my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

It is extremely sad that there are people out there who are using an AI girlfriend tool who also crushes their dreams and aspirations.

This being an AI girlfriend is what makes this truly bonkers

Peter Jackson on casting Frodo

“Frodo was a very, very important character in the movies. But he’s also a very difficult character to play and to cast. […] We were convinced that Frodo is gonna be an English actor, ’cause we wanted the Hobbits to basically be English as Tolkien really wrote them. So, we went to London and we started auditioning.

We couldn’t think of any actor to play Frodo. We had nobody in mind. We thought it would be unknown English actor, a young kid. We were in London auditioning for about a month and we’ve probably seen three hundred Frodos. There were two or three that were okay, but nothing magical, you know. ’Cause Frodo had to be magical. Every time the casting room door opened and some nervous young actor would come in, we were saying, ‘is this gonna be Frodo?’ And you sort of know within ten seconds that it wasn’t really Frodo. It was a worry, but we were plugging on.

And then our casting director said to us one day, ‘A package’s just come in the mail. It’s from Elijah Wood’. It was a video tape, a VHS tape. I had heard Elijah’s name, but I’ve never seen a film he’d done. I actually had no face for Elijah, I didn’t know how he looked like.

So, we put the video tape in. Elijah was in LA and heard that we were in London and we’re not gonna come to LA. He really wanted to get this role. So, he hired a dialect coach to teach him accent, he’d gone to the local costume-hire, got some cheesy kind of Hobbit costume on. He’d gone into the trees somewhere behind his house with a friend, and he just videotaped his own audition. He didn’t have our script, so he was reading from the book, he was doing Frodo parts from the book.

I just put this video tape in, and literally, not having known who Elijah Wood was really, I just thought, ‘he’s wonderful, he’s absolutely great’. And so, Elijah cast himself”.

(x)

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

Same vibe

Phone sex is fucking weird as hell because like both you and whoever your doing it with have to be horny completely separate from each other and like 90% of the time you’re not so its like the worst acted phone sex line of all time.

Like one time this girl I was in a weird situation with called me while my fat guido ass was eating a sausage and pepper sandwich on some “baby I’m so horny right now” bs and I had to pretend I was into it while I enjoyed the italians biggest and only contribution to society. The sausage and pepper sandwich is superior to all e genetalia

So I ended up with free time at the end of my first class today, so I was like "do yall wanna see a vintage meme?" and turned on "what does the fox say". Expected like. A laugh from the kids, or even just a "wtf is this mx?" which is. A reasonable reaction to What Does The Fox Say.

But instead of a reasonable reaction. all of my students watched the first 60 seconds with jaws agape. And then this one kids turns to me like the fucking eye of Sauron and literally goes:

My husband told me I also should share the next part of this story, where I, feebly trying to defend my honor against a child, said, "No, this video was just big when I was in college!" and he scoffed, rolled his eyes, and absolutely obliterated me by saying, "So did you go to furry college?"

this owns lmao

he fucked around and found out 🤷🏻‍♀️

cumplane au

AMAZING 🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️❤️