dramatic-dolphin:

asteroidtroglodyte:

I love how these are from an Unreality subreddit but to my eye they just read like regular Tumblr shitposts. Did we cross-pollinate or something

some of my favorites

dizzyahellfire:

sevensixone:

monsterpotion:

foone:

Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the “G"s

I heard thats where they get the "G"s for cell phone service

And the ones that don’t get approved for cell phones, go into roller coaster forces

fabrickind:

fabrickind:

oobh i got plany off bobbin thread

plany,,,

ALT

segamascott:

mikkeneko:

conspiracydawg:

sight I saw in san francisco, twice: gaggle of tiny children leashed together being herded along, everyone in hi-vis

ALT

theshitpostcalligrapher:

star-thief:

cephalopodvictorious:

olicrosse:

fixed it

ourhg

animentality:

sporesdruid:

chongoblog:

ampersketch-art:

chongoblog:

Can’t wait for, like, 2025 when we look back on the 2018/2019 era and say “hey, remember when we were all really freaking depressed? That was a crazy time! Glad we aren’t like that anymore”

Hey,

Don’t say anything

ooppo:

ooppo:

ooppo:

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

not that i care

translatingpostsinfrench:

cottoncandylesbo:

translatingpostsinfrench:

cottoncandylesbo:

they call my dick excalibur. because it sat in a lake for a long time . no other reasons

cottoncandylesbo

ils appellent ma bite excalibur. parce qu'elle est restée dans un lac pendant longtemps . pas d'autre raison

FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS (BONUS POINTS)

1.) Do you think OP would allow the French near their posts? Why or why not?

2.) Does translating the post add any additional humor? If so, how?

3.) Would another language affect your chances of survival?

3.) Are you in danger?

3.) How fast can you run?

QUESTIONS SUPPLÉMENTAIRES (POINTS BONUS)

1.) Quelque chose me fait dire que non.

2.) Le français n'est-il pas une vaste blague ?

3.) Je ne crois pas, jusque là, l'anglais n'a que des effets secondaires minimes sur ma santé.

3.) Apparement.

3.) Pardon.

sandersstudies:

Funny thing is when you’re like “how are you?” To somebody who is clearly doing awful and they automatically go “good!” And then they have a beat and they go “I mean *heave a heavy sigh* I’m fine.”

an-absolute-nightmare:

sunfortune:

scream

catcryptid:

witchblade:

mattibee:

Imagine stealing a bitch’s look only for bitch to steal the look right back from you