Cait's Reviews > A Monster Calls

You can also find this review on my blog, Cait's Corner!

First things first: This almost never happens, but I have to admit that I cried at the end of this book; I clutched my cute little kitty-kat and bawled.



However, I didn't cry because of what the book in general, necessarily, but because of what it did to me. It drags out your saddest memories and pains, kicking and screaming, makes you look them right in the face and watch them all happen all over again, no matter how much you don't want to. It effects you on the deepest levels and makes A Monster Calls really turn into what, I think, truly deserves the name of a novel. This book resonated with me so deeply on so many different levels; it's just astounding.

My dad died suddenly, in a span of only thirty short minutes, of heart failure three years ago when I was just fifteen. Beneath all of the sadness from his passing, I've also been horribly mad. I never got the opportunity to even see him alive even once on that Tuesday, to let my monster come walking and hold me up with its monstrous hands as I said the words I didn't think I'd ever have the bravery to utter. All of the little things that you thought would be indelible really can go away, just in the last couple of months I can't remember what my dad's voice sounds like anymore, and every time I look in the mirror, I see my dad; it's a blessing and a curse to look just like him. So for these three long years I've lied to myself; saying things like "it was his time" and "there was nothing I could do to stop it" all of those things that people want you to say and expect to hear after the death of a loved one. But, after this book, I, like Conor, realize that I didn't want him to go, dammit. He was my dad; the guy that got up every morning early just to tell me that he loved me. He was my confidante, my every Tuesday night ice cream sandwich "date", my Trekkie, my best friend. And I learned from A Monster Calls that it's okay to be selfish like that, because you need to be able to say that you want to hold onto the people you love most before you can truly let go. I'm not saying that the change for me will be immediate, but this amazing novel by Patrick Ness showed me that it really is okay. That, right there, is one of the best things that a novel can do, to truly be able to affect a person to a core. And that's what A Monster Calls did to me in more ways than one.

I could also relate to Conor's feelings of being alone, ignored, and being treated "specially" just because of circumstance. Not only were the stares practically unbearable, but it reminded me every day of what I'd lost. You begin to shrink inside yourself in order to avoid it all, and, at the time, you want to become unseen to your fellow classmates; because being invisible is better than the stares, the pity, the concern. Whether your loved one has passed or it's imminent, you still don't want to believe that it's actually going to happen or has happened. No matter how much you've said the total opposite to yourself and everyone else; there's still a small part of you that thinks they're just been on vacation and are going to walk through that door, wrap you in a hug, and tell you how much they missed you while they were gone. Those stares just diminish that little shred of hope that you've got, so Conor and people like myself react by shutting off. Again, like I and Conor learned, once you're shut off, it sucks. Big time.

I'm one of those kind of people that is more an introvert than extrovert when it comes to emotional pain. When my dad died, though, I broke. I cried for a solid hour, and even when I was able to stop myself, the total shaking of my body didn't stop. I can remember everything that night through those shakes, my little sister screaming, my mom calling and asking in garbled speech if I wanted to see my dad's body one more time before the funeral. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't go. Couldn't accept that he was actually gone. The shakes didn't stop until I finally fell asleep on my dad's side of the bed hours later. I only really cried hard one other time after that, a day before my dad's funeral, but since then, I hated myself for it. For being weak and crying when my mom and sisters were needing someone so desparetly to help them. I haven't cried like that since then, and for a whole year I tried to fill the space my dad left. It was useless, but I tried: I made the meals, cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, did all that I could to ease their pain and worries while only tending to my own late at night, silently crying into my pillow. What Ness showed me through Conor was that it's okay to cry while others are watching, to let them take care of me and what I've dealt with, for three long, and yet, at the same time, short three years. A Monster Calls was able to let me take some of the pressure and pain out of that bottle of pent-up emotions and sadness, and I can't thank Patrick Ness and Siobahn Dowd enough for doing that for me through Connor.

And I loved all of the stories that the monster-although I don't really think of him as a monster anymore which I think is part of the irony of A Monster Calls- told. Even to the third and final story you really don't know how it's going to end and what the moral (or, possibly, no moral at all) is of each one. And they're not just a bunch of random stories that have no meaning to the plot. They literally are the plot. It's what drives the whole story and gives Connor the dimensions beyond just a little boy grieving his dying mother. It gives the shading of a character that helps us as readers see his drive and purpose for doing all that he is doing, which you just don't find very often these days. I wouldn't have been able to relate Conor's feelings of loss and pain without them, and that would have been a total shame.

Can I just say that I absolutely loved the monster, because I did. He, or it, or whatever, was just such an amazing character. His cryptic answers, interesting stories, the ability to discern what is true and what isn't, and was there for Connor when he needed him to be really made him feel like a god, or; at least, how a god should be. At first, in the beginning of the book, when he started declaring about his "many names" and how awesome, powerful, and ageless he was, I thought, oh, here we go again, another mightier-than-thou, idiotic deity, but Ness's monster talks the talk, and walks the walk superbly and graciously. I will never forget about the monster made of an ancient Yew tree.

Maybe someday, when I'm ready, or even totally unprepared, my monster will finally come walking, and I sincerely hope for that day.

The writing for the story was perfect. It had just the right amount of lyrical prose, a pubescent teen's voice, and an adult enough sounding idea and story that it will keep practically anyone 13+ entertained and effected for the rest of their lives in the best way possible. I basically loved everything about this book.

What I'm about to say next is not a joke. It's freaking weird, but not a joke:

After I was finished with this book and sitting in my contemplative and teary-eyed silence, my mom, not even five minutes later, walked up and told me something totally shocking, knowing nothing of the book and what I'd just read. She told us that our close neighbors's daughter-who has two kids- was diagnosed with severe uterine cancer, and that the prognosis for her survival was not good. I was totally astounded at the coincidence and meaning of it all. The feelings that went through me at this point are really hard to describe, but it really goes to show that you never know when it's going to happen, and you need to be able to start the process of letting go at any time, because you never really know when yours and anyone you love's time is going to be up. It was like an extra slap to the face after reading this book about how cruel-and sad- life can really be, sometimes. If I have to make any request to anyone from reading this review, it's to, please, never regret a single moment, and make every single one precious.

In the end I would recommend this book with all of my heart to anyone and everyone. It is touching, poignant, and amazing. You absolutely do not want to miss out on this read.