I didn’t get any sleep last night. When I checked the time a few minutes ago, my reaction wasn’t “holy fuck, this is unhealthy. I need to go to bed!”

My first thought was “damn, looks like my shift at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza is almost over!” Which I spoke aloud to a dark, empty room.

This is how I know I need to sleep more.

You shouldn’t fear a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing to flee

Start worrying about the presence

Underneath the Christmas tree

Saying na na nabooboo is just a weak rage spell that only works when both the caster and target are in first grade. It can be made more powerful by sticking out the caster’s tongue whilst wiggling their fingers by the side of their head.

“I’ve always been miserable. There isn’t a happy bone in my body.”

Oh yeah? Checkmate.

Rewatching the clone wars for the millionth time and I noticed that the separatists stole the FUCKING ARK OF THE COVENANT.

I just fell asleep and had a dream that “milkbaiting” was a thing where youtubers would put pictures of milk in their thumbnails to get people to click on their videos. It became so widespread that we had people talking about the milkbaiting problem on youtube

Dark magic? You fool. Did you not realize who I am when you saw my Star Wars t-shirt instead of wizard’s robes? I use DORK MAGIC™! With a d20 as my arcane focus and passages from Lord of the Rings to serve as my incantations, none dare stand against me!

I want to do some mad science. I’m not talking the doomsday device inventing kind of mad though. I want MAD science. The science is angry. You’re mixing chemicals, and those chemicals are really pissed. Sodium Nitrate is pissed at the state of the economy, Chlorine is mad because it just lost 500k in a poker game, and Sulfiric Acid is just screaming in a blind rage.

A cool way to play D&D, or maybe a standalone RPG. (Please DM if you plan on using this for commercial or social media purposes)

Concept:

Assemble an army of followers from across fantasy and folklore.

Categories:

Three different categories must be filled: The Inner Circle, the Agents of Darkness, and the Legions of Terror. These categories and their rules are explained below.

Inner Circle

The Inner Circle is composed of your strongest and most trusted minions. 

• You may only have 7 minions in your Inner Circle
• These minions must be intelligent, capable of communication, and must possess the ability to think rationally.
• Things like Balrogs, Wendigos, or other creatures that are beings of rage, hunger, and violence are not allowed, as they would kill you instantly.
• All 7 minions must be able to fit in one room (30x30ft floor, 10ft in height) at the same time

Agents of Darkness

Your Agents of Darkness fill many roles, from the generals of your armies to leaders of 

your cults. They are powerful servants, though not as mighty as your Inner Circle.

• You may only have 12 Agents of Darkness
• Your Agents must be intelligent, capable of communication, and must possess the ability to think rationally.
• You must assign 7 Agents to lead your Legions of Terror, 2 to manage production of weapons and armor, and 1 to lead the cult that worships you as their god. You must always have 2 inactive Agents to perform any tasks that may pop up.
• You may only have 1 agent that is a powerful beast (like a Dragon or Kraken)

Legions of Terror

Your Legions of Terror are your armies. They are massive hordes of creatures that

fight for you.

• You may only have 7 Legions of Terror, each with a maximum of 10,000 troops
• The soldiers in your Legions must be able to follow orders. However, they do not need to possess the ability to communicate or think rationally.
• You must always have 1 Legion guarding your Fortress.

Your Fortress

Your Dark Fortress is your base of operations, and the center of your power. Your Fortress must have a throne room. If your throne is destroyed, your armies have lost and your power is no more.