenant journey built on resilience, patience, and a complete renunciation of the radical idea that customers deserve value.

In my professional opinion, Heimstaden Denmark has mastered the art of industrialised inconvenience. The organisation behaves as though tenants should be grateful not for service, but simply for the privilege of paying them. And when the relationship ends, they ensure that gratitude is financially expressed through a dazzling array of charges.

For anyone considering engaging with them, allow me to offer a strategic insight: document everything. Photograph every corner, every surface, every fitting. If possible, conduct a full forensic sweep. Because Heimstaden Denmark does not judge your home based on two years of reasonable use. They judge it based on an imaginary standard of immaculate perfection that not even luxury hotels maintain consistently.

This is not renting. It is endurance.

And the only thing they deliver reliably is the lesson that expectations, like deposits, are unlikely to return intact

Delivery drivers BRILLIANT
customers service absolute dog S$$T
£1000 fridge bought 2 draws broken phoned customer service they carnt help put me through to samsung I have to do all the donkey work email.pictires in wait for it to be validated and will recive draws in 24 days.
CURRYS I bought the fridge from YOU why should I have to deal with Samsung!
CURRYS YOU WILL BE PICKING THE FRIDGE UP AND I WILL BE GETTING MY MONEY BACK GLAD I PAID FOR IT ON THE CREDIT CARD AS THEY ARE NOW DEALING WITH THE ISSUE.🖕

ps don't by online as the stores carnt help you

I should have gone to samsung and cut you out more fool me!!

Quick simple painless experiance from start to finish .
The delivery was spot on and found the driver Andy very polite and helpful
Will be using sterling again

Shower of S**T AVOID AT ALL COSTS

if you want a quick and fast transaction dont use OPTIMA legal

took nearly ten weeks to complete i was told it would be done by xmas 2018.
made over 40 call each time being on hold for an average of 15 mins .
and was constantly lied to in the end i have been recording the calls to pass to the ombudsman obviously making them aware.

here is just a snippet from 24th dec

24/12 issues with names this has only been picked up now after 8 weeks emailed all photo IDs
i called to check they have been received all ok
2/1 told everything now ok 2-3 day to complete will receive an email and text
7/1 was told completion date could not be done due to no final review
9/1 had to get on to barclays due to optimas incomertance
10/1 optima now need a letter to contact land registry
15/1 now there is an issue with the docs sent in on 24th after arguing there was no issue advised now ready to complete will receive a email today
16/1 no email received and now been told its still not ready they will try today
17/1f called again as no email advised it will be today for competition now set for 22nd

22nd Finally done!!!!!!
and glad i don't have to deal with these CLOWNS ever again

OPTIMA you should be ashamed of yourselves you have cost me extra payment s and loss of earning as i had to cancel an offshore trip due to you lack of communication.

and sharon you already have my details as i filed a complaint on the 16th !!!!!!!!! still awaiting a call


7th Feb
Email from complaint team recived today £50 gesture of goodwill OPTIMA you ate a bunch of CLOWNS